


Total Drama Summer Camp

by DeadBread



Category: Total Drama
Genre: 1milliondollars, Camp, Chef Hatchet - Freeform, Chris McLean - Freeform, Competition, Drama, F/F, F/M, Gen, Island - Freeform, M/M, Summer, TDSC, Total Drama - Freeform, Total Drama Summer Camp, Wawanakwa, campers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7628545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadBread/pseuds/DeadBread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, the contestants that debuted and competed on the reality show "Total Drama Island" were never accepted onto the show but instead 22 other campers who auditioned were. "Total Drama Summer Camp" as it is rather known in this universe is basically what it would be like if Total Drama Island were to occur under a different title and with different competitors. </p><p>The twenty-two "campers" in this fanfic are all OCs who are under the possession of one person, that being the author.</p><p>The OCs that cameo all belong to a variety of different owners. None of said cameos or interns belong to me. Those characters belong to some online buddies of mine instead.</p><p>More information on the story and characters can be found at http://crazyboycory22.deviantart.com/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Total Drama Do Over](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/217876) by CoGreen2.0. 



(A vast body of water is shown on-screen, glistening in the smoldering heat provided by the sun. Closest in the foreground is a noticeably decrepit, stale dock. Various land masses are seen in the background, some of them hosting as a home for various forms of vegetation, most noticeably trees. Suddenly, a codger pops onto screen, his face equipped with a massively cheesy grin.)

???: A codger?! HEY! I'm not that old!

(After murmuring repugnant comments about the author and his invective against him, the man recomposes his excited attitude and cheesy smile. He resumes speaking.)

???: Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa! Somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host - Chris McLean. Dropping season one of the hottest, new reality show on television, right now! (Chris walks down the dock)

Chris: Here's the deal - twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy, old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Loser Boat, (chuckles) and leave Total Drama Summer Camp for good.

(The scene then transitions to the campfire ceremony area)

Chris: Their fate will be decided here, (gestures to campfire area with thumb) at the dramatic Campfire Ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. (picks up a stick with a marshmallow pierced onto it. He gorges the marshmallow and chucks the stick behind him) In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame AND a small fortune which, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle...

(scene shifts to a swarm of insects flying around in the air. A grizzly bear is underneath, swatting at them in annoyance and anger)

Chris: black flies, grizzly bears...

(The scene shifts again, this time showing a bowl full of disgusting maggots. One of them is real large in comparison. It has a face)

Chris: disgusting camp food...

Maggot: (hisses angrily at the camera. The scene changes once more and is showing Chris again, back at the dock)

Chris: AND each other. Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. (Clips of various cameras around camp are displayed on the screen) Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now on... Total... Drama... Summer Camp!

(theme song plays)

Chris: (is on Dock of Shame) Welcome back to Total Drama Summer Camp! It's now the moment we've all been waiting for: to meet the contestants! Oh and I almost forgot - if they seem a little ticked off, it's probably because we lied to them about staying at a five-star resort. (sees a boat approaching) Here comes the first camper!

(A boat drops off the first contestant. It is a noticeably, skinny male teen with black hair and dull green eyes. He's dressed in black pants, black and white sneakers and wearing a lab coat that is fully buttoned up. He's got on big, round glasses.)

Chris: First up is Charles! What's up, dude?

Charles: Salutations, Chris McLean. With one gander at the camp up ahead, I can easily conclude that you equivocated the truth about it and its quality. I am in a state of incredulity over all of this right now.

Chris: (blank stare) Uh...sure? I guess? Whatever. Stand at the end of the dock as you wait for the others to arrive.

Charles: Sounds resplendent. (smiles; walks off to the end of the dock)

(Another boat arrives. It drops off a young teenage girl who's decked out in Pokeymin gear. She's portraying as one of the franchise's characters. She shares the same name as said character. She's pretty much a doppelganger.)

Chris: Next up is June! Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa! How are ya, June? (a round spherical capsule that's half red and white kerplunks Chris in the head) Ow! What the heck?!

June: Sorry about that, Chris! I'm practicing my throwing. Gotta be ready and capable of aiming and throwing well so I'll be prepared for when I encounter a wild Pokeymin. Know what I'm saying? (gently nudges Chris in the side a few times)

Chris: Uhh...no. I do not know what you're saying. (rubbing head in pain) And watch where you throw those things! They hurt!

June: (retrieves thrown spherical object and giggles) Sorry, Chris! You see, I wanna catch as much Pokeymin as possible and train them all to their full potential in order to defeat other trainers and Gym leaders. (intense speech music cues) Defeating the gym leaders will get me badges, and once I have all eight, I can take on the advanced four. If I can beat them AND the advanced four champion, thus becoming the new champion, only then will I be closer to achieving my dream. That dream of mine is to be something nobody has ever been before. My dream is to be the very be-

Chris: Don't care. Join Charles at the end of the dock and wait for the others.

June: B-but...my dream! I didn't get to finis-

Chris: I DON'T care. We're moving on!

June: (sulks and reluctantly moves to the end of the Dock of Shame)

(The third camper has been standing there for a minute, waiting to be introduced. He's overweight and is dressed like a sailor. He has a big grin on his face. After gathering all of his luggage together, he waves goodbye to the boat that dropped him off and sighs happily. He picks up his luggage and waddles on over to Chris.)

Chris: Lou! What's up, dude? And why are you wearing a sailor's outfit?

Lou: Because I am a sailor! In my free time, I love sailing around lakes and oceans with my father and grandfather. They taught me everything I know about sailing, fishing and even driving a boat. One day, I'm going to be the captain of a ship.

Charles: Sounds like you're quite an ambitious individual.

Lou: Yes, yes I am. I like to dream big.

June: (runs up to Lou) You look like one of those sailors from Pokeymin...except they have Pokeymin to battle with. It doesn't look like you have any on you. I could be wrong. Are you hiding them? You do know that you HAVE to battle with another trainer if your eyes meet theirs, right? (June gets all up in his face and stares at him. Lou stares back at her uncomfortably and in confusion. He doesn't know what to say)

Lou: Uh...no...I'm not a Pokeymin Owner...or whatever. (June glares at him in annoyance)

June: They're called TRAINERS. Pokeymin TRAINERS. (is clearly emphasizing the word "trainers")

Chris: Enough! You will all have time for chit-chat later. Just get to the end of the dock, okay? I got other contestants to introduce here!

(Lou and June walk over to the end of the Dock of Shame. Charles has been standing there the whole time. He hasn't moved since he arrived. He's adjusting his glasses on his face as June and Lou walk back over.)

Chris: Moving on, our fourth arrival is Cory!

(The boat speeds off. It goes off screen to reveal a very skinny, teen male standing there on the dock with his luggage. His expression is dark and grim. He's not standing up straight, but is instead slouching. He's wearing a dark green hoodie, green shoes and blue jeans. He has brown eyes and short brown hair. He slowly walks over to Chris.)

Chris: How's it hanging, Cory?

(Cory just stares back at him with no emotion. He stands there, not saying a single word for several seconds. He finally decides to speak up.)

Cory: (sighs sadly) Hey...what's up?

Chris: Oh you know, nothing much. Just hosting a reality game show, that's all. You?

Cory: (sighs again. He clearly doesn't like being there) Just dealing with the misery of having to be here. I've seen reality shows like this before. I am aware of any upcoming misery and misfortune that'll ensue once the game starts. It'll be SUCH a blast. (rolls eyes)

Chris: Why yes, yes it will. (chuckles)

(Cory rolls his eyes once more as he slowly makes his way to the end of the dock. He glances over at the other three contestants)

Cory: I hope you're all ready to beat me. (sighs) 'Cause there's no way I'll be winning that million dollars. (looks over to the campgrounds) Wonderful. I should of known that brochure was full of lies.

Chris: Okay then. We got lots of negativity radiating from him.

(Suddenly, the camera pans over to the right of the dock to show a girl with long, ebony hair with a few cyan streaks running through it standing there. She's wearing an alabaster t-shirt with short, teal sleeves and has headphones wrapped around her neck. Planted in the middle of the shirt is a beamed musical note. Not to mention she has on convertible bluejeans, meaning she can unzip the pants legs and convert them into shorts. Her shoes are mostly red while the tongue of the shoes are white. Tied around her waist is a violet sweatshirt. She has a luggage case with her and what appears to be a big, black loudspeaker. It has wheels under it, making it portable.)

Chris: Everyone, meet Nicki.

Nicki: 'Sup! How's it hanging, everyone? Is everybody having a great time? (She has a laid-back and somewhat tomboyish touch to her voice)

Charles: As of right now, I'm expressing neutral sensitivity in regards to all of this.

Lou: As long as I'm not in any water, I'll be good.

June: (sighs disappointingly. She really wants to catch some Pokeymin.)

Cory: Just kill me already.

Nicki: (just stands there in awkward silence)...Wow. Tough crowd. (She begins moving along to the others until Chris stops her)

Chris: Um, Nicki, what is that? (points to her belongings)

Nicki: Dude...it's a luggage case.

Chris: Not that - THAT. (points to her loudspeaker)

Nicki: Oh, this? (wheels it in front of her)

Chris: Yes, THAT. Is that a loudspeaker?

Nicki: Yeah, but it's not just a loudspeaker. It's something more. (smiling widely)

Chris: Then what is it? (getting a little paranoid)

Nicki: Oh, it's nothing special. IT'S JUST MY BA-

Chris: Don't care.

Nicki: Wait, what? But I didn't get to tell you wh-

Chris: I DON'T care anymore. I lost interest. To the end of the Dock of Shame you go.

Nicki: Wow. That's rude, man. Not cool. Not cool at all.

(Nicki walks on over to the end of the dock and stands right next to June. June turns to her.)

June: I feel your pain, sister. He did the same thing to me as well. I was about to tell what my dream in life is.

Nicki: Really? (June nods) Wow. Harsh. Chris is ice cold.

Chris: BACK TO ME! (clears his throat) Alright. Next up is...

(The boat pulls up to the dock and drops somebody off. It drives off, revealing a young male teen wearing a red t-shirt and tan shorts. He's wearing blue tennis shoes and has dark black hair. He has light-dark skin. He's smiling. The smile grows even bigger when he spots Cory at the end of the dock. Cory notices who just arrived and his eyes widen. He then lets out a small, faint smile. Nobody notices it. Cory waves to the new arrival.)

Chris: Hello, Trent! Welcome to Total Drama Summer Camp! How ya doing, dude?

Trenton: 'Sup, Chris? It's awesome to be here! Yeah! A competition for a million bucks! Bring it on! (fist pumps and laughs) I love myself a good challenge and this is one that won't be easy.

Chris: (laughs) No. No it won't. (whispers to the camera man) He's in for a ride. (winks at the camera)

Trenton: (sees this and grows uneasy) Okay...I'll just go to the end of the dock now...

Chris: You do that.

Trenton: (runs over and drops his luggage into the pile that everyone else made at the end of the dock. He then gives Cory a big hug)

Cory: Trent!

Trenton: Hey, dude.

Cory: Well...here we are. I'm here, just like I promised.

Trenton: I can see that. Thanks for sticking to the promise. It means a lot to me.

Cory: Yeah, I know. That's why I joined in the first place. (they fist bump)

Chris: (is frowning) Are you done with your sappy moment yet? I got a show to host here!

Trenton: Alright, alright. Yeesh, man! No need to be a jerk about it.

Chris: (ignores Trenton) Moving on, here comes Wade! (points to the boat approaching the dock)

(The boat pulls up and parks right next to the dock, allowing Wade, the seventh contestant, to board off of it. Wade appears to be a male teen wearing blue jeans, a green t-shirt with a picture of a dinosaur centered on it, and sandals.)

Chris: Wade! Welcome to Wawanakwa!

Wade: (takes a good look at his surroundings) Let me get this straight...I'll be at this crappy summer camp for eight weeks with 21 other contestants?

Chris: Correctamundo, Wade. (flashes a cheesy smile)

Wade: ...Awesome. (beams) This is the perfect opportunity for me to spread my unmatched knowledge on dinosaurs to all the others! Sweet! (joyously joins the others at the end of the dock)

Charles: (mumbling to himself in irritation) I bet he doesn't know as much as me...

June: (gasps loudly in excitement) Does he know all about the dinosaur Pokeymin?!

Chris: (ignores June) That's seven so far. 15 more campers to go.

Wade: Greetings, fellow contestants! Did you know that velociraptors had skulls that were about 9.1 inches long?

Cory: And did YOU know that I don't care?

Charles: Oh please, Wade. That fact was merely child's play. Nobody would ever be caught off guard by such an obvious piece of trivia.

Nicki: Is that really an obvious thing to know about velociraptors? I didn't know that until now and I'm kinda surprised.

Charles: NONETHELESS, it is a fact known by many! Wade, if you so desire to enlighten those around you with your knowledge on such archaic creatures, I highly endorse you to tell trivialities that are not as notorious to most humans.

Wade: (ponders) Hmmm....alright! Thanks for the advice, Charles. (beams with joy; Charles scowls) Okay everyone, did you know that-

Chris: Everyone, please welcome our eighth arrival.

(A girl, with her black hair tied up in a ponytail, is on top of the boat. She suddenly goes into full sprint and leaps off of the bow, does two front-tuck somersault flips in mid-air and lands perfectly on both feet, standing up. Everybody just stares in total disbelief and awe.)

Chris: Campers, this is Theresa. Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, Theresa!

Theresa: Thank you kindly, Chris. (looks over to the other campers; they're still staring at her in total shock) Are all of you alright?

(Somebody in the small group of teens at the end of the dock starts slowly clapping. Suddenly, they are all rapidly clapping in applause to Theresa's entrance. They are all deeply impressed.)

June: (clapping rapidly) Holy smokes, girl! You got moves!

Charles: That was quite profound. An extraordinary display of athleticism is what that was. (applauds at regular pace) Splendid performance, Theresa.

Cory: That was...just...WOW. (clapping; eyes are large as saucers. He's still in major awe.)

Nicki: Yeah, girl! Rock on! I think this crowd wants an encore!

Theresa: O-oh...thank you all. (bows repeatedly) I'm flattered. An encore, you say? (smirks) I'm sure that could be arrang-

???: Oh yes, that was quite a spectacular feat indeed. (a slow, small, and steady applause is heard not too far behind Theresa) Nice to see I'll be running up against at least some competition in this game.

Chris: Miguel; nice to meet you. Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa.

Miguel: Hola, compadres. I'm looking forward to competing with and against all of you, but most importantly, I'm looking forward to winning and claiming that prize money.

Theresa: Not so fast. That prize money's mine, Miguel. I was born to compete and I was born to win. I've worked hard to earn most things in my life.

Miguel: Ah, so it seems we have something in common with one another. You see, I was born to compete and be victorious also. Now, I wouldn't say I've worked hard for everything in my life or even that I've worked as hard as others have, but a person like me doesn't have to. That's why it's such a delightful pleasure to be a natural at everything I do. (smirks; takes a step closer to Theresa)

Theresa: A natural at everything you do, huh? Is that right? Competition wise, you're in luck. (smirks) I'm a natural as well and all the practice and hard work that I've dedicated to everything I exceed in has made me a lot better than I would have been without it...obviously. Actually, without all of that practice, hard work and dedication, I'd still be talented as heck. I bet that I would still be better than YOU.

Miguel: Inspiring story, but in the end, the fact still remains; you're WRONG. Nobody is better than Miguel at ANYTHING. NADIE. Miguel es numero uno. Miguel es SIEMPRE numero uno. I'm above you and everybody else here and always will be. I'm highly capable of backing up what I say. If I were you, I'd quickly learn my place and forever remember that Miguel is superior. Manage to do that and no problems shall come your way. (smirks once more as he pushes his way past Theresa and joins the rest at the end of the dock.)

Theresa: Oh yeah? Apparently you have a lot to learn, Miguel. (narrows eyes) Once the time comes, I'll be happy to teach you a lesson or two.

(As Theresa makes her way to the end of the dock, a boat speeds away after dropping off another camper. This time, it is a female teen who is dressed elegantly and is attired rather fashionably well. With her is a HUGE suitcase, filled with who knows what. She flips her hair and does a small wave with her fingers.)

???: Evening, darlings!

Chris: Everyone, meet Amanda.

Amanda: (strolls on over to Chris) If it isn't the one and only Chris McLean! (smiles) Such a pleasure and honor meeting you, sir. You have no idea.

Chris: (beams; expression turns smug) Thank you, thank you. I know. (Amanda calmly and gently shakes his hand)

Amanda: It truly is nice meeting you, Mr. McLean.

Chris: (chuckles lightly to himself) Of course it is. When isn't it?

Cory: (under his breath) What a kiss-ass.

Trenton: (hears) Huh? You say something?

Cory: Nope.

Amanda: (eyes the other contestants, specifically the guys) Yoo-hoo~! Boys~! If one of you gentlemen would be kind enough to take care of my luggage for me, I'd really appreciate it.

(Everybody gazes at her suitcase in disbelief. It's a humongous, hefty piece of luggage. Nobody knows what's in it or how much of it there is except for Amanda. How it was moved off of the boat in the first place is anybody's guess.)

Trenton: (wide-eyed) You must be joking.

Amanda: Joking? Absolutely not, dear! All my daily essentials and needed valuables are in here. You don't expect me to be able to survive without them, do you? (acts to suddenly feel faint; she puts the back of her hand up to her forehead) Oh, the thought of it all! What would I ever do in such a scenario?

???: WOW. Now there's a drama queen. All this time, I thought my acting was impressive. (chuckles; Amanda turns around in surprise)

Chris: Kylie! Welcome aboard Total Drama Summer Camp.

Kylie: (nods at the others) Hi. (looks over at Amanda and her suitcase) Just how much stuff did you pack?!

Amanda: (still waiting for somebody to relocate her luggage for her) Only what I needed for my stay here. You know, just the necessities. (clears her throat) Not to sound rude, darlings, but I'm still waiting for somebody to take care of my luggage for me.

Lou: I'll help with you that, madam.

Amanda: Thank you, dear. You're such a gentlemen. (makes her way to the end of the dock)

Lou: (walks over and grabs Amanda's suitcase by the handle; gives it a nice, big pull and it only moves a foot; It's that heavy) In the name of Davy Jones, this is almost as heavy as an anchor!

Kylie: Ha. Jokes.

Amanda: (to Lou) Which is why I needed help with it.

Wade: Speaking of things that weigh a lot, did you know that a brachiosaurus weighed about 25 tons?

Charles: (deadpan) Still informing us all with overt pieces of trivia I see. (not impressed by Wade's facts; Wade sulks)

Kylie: (joins the others at the end of the dock) Great to see everybody getting along. (rolls eyes)

Cory: (snickers) Sarcasm. Nice.

Kylie: Thanks.

Chris: All of you! Hush! You teens talk WAY too much! (recomposes self; clears throat) Moving forward, our next camper is Brooke.

Brooke: (arms are crossed; has been tapping foot impatiently) About time you introduced me! I've been waiting here for, like, a whole minute! (stomps on over to the others) It was already bad enough that the boat picked me up five minutes late. FIVE minutes! That driver should be fired.

Trenton: (nudges Cory and whispers) Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. (Cory snickers)

Brooke: I heard that!

Nicki: Woah, take a chill pill. Just relax and have a good time.

June: Yeah, what Nicki said! Calm yourself, girl! (grins widely)

Brooke: I am calm. Also, you're not the boss of me.

Miguel: This is what you're like when calm?

Brooke: Nobody asked you!

Theresa: Let's all settle down. No need to make things worse.

Lou: (still trying to pull Amanda's suitcase) I (pant) agree. (pant) We should (pant) all calm down (pant) and just (pant) breathe.

Brooke: Hmmph. Fine. (crosses arms) Next time, be nicer to me.

(Various teens then either groan, roll their eyes, or talk among each other. Another female contestant walks off a boat and onto the dock. She scans her surroundings before addressing Brooke.)

???: The way that was handled was really unprofessional of you. I highly recommend getting your act together because a person acting as such won't be staying for long on my team.

Chris: Rebecca! Camp Wawanakwa welcomes you.

Rebecca: Superb because I don't plan on leaving any time soon. (looks over at the others) You there! Your posture is horrendous!

Cory: (looks all around him; points to himself) Are you talking to me?

Rebecca: Yes, you! Quit slouching and stand up straight!

Cory: (crosses arms) Make me.

June: Ohhhh snap!

Rebecca: (narrows eyes at Cory) Don't make me repeat myself.

Wade: (butts in) Guys, why fight when you can learn about dinosaurs instead? Speaking of which, did you know that the name Iguanodon means "iguana tooth"?

Rebecca: For one, don't interrupt us! It's a highly unprofessional thing to do. Two, this doesn't concern you in the slightest.

Amanda: (busy applying make-up to her face) Oh yes, quite rude indeed. (addresses Lou without even looking at him) Good sir, are you nearly finished with relocating my luggage?

Lou: (wheezes) Almost... (pant) done! (isn't even half way down the dock)

Rebecca: (targets Lou) You call that almost done? You would get done quicker if you put more muscle into it.

Lou: I am (pant) putting muscle (wheezes) into it! (pant)

Brooke: Yeah! What she said! Put your back into it!

Lou: (scowls but nobody notices)

Chris: ENOUGH! Can't you kids go five minutes without arguing? Sheesh!

(Everybody quits bickering and goes dead silent. Chris sighs in relief when he spots another boat approaching the dock. The character enthusiastically waves and gasps loudly at the sight of Cory and Trenton.)

Cory: (wide-eyed) No. NO! It can't be!

Trenton: How did he know about this show?!

Cory: (whips around to face Trenton) Did YOU tell him about this?

Trenton: What?! No! Why would I?

Cory: I don't know! I just wanna know why he's here!

Trenton: Your guess is good as mine, man.

Kylie: So...I take it you two know this guy?

Cory: Yes...sadly. (Trenton elbows him) Oof! I mean, yeah, we gladly do know him. (glares at Trenton)

Trenton: (whistles innocently)

Chris: Alright! Welcome to the show, Zane.

Zane: (boards off the boat; completely ignores Chris and runs straight to Trenton and Cory; he hugs them tightly) Oh my god, what are you guys doing here?! I didn't know you went and signed up for this!

Cory: (turning blue; wheezes) Right back at ya.

Trenton: Zane, please let go of us.

Zane: Oh, my bad! Sorry! (stops hugging them and giggles) I got really excited and couldn't control myself.

Cory: (retorts in a snarky way) Really? Couldn't tell.

Chris: Wait, you two know him?

(Trenton nods. Cory does as well but with reluctance.)

Zane: They sure do! (beams)

Chris: I was only expecting the cousins to know each other. The rest of you were all supposed to be strangers to one another! What happened?!

Charles: I'm speculating that this is a substantial coincidence.

Zane: Who cares how this came to be? I'm just happy to be with my friends! (hugs Cory and Trenton tightly once more; they gasp for air)

Brooke: Alright, we've all seen and heard from the optimistic weirdo now. Can we move on already?

Rebecca: How do you suspect to win with such a lack of patience?

Brooke: I don't need patience to win this show. The bigger question is how do you plan on winning with such a big mouth?!

Miguel: How do any of you here plan on winning with ME around?

Theresa: (glowers) Don't you start!

Kylie: (groans) Here we go again.

Charles: (to Kylie) Ostensibly, the others squabbling with one another was inevitable from the start.

Kylie: Undoubtedly. The best thing to do in this scenario is just lay back and watch the fireworks.

Charles: (smirks) Concurred.

(Suddenly, everybody is bickering, arguing, yelling, shouting, etc.)

(Rebecca and Brooke are going at it while Theresa and Miguel are up in each other's faces.)

(Lou is still trying to get Amanda's heavy suitcase to the end of the dock. Amanda is busy putting on lipstick while Zane continues to bear hug both Cory and Trent.)

(Wade is pestering Nicki and June, informing them about dinosaurs. Nicki tunes him out by putting on her headphones and listening to loud dubstep. June keeps chucking half red and white spherical capsules, small enough to fit into your hand, at Wade as an attempt to shoo him away.)

(All the meanwhile, Kylie and Charles observe the chaos with smug looks, enjoying the "show".)

Chris: (shakes head disapprovingly) Teenagers. (holds an air horn up high and blasts it; all the teens quickly cover their ears) ENOUGH! What is with you guys?! Can't you guys wait to bicker, argue, and cause tons of commotion until after everybody has arrived?

(Silence falls upon all of the teens.)

Kylie: ...No. (A few teens are heard snickering in response)

Chris: (leers for a moment) ...Anyways, our next arrival is Sp- (a large kitchen knife whirs past over his head; Chris ducks) Hey! Watch the hair!

(The knife lands in front of Amanda. It pierces into the wood.)

Amanda: (shrieks) I could of been severely hurt! Or even worse! Killed! Goodness gracious, who's responsible for such a barbaric act? (looks down the dock at the newcomer)

Chris: That would be Spencer. (gestures at him with a wave of his arm)

(Cory, Zane and Trenton all go wide-eyed. They appear to be scared out of their wits.)

Spencer: (cackles) Celia loves meeting new vict-er, people. Heheheh...

Theresa: Celia?

Spencer: Yes. (walks over and pulls the knife out of the dock) Celia. (aims it at the small crowd of teens and waves it from left to right) This is Celia. Spencer asks you all to treat her kindly.

June: ...Wow. (looks at Nicki and does the "cuckoo" gesture with her hand)

Nicki: You got that right.

Miguel: (snickers) You speak in third person?

Spencer: Yes! (has the tip of his knife up to Miguel's throat) Is there any problems with that?

Miguel: (calmly pushes the knife down with a single finger) Problems? Nah, not at all, amigo. Lo es tranquilo, hombre.

Kylie: Yeah, choosing him to be on the show was totally smart. Why not bring a crazy person who's in love with a kitchen knife that he carries around?

Cory: Sarcasm. I love it.

Spencer: YOU! (points at Cory with his knife, Celia) And YOU! (points knife at Trenton) AND YOU! (redirects aim of knife at Zane) Spencer has NOT forgotten!

Zane: Forgotten what? That you're our buddy? (smiles widely and innocently)

Spencer: No! Don't play dumb with Spencer or else Spencer will-

???: Will what?

(Spencer turns around and peers at two contestants who were just dropped off. He glares and scowls at them.)

Chris: Corey and Calvin! Welcome to summer camp, you two.

Spencer: So we've come full hexagon now, huh?! The whole gang is here! Wonderful! Getting rid of you guys will be so much easier now that you're all in one place.

Chris: (ignores Spencer) Okay, why did you two come here on the same boat?

Corey: Spencer, we'll deal with you in a minute. (to Chris) Originally, we were going to be on separate boats, but somebody thought it'd be a great idea to use something else other than gasoline to help refuel their boat. (glares at Calvin; Calvin shrugs)

Calvin: Hey, you learn something new everyday. What I learned is that barbecue sauce cannot be used as fuel for a boat.

Corey: Why did you think it could be in the first place?!

Calvin: Because barbecue sauce is capable of many things, Corey. MANY things.

Spencer: Can Spencer speak now?

Charles: (brushes off Spencer's question) Wait a moment...another Corey? (looks over at Cory in inquisitiveness)

Cory: Our names are spelled differently. Unfortunately... (crosses arms) that doesn't change the pronunciation. Obviously.

Chris: Okay, this is obviously going to cause confusion, even for me, so one of you is going to have to go by a different name.

Corey: You can address me as Hamilton. My friends already do.

Chris: Alright! Problem solved.

Trenton: (raises hand and hollers) Ooh! Can I from now on be addressed as Blackichan?

Chris: No. ...Wait, why?

Trenton: 'Cause, man. It's my nickname and it is awesome as shi-

Chris: Fine. No more name changes from here on out! From this moment forward, the taller Corey will now be addressed as Hamilton and Trenton, for some odd reason, will now be called Blackichan. Everybody got that?

(Everybody nods in unison.)

Spencer: (growls loudly) Hamilton! Calvin! (points at them with his free hand) We have unfinished business! (turns around and glares at Blackichan, Trent and Cory) That includes you three!

Chris: Okay, at first I believed that this was all a big coincidence, but now I'm having a hard time buying it. There's six of you and you all know each other. That's the opposite of strangers. Y'know, what the cast of this show is supposed to be composed of.

Hamilton: As individuals, we all have our own rights and decided to come here out of our own free will. We're surprised to see each other as much as you are to find out that we know one another, Mr. McLean.

Chris: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just get to the end of the dock with the others, okay? (rubbing forehead) I might need an aspirin later...

June: (tilts head) What is even going on anymore?

Nicki: Gonna be honest with ya - not a single idea.

(Calvin, Hamilton and Spencer all join the others at the end of the dock. Spencer avoids Cory, Hamilton, Blackichan, Zane, and Calvin as he navigates through the small crowd.)

Cory: So, how did you two discover this show?

Calvin & Hamilton: (in unison) Zane.

Cory: (slowly turns to face Zane and narrows eyes) Why didn't you tell us about them before they arrived?!

Zane: Sorry! Everything was happening so fast! It completely left my field of thought once Spencer showed up.

Blackichan: (sarcastically) Wonderful.

Cory: Sarcasm. Nice.

Calvin: Know what's even greater than that? (chucks a bottle of BBQ sauce at Cory's head) Barbecue sauce!

Cory: Ow! (rubs head) What the hell?

Brooke: Can we get a move on already? I'm getting a little tired of watching the reunion of six geeky loser friends.

(The six leer at Brooke. She turns her head away and crosses her arms)

Miguel: Yes, the sooner we get done meeting everybody, the better.

Chris: You teenagers have no patience these days, I swear.

(As another boat drives off from the dock and into the distance, a long-haired, blonde girl is seen standing on the dock. She's trembling and her eyes nervously shift from left to right. She avoids making eye contact with anybody there.)

Chris: Welcome to Wawanakwa, Lina.

Lina: ... (goes to the end of the dock without saying a word)

Chris: Took the words right out of my mouth. (chuckles)

Lina: (joins the crowd; stands by Charles, Blackichan and Cory)

Blackichan: 'Sup?

Lina: (looks away) ... (emits a soft, squeaky whimper)

Blackichan: (turns to Cory; they exchange weird expressions in regards to Lina)

Cory: (whispers) What was that about?

Blackichan: (shrugs) No clue, man.

Chris: You two! Quit absorbing screen time.

???: Yeah! True talent is what deserves screen time.

(Once more, a boat leaves the area after dropping off another teen. You get the routine by now. It's the final male teen to arrive to the island. He's geared up in a jump suit of some sort and has gloves on. He takes off his helmet that fully encases his head. After taking a whiff of the fresh air, he cockily smiles.)

Chris: Ron. Welcome.

Ron: Thanks, McLean. (addresses the others) That's right, y'all. Ron's the name. Let it be a name that none of you forget.

Kylie: (snickers) Nice outfit. What are you, an astronaut?

Ron: An astronaut? Ha! You're funny, lady. Ain't what I am obvious?

(A collection of shaking heads is displayed by the other contestants.)

Ron: Really, y'all? I'm a freaking race car driver! It should of been obvious. I got gloves and a darn jumpsuit on! A helmet, too! (holds it up for everyone to see)

Chris: (monotone) That's great, Ron. Move along now.

Ron: (walks to the other end of the dock) Unbelievable, I tell ya! How anybody could not figure out that I am a speed racer is beyond me... (rambles on as he merges with the group of other campers)

Chris: (notices another boat has arrived; sees the person board off it) Julie. Glad you could make it. (flashes his big, cheesy smile once more)

Julie: Trust me when I say that I wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world. (drags her luggage along with her as she makes her way to the others.)

(Lou's still trying to get Amanda's suitcase to the pile of luggage at the end of the dock. Why he's still bothering with it is beyond anybody there.)

Julie: (Passes by; shoves Lou over) Out of my way, Popeye.

Lou: Oooff! What was that for?!

Julie: For being in my way. (chucks her suitcase into the pile of luggage at the end of the dock)

June: I call foul! That was an act of unnecessary roughness! (makes gestures with her arms as a referee at a sporting event would)

Hamilton: I agree. That was really uncalled for.

Calvin: Yeah, what a load of SPAGHETTI!

Hamilton: ... (gives Calvin a weird look)

Calvin: What?

Julie: I honestly don't care what any of you have to say about that.

Lou: (gets back to his feet; talks under his breath) After that, I have plenty to say.

(From out of nowhere, a suitcase goes flying into Lou's back and easily knocks him over. The camera hastily pans over to the right and reveals a girl who is in a fighting stance of some sort. She has her right leg held up high in the air after she attempted to kick her luggage to the end of the dock.)

Chris: Nice kick, Samantha. (cackles)

Samantha: I'll admit, I was aiming for that to land in that pile of luggage, but after seeing it nail that one guy in the back and topple him over, I'm not all that disappointed. (chuckles) So worth the shot.

Lou: (groans) Glad you think so...

Samantha: Sorry! Try not being in the way next time! (laughs and joins the others)

Chris: That leaves us with one last contestant. (a honk is heard; Chris peers over and sees the last boat approaching) And here she comes now!

(The boat comes to a halt right at the edge of the dock. A moment passes by and finally the final female and contestant altogether steps onto the dock. The jaws of just about every male camper there drops as they stare in awe and desire. She flips her hair and saunters down the dock.)

Chris: Welcome to Total Drama Summer Camp, Marissa.

Marissa: A pleasure to be here, Chris. (continues her stroll across the dock. She waves and winks at the guys) Hi, boys.~

June: (shakes her head in disbelief and disgust) Can you believe this, Nicki? How typical of the guys, am I right? (no response) Nicki? (still no response) Yo, girl! (snaps her fingers in front of Nicki's face)

Nicki: (snaps out of it) Huh?! What? (looks at June) Oh, uh...yeah, totally. Right. Sorry about that, I was...zoned out. Yeah.

June: (raises eyebrow) You were...zoned out?

Nicki: Yeah, I was. (grows nervous)

June: ... (eyes narrow) ...Alright! (suddenly chipper) Don't zone out too much. Don't wanna miss anything important announcements, am I right?

Nicki: (not paying attention; staring off in Marissa's direction) ...Yeah. Right. I hear ya.

Zane: (gawking at Marissa) Dang.

Calvin: You can say that again.

Zane: Dang.

Calvin: I didn't really mean that, Zane.

Zane: Too late. Did it anyways.

Chris: Listen up, everybody! (All the teens go dead silent) Now that everybody has arrived, I'd like to take a group photo. Now, if you'd just follow me to this end of the dock. (leads the way; everybody follows) Alright, all of you gather right here. I'll be taking the shot from atop the boat. (climbs onto the bow of the boat and takes out a digital camera)

(All the contestants gather around and position themselves as Chris retrieves the camera out of his pocket and fumbles it around in his hands as he prepares to utilize it.)

Chris: Alright, got it! Everybody ready? Good! Now, say "Wawanakwa!"

Everybody: Wawanakwa! (brief moment of silence)

Chris: Got it! (observes the camera and realizes something) Oh, no wait, hold on! There's no memory card in this. (fishes his pocket for one)

Brooke: Could you, like, hurry up?!

Rebecca: Goodness, there isn't a strand of patience in you, is there?

Brooke: (retorts) I wasn't talking to you.

Chris: Found one! (places it inside) Alright, let's try that again. (aims the camera once more) Everybody say "Wawanakwa!"

Everybody: Wawanakwa!

Chris: Nice! You all move on ahead and gather at the bonfire up north. I'll meet you guys there in 10 minutes.

{{===Campfire Pit===}}

(Everyone is now gathered at the bonfire pit, either standing around or sitting upon rotting tree stumps. Chris stands before them as he welcomes them and discloses the rules and how the game functions.)

Chris: I welcome all of you to... (camera quickly pans out in revelation) Camp Wawanakwa! Your home for the next eight weeks -- or less, depending on when you get the boot. Everyone around you will be your fellow teammates, competition, and maybe even your friends...or more.

(The campers look around and about at one another. Some of them even exchange smiles, thumb-ups and nods. Others appear to be a series of things, including unsure, uncomfortable and possibly even intimidated.)

Chris: Whether you like it or not, it doesn't matter. Deal with it and live with it. In the long run, whoever evades elimination the longest and becomes the last person remaining on Total Drama will win a grand prize of one-hundred million dollars!

(An insignificant and mild amount of cheering and applauding breaks out among several of the campers. Some just grunt, remain stoic, or say "nyeh", "myeh", or "meh".)

Rebecca: Pardon the interruption Chris, but I wish to know where we'll be staying and sleeping when not partaking in a challenge.

Chris: Glad you asked. There's two cabins, one for each team. One side for the guys, and the other side for the girls.

Amanda: (raises hand and then lowers it when she gets Chris's attention) And what will the sleeping arrangements be like? I'd like to request to slumber in your finest queen-sized bed.

Chris: (snickers and guffaws) Queen sized beds? Um, no. In your cabins, you'll be sleeping on bunk-beds.

Amanda: (gasps; her expression turns into a blend of disgust and disbelief)

Kylie: Better than nothing.

Blackichan: I sleep on a couch. A bed is good news to me.

Chris: At least someone appreciates the sleeping arrangements. (leers in Amanda's direction)

Amanda: (scoffs and turns away)

Chris: Alright, back on track, it is time to divide all of you into two separate teams. (points to a small clear area of grass) Stand over there if I announce your name.

(Everyone awaits patiently in suspense for Chris to start listing off names. He does so, but one at a time in a sluggish pace.)

Chris: June, Blackichan, Ron, Lina, Charles, Cory, Rebecca, Wade, Lou, Nicki, and Julie. From here on out, you eleven will be known as... (tosses them a green, rolled up banner; Rebecca catches it and it unrolls to reveal the team symbol) The Screaming Gophers!

Julie: That's the lamest team name I have ever heard. Pathetic on so many levels.

June: No way! The team name is awesome! Our mascot is even cooler! Look! (points to the team logo on the banner) Adorable and badass!

Wade: (walks over) I have to agree, although I would of preferred an ankylosaurus...

(Blackichan and Cory high five in celebration of being on the same team.)

Chris: Now, for the rest of you. Hamilton, Kylie, Spencer, Amanda, Brooke, Theresa, Miguel, Calvin, Samantha, Zane, and Marissa. You are now known as... (throws another rolled up banner, this time it being red)

(Nobody catches it. It gently plops onto the ground and rolls open. Zane picks it up and stares at it in confusion. He's holding it upside down. Samantha facepalms and rips it out of Zane's hands and holds it right side up.)

Chris: The Killer Bass!

Brooke: Just when I thought the team names were already bad enough. (scoffs) Who was the bozo who came up with these team names anyways?

Chris: (sternly glowers at Brooke)

Calvin: YAS! I like the killer part of the name. It makes us sound badass.

Hamilton: That's debatable. I was thinking it makes us sound more like a joke.

Theresa: It isn't all that bad. Could of been worse.

Miguel: Hmm, yes. At least we're not entitled as screaming gophers. (smirks at the other team as they overhear this)

Cory: Both team names are equally crappy. Can we move on now or what?

Chris: I was just about to, Cory. Now, let it be reminded that cameras have been situated all over camp in all public areas and will be recording you at all times. Also, at anytime, you can share your thoughts, anything you may need to get off your chest, secrets, or anything else private in... (walks over to what appears to be an outhouse and enters)

\---> Chris: Here! Give the audience at home an insight into what's really on your mind.

\---> Ron: The race is very close to starting. It'll be a long one, but for a million dollars? It is worth it. Nobody can outrace me! I'm going to be driving laps around these fools!

\---> Lou: (groans) Amanda is now going to make me drag her luggage all the way to the female Killer Bass cabin! (sighs) But I'm a gentleman. How long it takes me doesn't matter as long as her request is fulfilled. Not sure how I'll pull this off, though.

\---> Julie: I came here simply to win the money. Regarding my "competition", this game won't be a challenge to me. The sooner these losers go, the less of their nonsense I'll have to deal with.

\---> Theresa: Miguel says he's a challenge, but he has yet to prove that. Even without any proof yet, I find him to be a harder challenge to overcome than just about everybody else. No offense to them, of course.

\---> Cory: I hate it here.

\---> Samantha: For those who didn't know, I'm a black belt in kung fu. It shows that I mean business and that I don't play around. Don't worry, I play fair. The others just better beware that I'm not afraid to beat 'em senseless if I have to.

\---> Ben: YAS! Cameo! Cardboard for life! I don't care if I'm not in this season, I'll win anyways! To all you haters out there -- just watch me. Chase said so and there's no way he's wrong! With that being said, bring it on! The King of Cardboard is ready.

\---> Miguel: Just a minute ago, I saw some guy running out of the confessional, screaming "Cardboard for the win!". I have no idea as to who that was. Must of been one of the camera guys or something. (scratches head as he ponders)

Chris: With that out of the way now, it's time to show you to your cabins.

{{===Cabins===}}

Chris: Bass, you're in the west cabin and Gophers are in the east.

(All the campers gather their belongings and relocate them into the cabins in preparation of unpacking their things.)

Lina: (mute; dragging her feet as she approaches the female Gopher cabin)

Julie: (comes stomping by; bumps Lina aside) Move it! You're too slow! (enters cabin)

Lina: (sighs and resumes moving along)

June: (catches up to her) Don't let her get to you. She's probably just in a grouchy mood today.

Lina: (faintly smiles)

June: Lina, right?

Lina: (nods)

June: Woot! I remembered! (Lina casts an odd expression at her before smiling) Yeah! Smile, girl! Things will be fine.

Lou: No!

June: (looks over at the Bass cabin; turns back to Lina) Okay, maybe not now but they will eventually.

Blackichan: Lou, it's just the females' portion of the Bass cabin. All you have to do is enter the room with Amanda's luggage and set it down somewhere. That's what Amanda asked of you, right?

Lou: Yes, but --

Blackichan: Enough with the excuses, man. You're acting like the place is acidic.

Lou: But it wouldn't be right of me to go where I'm not supposed to be! That's invading privacy! It's no different when on a ship. Captain's Quarters are off limits unless you have the captain's permission to enter.

Blackichan: (sighs and shakes head slowly) You're making this a lot harder than it needs to be, Lou.

Samantha: (walks up, tosses Amanda's luggage into the air, and then kicks it before it lands)

(The suitcase goes flying into the room and loudly smacks the wall. It drops to the floor with a thud. Blackichan and Lou, both with mouths agape, peer into the room in disbelief.)

Samantha: You're welcome. (walks away)

\---> Blackichan: And that, kids, is a good instance of a person NOT to mess with.

Brooke: Um, excuse me! Chris! Where are the outlets?

Chris: In the cabins, there are none.

Brooke: What?!

Chris: But you may use the ones in the communal bathroom, just over that way. (gestures with thumb)

Brooke: Unbelievable! (storms back into the cabin)

Chris: I'll be going for now. You all have half an hour to unpack. I'll meet you all at the Main Lodge once time is up. (saunters away)

Spencer: Hear that, Celia? Half an hour without supervision. (cackles; he caresses the knife; stops doing so when he spots Marissa staring at him wide-eyed.)

Marissa: ... (slowly backs away; quickly turns around and speed walks back inside)

Spencer: Yes, yes. Get away while you can! Your time will be soon! (engages in a series of high-pitched laughs)

(As Spencer continues to laugh all in his lonesome outside, Calvin, Hamilton, and Zane are at the doorway of the male's side of the Bass cabin, watching him in fear, concern and bewilderment.)

\---> Marissa: That's definitely one guy I don't want attention from. The rest I don't mind, but him? Sure, I've come across weirdos before, but that guy takes the cake.

\---> Spencer: She's just jealous of us. Isn't that right, Celia? (cuddles the knife. Yeah, this is weird. SCENE TRANSITION, PLEASE!)

{{===Main Lodge===}}

Chef: I don't care if you like my food or not! I serve this food three times a day and that means you'll be eating it THREE TIMES A DAY!

Charles: I'm positive we're all aware of--

Chef: QUIET, BOY! I wasn't done speaking! Don't have me catching you interrupting me again! All of you get a tray, get yo food and then sit yo pathetic butts down at a table. RIGHT NOW!

Kylie: (first in line, she holds up her tray) Ready.

Chef: You better be! (plops a scoop of a horrid "food" that's inexplicably hairy and possibly alive, onto Kylie's tray.)

Kylie: (slowly casts her eyes upon the monstrosity called "food" on her cafeteria tray) I've pulled off acts of phony appreciation and liking for other's cooking before, but there's no way I'd ever be able to convincingly do that with food like this. (heads on over to a table)

Wade: Hi there! Name's Wade. (Chef scoops and plops some of the gunk onto his tray) Did you know that Pterodactyls--

Chef: Next!

Wade: Um, e-excuse me, sir, I was trying to tell you about Pterodact--

Chef: I said MOVE IT! NEXT!

Wade: (frantically scurries to a table)

Rebecca: (to Nicki, who's behind her in line) I must say, he's unprofessionally loud.

Chef: What was that?!

Rebecca: Apologies, sir. I meant no offense by it.

Chef: Come closer! I don't think I heard you correctly!

Rebecca: (hesitantly walks over) Must you always shout?

Chef: EXCUSE ME?! (drops a scoop of gruel onto her tray; it splatters all over it)

Rebecca: ...Thank you serving me food, sir. (treks away from Chef)

Chef: That's what I thought, maggot.

Charles: (approaches the counter with his tray) I'm inclined to express my thoughts and opinions on this muck, but I'm aware of how that won't alter anything, therefore I will comply to having to live with the undesirable conditions of the food served to me.

Chef: You talk too much. Go sit down and use yo mouth for something else than talking for once.

Charles: I discern that and all, but it's only crucial that--

Chef: NOW! Don't make me hurt you!

Charles: (gets the hell away from Chef)

{{===Killer Bass Table===}}

Spencer: (spots his food wriggling around) And Spencer has found yet again another victim of prey! Haha! (starts stabbing the gruel with his knife)

(Everyone else at the Killer Bass table scoots away from Spencer. He doesn't notice and keeps on brutally assaulting the food.)

Amanda: (whines) With food like this, I'm going to starve! That buffoon of a chef doesn't actually expect me to consume and digest such gunk, does he?

Miguel: Yes. He actually does. Either eat it or don't. It's your downfall, not mine.

Theresa: Your downfall will instead be caused by your large ego.

Miguel: I have reasons to be cocky. You don't argue with success, and that's exactly what I am.

Theresa: What you are is arrogant and obnoxious. You sound like you truly believe you're above everybody else.

Zane: They say that those who argue with each other a lot actually deeply care for one another.

Theresa: Just when I thought I couldn't lose my appetite anymore than I've had already. BLECH!

Miguel: To be fair, Zane, we just met. I'd say that these arguments are just brewed up from misunderstandings and a certain someone lacking knowledge as to their true place in the world.

Theresa: Shut up already. You're so full of yourself!

Kylie: Only the first day and there's already tons of arguing and fighting. Can't get much better than that. (rolls eyes)

{{===Screaming Gopher Table===}}

Ron: (rapidly choking down his food)

Julie: Will somebody tell the idiot that, for the millionth time, this isn't a race? You know, before he ends up hurting himself?

Charles: Recalling how the other attempts at disclosing that to him failed, I infer that another time won't fluctuate the outcome.

June: Whoa snap! Look at him go! He's eating like a Naplak! (frowns) Which I have yet to catch still...

Nicki: (chanting at Ron) Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! (starts applauding)

Ron: (has finished off the entire bowl of gruel; raises arms in victory) And just like that, another race was claimed by the victor, Ron!

Julie: It wasn't a race! You were the only one idiotic enough to eat an entire bowl of that crap.

Ron: Shush them lips, lady! You're just envious that-- (Ron suddenly gags; he covers his mouth and rushes out of the building)

Chris: (walks in as Ron rushes past him) Watch it! (redirects his attention to the others; clears his throat) Campers, in one hour is your very first challenge. (turns around and jaunts out of the room) That'll be all for now.

(Everyone sits in silence. Nobody knows what to say. They all resume eating or just staring in horror at the gruel Chef made.)

June: (stands up and cups her mouth) I think this is the part where somebody asks about the challenge! (sits back down)

Hamilton: Calvin, thoughts on what our first challenge may be?

Calvin: No idea, dude. It'll probably be simple seeing how it is our first one.

{{===Giant Cliff===}}

(The camera dramatically pans out to display an entire, gigantic cliff. The contestants are all standing at the very top in their swimwear. They all peer down in total shock and fear at the water waiting down below. The steep cliff must be at least a thousand feet high.)

Calvin: Son of a BAGEL!


	2. Not So Happy Campers - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This resumes from the previous chapter, AKA episode one, "Not So Happy Campers - Part 1". In this episode, the campers have their first challenge, one of the teams win, and one of the teams lose and are faced with the consequence of sending home a teammate. Who'll be going home on Day One? Read to find out!

Chris: Previously on Total Drama Summer Camp...

(Flashbacks of scenes from the previous episode start appearing on screen, giving the audience a reminder as to what happened last time. That means you guys. You haven't forgotten what occurred last time already, have you?! If so, then thank the producers that we're doing this.)

Chris: Twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks of their summer here at Camp Wawanakwa, a run down, poorly sanitized, disgusting, summer camp. They now have to face the judgement of their peers.

{{===Ending of Last Episode===}}

Hamilton: Calvin, thoughts on what our first challenge may be?

Calvin: No idea, dude. It'll probably be simple seeing how it is our first one.

(The camera dramatically pans out to display an entire, gigantic cliff. The contestants are all standing at the very top in their swimwear. They all peer down in total shock and horror at the water waiting down below. The steep cliff must be at least a thousand feet high.)

Calvin: Son of a BAGEL!

(Total Drama Summer Camp theme song cues)

{{===Giant Cliff===}}

Chris: Today's challenge is a lot simpler than you think. Still tricky and difficult, but not entirely awful.

Kylie: I get the feeling that you're bluffing right now.

Chris: What? No, of course not. It's safe, trust me. The interns that tested this have proven that.

Miguel: They survived....riiiiiggghhhttt? (raises eyebrow)

Chris: Of course they did! (smiles)

(A close up of the ocean's water is displayed on-screen. A shoe is seen floating around in the water until a shark jumps out, gulps it down and then plunges back in.)

Chris: Anyways, this challenge consists of three parts. I'm sure your first task is quite obvious by now.

(It goes silent. Nothing but the sounds of random birds squawking and the water churning is heard. Chris sighs in disappointment.)

Chris: Your first task is to jump off this one-thousand foot high cliff down into the water below.

Cory: (pupils shrink; he expression reads pure horror) A th-thousand feet?!

Chris: Yes, one thousand feet.

Wade: (whistles) Wowzers. No dinosaurs were ever that tall.

Lina: (cowers even further away from the edge) N-no th-thanks...

Chris: Now, look down and you'll see two target areas. The massive, wider one is the target you do NOT want to land in. Trust me.

Marissa: Why's that?

Chris: The fact that you're asking that question Marissa has made me a currently happier man. You see, the water in that area has been inhabited with demented, man-eating sharks.

Amanda: (wide-eyed; jaw has dropped) You're joking.

Chris: Nope! (holds up a tape recorder; pushes a button and the tape plays; Billy May's voice is heard) "But wait! There's more!"

Calvin: Ahhhh, Billy Mays. What a great man. He sold all kind of things and he was good at it. I once bought a bottle of OxiClean along with a free, additional gallon of barbecue sauce from him. (wipes a single tear) Rest In Peace, Billy Mays.

Chris: (stands there in awkward silence) ....Moving on, along with sharks, there are also aggressive jellyfish and hungry, hungry piranhas. Did I mention that the piranhas are hungry?

Hamilton: Yes, three times now.

Chris: (ignores Hamilton) Luckily for you guys, the other target is a safe zone. That's your target, which is almost guaranteed to be free of any dangerous aquatic wildlife.

Rebecca: Almost guaranteed? As in you're not entirely sure? How incredibly irresponsible of you!

Chris: Thanks. I try. (flashes a smile; it twinkles) Right, so, for each member of your team that jumps and comes out alive, there'll be crates of supplies waiting for you on the beach. These crates contain materials that you will need for part two of the challenge.

Brooke: Which is...?

Chris: Building a hot tub! Team with the best one gets to celebrate with a rockin' hot tub party tonight!

Nicki: (attention is hooked; whips her head around) Party?!

Chris: Yup! A hot tub party! Unfortunately, the losers will not be having a party of any kind. Instead, they'll be sending somebody home. Killer Bass, you're up--

Spencer: AHHHHYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (runs and jumps off the cliff without any hesitation) 

Chris: ...first. Congrats Bass, you already have a point.

Miguel: You know, Theresa, if there's one thing that I'm perfect at, it's everything, which obviously includes jumping off cliffs.

Theresa: Is that supposed to tempt me? Seriously, you are so full of yourself, it's not even funny anymore.

Miguel: You're right. I was wrong to believe that you were one who can execute challenges, let alone overcome any obstacle. (smirks)

Theresa: (clenches fists; grits teeth)

\---> Theresa: Gah! I didn't want him to get to me, but he did. What's even worse is that he knows it. No turning back now.

Theresa: Fine! You're on. Come on, let's go. (goes in full sprint and jumps off)

Miguel: (runs and jumps off alongside her)

Chris: Two more points added to the board for the Bass.

Hamilton: (walks up to Samantha) Hey there. I know, you must be petrified, but I'm here to assure you that everything will be all right. 

Samantha: Yeaaahhh...no. Flirting, comforting me, and being some kind of Casanova is not going to get you anywhere. Sorry. (pushes Hamilton aside and rushes into a dive right off the cliff)

(The camera focuses on Hamilton, who is now hanging his head a little from being rejected. Zane is seen running in the background. He leaps off the cliff while yelling.)

Zane: I SHIP-- (falls) ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

Calvin: (approaches Hamilton) Oooooohhh, yeah, you just got turned down, dude. (pats Hamilton on the back) But then again, you can't expect a good outcome every time you flirt with some girl.

Hamilton: Yeah...I know.

Calvin: (beams) I know what will you make you feel better. (hands him a bottle of BBQ sauce)

Hamilton: (apathetically takes it) ...Thanks.

Calvin: No problem, man. Now c'mon. Let's jump. (He and Hamilton both plunge off the cliff together)

{{===Bottom of Cliff===}}

(The camera pans over to the right, revealing Spencer threatening two sharks, that attempted to attack him, with his knife.)

Spencer: No! Spencer will not meet the fate of a watery grave! (cackles maliciously) But there's a good chance you will if you try to kill him.

(Both Miguel and Theresa land and resurface. They both awkwardly stare at Spencer and the two sharks he's threatening. The two sharks are petrified.)

Theresa: Spencer! What are you doing?!

Spencer: Saving Spencer's life and Celia's!

(A shark suddenly launches out of the water at Miguel. Miguel screams, flinches, and waits for the worse. Samantha falls from the sky and lands on the shark, sending it back underwater.)

Zane: --ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! (SPLOOSH! He lands and then resurfaces. This spooks the shark even more, causing it to wildly swim away.)

Miguel: (opens his eyes) ...Huh? (looks around and shrugs; starts swimming) Must of swam off in fright because of me. (a bottle of barbecue sauce from up above comes down and bonks him on the head) Ow! (rubs head; looks above him) What the--(both Hamilton and Calvin plummet into the water)

Hamilton: (landed on Miguel; resurfaces) You know, overall, that wasn't so bad. The landing could of been better, though.

{{===Cliff Top==}}

Chris: That's six jumpers so far. Looking good so far, Bass.

Brooke: Only six?! We seriously need to work harder at achieving victory, people!

Amanda: And get my hair wet?! How absurd! Absolutely not!

Chris: You might just regret that decision. (cackles as he gives Amanda a chicken hat) For not jumping, you must wear that for the rest of the day. Enjoy -- I know I will. (cackles once more)

Amanda: (scowls) This is a crime against fashion!

Brooke: That's not what I meant when I said "work harder at achieving victory"! Not even close! (sighs; mutters) When you want something done right, you got to do it yourself. (charges and plummets off the cliff)

Chris: Another point for Bass. By the way, all non-jumpers can evacuate the clifftop by taking that route. (gestures with thumb towards a downwards escalator that runs from the top to the bottom of the cliff)

Amanda: An escalator? I was hoping that somebody such as moi would be carried away inside a chariot. (takes the escalator regardless)

Kylie: Why has every jumper so far sprinted and then jumped off? (eyes Marissa) Get what I mean? Like, not a single person just dropped off and or did so little as a hop off of the cliff.

Marissa: (blank stare) Right. Totally. No idea.

Kylie: Time to break that streak. (simply walks over to the edge and drops off of it)

Chris: Marissa, you're the last Bass remaining. What will it be? Jump...or no Jump?

Marissa: (incredibly unsure; she peers right over the edge in questioning) Wow...that's...um...yeah.

{{===Bottom of Cliff===}}

(SPLASH! Brooke missed the target. She surfaces, realizes that she missed and then swears. Chef drives up in the Loser Boat to pick her up. Just as she's about to climb aboard, something swims past and brushes against her legs.)

Brooke: Eugh! What was that?! (frantically looks around; panics)

(Something blasts out of the water and into the air. It's aiming for Brooke.)

Brooke: (screams)

???: BAHAHAHAHA! (It was Kylie all along) That was so worth it. That went a lot better than-- (breaks into laughter) I'm so sorry! I just had to! AHAHAHAHA! 

Brooke: (growls furiously) This isn't the time to goof off, Kylie! We're in the middle of a challenge! Like, hello?!

Kylie: Learn to lighten up. I was just practicing my acting as a shark. Not everything has to be serious.

Brooke: Um, yes or else we lose! (climbs onto the boat; Kylie joins her) Seriously, we have to work hard or else we'll be doomed! Your shark acting can wait. (Kylie rolls her eyes and shrugs her off)

Chef: Shut it, you two! I'd like to have some darn peace and quiet.

{{===Cliff Top===}}

\---> Marissa: I've got an image to keep intact. You know, looks aren't always so easy to come by. Too much effort and time goes into this makeup and hair. (seems indecisive) But I need to prove myself to my team that I'm not completely useless.

Marissa: I...I can't. (sigh) Sorry. (patiently awaits the placing of a chicken hat onto her head; uses the escalator afterwards)

\---> Marissa: So much for proving myself.

???: Marissa, wait! (runs up to her; Marissa comes to a halt and spins around)

Marissa: Huh? Nicki?

Nicki: Hey! Uh, I just wanted to tell you not to...uh...be so down about deciding not to jump. (scratches back of head) A lot of people find it intimidating and not jumping is normal and smart. (shyly smiles) I guess what I'm blabbering on about here is that I--erm, um, nobody thinks less of you for not jumping.

Marissa: Oh? (blinks) Thank you, Nicki. That's...very kind of you. (smiles) Thanks. (rides the escalator down the cliff)

Nicki: Yeah, 'course. No problem. (turns around and returns to her team; grins widely and fist pumps)

June: What was that all about?

Nicki: Oh! Uhh, y'know...just cheering her up. Nothing wrong with not jumping off of a cliff, am I right? 

June: Of course not! ...I do prefer the alternative, though. Not jumping is just too boring. (groans) Uggggghhhhh. Speaking of jumping, I want to right now. Can we get a move on, gramps?! (referring to Chris)

Chris: (glowers) Less talking, more listening. (silence) Thank you. Anyways, it's your turn, Screaming Gophers!

June: Yes! Finally! I've been waiting forever to have my turn! (whoops joyously as she plunges off the precipice)

Nicki: (laughs) Wait up for me! (follows suit)

Charles: (analyzing the situation at hand) In order to surpass the opposing team in points, the maximum amount of "chickens" we can sustain is one.

Ron: One?! That's the number that means first! That's my position! This is my race to win! (races off and plummets)

\---> Julie: Idiot.

Chris: (cackles in delight)

Julie: You're insane, McLean.

Lina: (giggles softly) That rhymed.

Julie: (rejoinders) Shut up.

Lina: (cowers and whimpers) Sorry...

Cory: (crosses arms; narrows eyes at Julie but says nothing)

Lou: You don't have to be so mean, ma'am.

Julie: ... (simply shoves Lou off the edge)

Lou: (screams as he plummets into the depths of the water)

Rebecca: No no no! This is all wrong! This is not how teamwork or cooperation work at all! I was envisioning this challenge going entirely different, obviously in a better light and with a higher functionality between team members. (sighs and shakes head) This'll have to do, I guess.

Charles: Not much more we can do here unless we manage to get along with one another and improve our teamwork.

Wade: (pops up on-screen) Guys! Did you know that, to date, Oxalaia is the largest spinosaur to be discovered in South America?

Everyone: .....

Julie: ... (pushes Wade off; he screams the entire way down)

Rebecca: (glares at Julie)

Julie: What? I'm getting us points, aren't I?

Rebecca: Yes, but that doesn't justify what you're doing! This is highly unprofessional of you.

Julie: Such a shame that I don't really care as to what you think.

Cory: Our team is so well-kept together. I mean, just look at all of the bonding going on here. (smirks)

Julie: (stern) Don't make me push you off as well.

Cory: Yeah, no thanks. I'll be taking my leave from this part of the challenge now. I'm awfully afraid of heights and I'd rather not get stung, bitten, or eaten. (Chris plops a chicken hat onto his head; leaves)

Julie: Anyone else here feeling like chickening out?

Lina: (trembling uncontrollably; slowly raises her hand)

Julie: Should of known. (hands on hips; shaking head slowly) Just leave already, Lina.

Lina: (squeaks; she wears the chicken hat and rides down the escalator)

Julie: (frustrated sigh) Anybody else?

Charles: ...I'm not really in favor of leaping off a--(is grabbed by Julie; she jumps off with him)

Julie: (angrily yelling all the way down)

Charles: (screaming for his life)

{{===Bottom of Cliff===}}

(After submerging into the water from their fall, both June and Nicki resurface. They smile widely at each other and then high five. They both redirect their attention to up above once they hear cheering.)

Ron: FIRST PLAAAAACCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (lands and resurfaces; cheers) Another race has been conquered by me!

Nicki: ...What race?

June: Yeah, what race? (eyes widen; she gasps) The race of collecting all of the Pokeymin?!

Ron: Say what now? (hears screaming) What's that?

Lou: NO NO NO NO NO! NOT THE WA--(smacks the water; frantically swims over to Ron and starts climbing all over him) KEEP ME OUT OF THE WATER!

Ron: Ah! Stop it! (repeatedly goes underwater due to Lou's weight) Stop climbing on me! (Lou continues to panic) STOP! Ow! That was my nose! (continues to shriek at Lou)

(June and Nicki just sit there, treading water and watching with delight and confusion in the very awkward atmosphere that the situation has provided.)

(Wade plummets and collides into Ron and Lou, causing them all to fall back in. Wade comes back up holding a jellyfish in his hands.) 

Wade: You're not a dinosaur. (is electrocuted; coughs up smoke) Sorry for the confusion... (slowly sinks)

June: (spots a few piranha swim by) GASP! (yes she literally said "gasp") A bunch of Starvanha! Go, Advanced Ball! (chucks a yellow spherical capsule with black stripes; it bonks and pisses off the piranhas) Whoops. I keep forgetting to damage them first. (sheepishly grins)

Lou: I've spent most of my life eating seafood. Never have I thought, until now, that they WOULD EAT ME! (hollers even more)

(At that exact moment, both Julie and Charles touch down into the ocean. All wildlife at and near the impact scatter around in bewilderment. Lou yelps from being startled.)

{{===Cliff Top===}}

Chris: Only two Gophers left to jump...or chicken out. Either one will do. Rebecca and Blackichan, you two have yet to complete part one of the challenge.

Rebecca: Thanks for pointing out the obvious, McLean. (turns to Blackichan) You've been oddly quiet, Tre--erm, Blackichan. Is everything alright?

Blackichan: Yeah, of course. All good here.

Rebecca: In that case, you may carry on with the challenge. Jumping off a cliff is such an unreasonable thing to do. Not to mention that the threatening aquatic wildlife lurking in the ocean below isn't really appealing. Also, our target is not aligned directly with the middle of the bigger target. It... (cringes) bugs me more than you could imagine.

Blackichan: (blank stare) ...Cool! See ya! (dives off)

Rebecca: Did he not at all care for what I just said? (a chicken hat is placed upon her head)

Chris: It doesn't matter because in the end, the Killer Bass have nine jumpers and two chickens. The Screaming Gophers ended up with eight jumpers and three chickens. Part one of the challenge has been claimed by the Bass, and as a reward, they get to use pull-carts for carrying their crates.

(The Killer Bass cheer and hurrah in victory. All the campers remaining in the water are picked up by Chef and the Loser Boat and are relocated to the beach where the others are awaiting for the next part of the challenge.)

{{===Beach - Killer Bass===}}

(The Killer Bass team is merrily trotting along the beach while pulling multiple pull-carts stocked with their supply crates. Some of them are pulling the carts along while others walk beside them.)

\---> Brooke: I needed to demonstrate to my lazy team that hard work pays off and that they need to try harder. So that's exactly what I did.

Brooke: (takes Calvin's pull-cart and pulls it along with her own pull-cart. She's basically pulling two loaded pull-carts at once) Be like me and put more effort into it! Seriously, you guys are soooo lazy! Get a move on! (starts jogging while stilling pulling the carts)

Calvin: Upside is that I no longer have to pull one of those. Downside is that she made me look so much more weaker than her and various others.

Amanda: To be fair, dear, you are quite frail and scrawny. (not pulling a cart; instead is using a lint roller to clean hairs off of her clothes)

Calvin: BARBECUE SAUCE! (throws a bottle of it at Amanda; the lid was loose and it opens; some of it splatters onto Amanda on impact)

Amanda: (gasps; shrieks loudly) MY CLOTHES! This'll stain for sure! CALVIN, YOU DUNCE! I...BWAAAAHHH!! (runs off in consternation)

Calvin: ...Whoops.

Brooke: That's what I was talking about, you guys! Stop goofing around and get to work! It'll pay off in the end!

Samantha: You know, yelling at us and complaining about our lack of work ethic is not going to motivate us.

Brooke: Well, I'm the leader of this team, so I know what I'm doing. I know what's best for you guys and our team and how to win.

Samantha: Leader of the team? Says who?!

Zane: Uh-oh, a fight is about to break out. Me no likey!

Brooke: (gets up in Samantha's face) Says ME!

Kylie: (eating popcorn; how she got a bag of it is anybody's guess) How can you not like arguments and fights? These are always entertaining to watch! 

Hamilton: (reaching for some popcorn) Right?! Chick fights are the best, too. (hand is slapped) OW!

Kylie: Hands off! Get your own popcorn! (Samantha and Brooke are now arguing in the background)

Hamilton: Sorry! You could of just warned me. (rubbing his hand) Where'd you get that popcorn from anyways?

Kylie: (points to a concession stand a little ways down the beach) Got it from there.

Hamilton: When did that get there? A better question is how did I not notice it?! We already passed it!

Kylie: (shrugs; offers her popcorn) Want some?

Hamilton: Yeah, thanks. (reaches for some; hand is smacked away again) Ow! I was only reaching for it because you offered me some!

Kylie: Yeah, I was joking around. (chew chew, munch munch) You seriously can't have any.

Hamilton: (sulks) I guess I'll pay the concession stand a visit later...

{{===Concession Stand===}}

Chef: (standing behind the counter; conversing with a customer) No! We only agreed to rehiring you, maggot! Not you AND your buddy. Better off that way, too. She's loonier than you are, kid.

Ben: But that's what makes her thrilling and awesome! In the name of cardboard, please rehire her! If you don't rehire both of us, then I refuse to work for this show anymore. I got people and a land of cardboard to rule and protect back home anyways!

Chef: Listen here, boy, and listen good. Even if I did want to rehire that hyper and quirky lady friend of yours, it wouldn't change a thing. It's not up to me to decide who's hired, fired, rehired or even re-fired. Chris decides all that. It's a miracle itself that he agreed to bring you back, so be grateful, maggot!

Ben: Then I'll use my impeccable skills to persuade him to rehire her as an intern. (puts on shades and smiles; the light is reflected off of his pearly whites and temporarily blind Chef for a moment)

Chef: Ahhh! My eyes! (rubs them and blinks repeatedly) Dang it, kid! Go bother Chris already! Leave me to my work. A line has formed and you're holding it up!

Ben: Chef, you're horrible at making excuses. (turns around and sees a big line of customers right behind him) Oh. You weren't kidding.

Chef: No, I wasn't. We'll talk about rehiring your friend later. For now, GET BACK TO WORK! (Ben sprints away; Chef turns to the next customer in line and sighs miserably) How may I help you?

Customer: You can help me by... (starts peeling off her face; it's one of those highly advanced makeup masks or whatever they're called; it reveals to be some other female) REHIRING ME! (slams a blueberry pie right into Chef's face and runs away giggling like a psychotic, school girl)

Chef: (swipes the pie off of his face; is furious) GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE RASCAL! (equips his "Super Soaker 5000" squirt gun and chases after her) I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!

{{===Beach - Screaming Gophers===}}

\---> Cory: The fact that my team lost the first part sucks. Why I didn't see it coming is a mystery to me. Tch, I'm already weighing my team down. (sighs)

Ron: (struggling to push a crate) Come on, guys! We gotta keep the lead! We're not losing this race to them fish!

Julie: We already are. They're way ahead of us. Makes sense considering how they have pull-carts from WINNING the first part. (glares at Rebecca, Cory and Lina)

Ron: WHAT?! They're ahead?! OF ME?! (suddenly starts pushing his crate at an incredibly high speed) I'll never lose a race! Y'all hear me?! NEVER!!! (disappears in the distance)

Rebecca: Ignoring that, I must address how you need to calm down and realize that we still have a chance.

Julie: We barely have a chance anymore! We're getting our behinds handed to us!

Charles: Allow me to remind you that the excellence of the hot tub is what establishes the triumphant side of this trial, not momentum.

Julie: You better be right about this.

{{===Beach - Killer Bass===}}

Kylie: (jaunting along as she devours more popcorn)

Hamilton: (keeps trying to steal some)

Kylie: (is constantly slapping his hands away effortlessly)

Hamilton: (gives up and pouts)

{{===Beach - Screaming Gophers===}}

Lina: (trips and falls)

Julie: (snickers and keeps on walking)

Lina: (sighs and grumbles)

Cory: (scowls at Julie before glancing over at Lina; grunts and continues moving along)

Lina: (gets back to her feet and brushes sand off of herself)

{{===Campgrounds - Killer Bass===}}

Brooke: (sweating heavily) See? We're here before the other team and with lots of time to spare. Like I said, the harder you work, the more it pays off.

Marissa: If hard work is going to make me sweat like how you are right now, I think I'll pass.

Amanda: Agreed, darling! I'd prefer to not sweat at all. My clothes are tainted enough as is. (glares at Calvin; he whistles innocently)

Brooke: Nobody asked you guys. (narrows eyes)

Miguel: I came here to win, not listen to losers like you argue. Now stop fighting and help me with getting these crates open, will ya?

Chris: Ahp ahp ahp! For this part of the challenge, you may only open the crates using your teeth. No hands, feet or anything else. Teeth and teeth only.

Samantha: What?! Why? I could just smash these open.

Chris: Yes, I know you could, but this twist just makes the challenge more difficult and entertaining to watch. (chuckles) You can thank me later. Or right now. Doesn't matter to me. (smiles)

Spencer: Enough talk! Spencer is ready for this. (rubs hands together) Eheheheheh...

{{===Beach - Screaming Gophers===}}

Lou: (leans down to investigate a crab he found)

Crab: (pinches Lou's nose and latches on)

Lou: (yelps and starts running around; flails his arms) AHHHH!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!!! (the crab is gripping tightly onto his nose; Lou can't fling it off)

Blackichan: (shakes head) Today is just not our day.

{{===Campgrounds - Killer Bass===}}

Spencer: Time to test out that technique Spencer's cousin taught Spencer. (bites down on one end of a rope attached to a crate; he tugs on it as hard as he can)

Theresa: There has to be a better way.

Samantha: Yeah, maybe. If you ever find one, be sure to let us know. I wouldn't worry if I were you, though. The nutty kid may be onto something.

Spencer: (tugs again; talking through clenched teeth) Spencer thinks he's getting this!

Brooke: (walks by) Good! More pulling, less talking.

Spencer: (viciously growls)

Brooke: (recoils) If you'd like, I mean. (nervously chuckles; backs away)

Spencer: (snorts and resumes tugging)

\---> Marissa: Time for me to work my magic.

Marissa: Hamilton... (approaches him; smooth talks) I'd appreciate if a big man like you could come and help me with opening my crate. (bats eyes) You'd do that, right?

Hamilton: (completely dumbfounded) Uhhh....

Marissa: Pleaseee? (more eye batting)

\---> Hamilton: Usually, I'm the one who flirts, but now that I'm being the one flirted to, I'm just baffled and my brain has no idea as to what to do. (scratches head)

Hamilton: ...Sure? (follows Marissa)

{{===Campgrounds - Screaming Gophers===}}

Blackichan: We have finally arrived, people!

Julie: It'd be smart if we started opening our crates now.

Rebecca: Agreed. Come on, team! Let's get to work and break apart these crates!

Charles: (watches the other team) It appears that we must resort to utilizing our teeth to open them.

Ron: That'll take forever, y'all! We need to slow down the other team before they get first place!

June: Oh! Oh! I know! I'll distract them! (gallops over to the Bass)

Blackichan: Wait, June! (She's already gone) Maannnn, how the hell are we gonna do this?

Charles: With our teeth. I'm entirely positive that I just established this.

Blackichan: No, I know that part, but I mean...how?! It's gonna be difficult as all heck.

Cory: Giving up is still an option.

Rebecca: (quips) Absolutely not!

Cory: I was just kidding. Yeesh!

Rebecca: This is not the time to kid around. We need to be more serious and professional when we are doing challenges. As team leader, I say to start trying to open these crates RIGHT NOW. (all the Screaming Gophers members get to work)

\---> Julie: Originally, I was planning on fighting for the spot of team leader, but why do that when everybody will quickly find Rebecca hard to withstand? It won't be long before everyone wants her gone. The work is practically being done for me! (smirks)

{{===Campgrounds - Killer Bass===}}

(Hamilton has finished helping Marissa open a second crate. The word "help" is being used loosely here because Hamilton ended up doing most of the work.) Whew! Done with that one as well. (wipes sweat off brow)

Marissa: Thank you so much, Hamilton. I really appreciate it.

Hamilton: Y-you're welcome. Anytime.

\---> Hamilton: It is so weird to be the one who is flirted to for once. I feel warm and tingly inside. Is that natural?

Spencer: Yes! Haha! Spencer got it! (pulls one last time on the rope with his teeth; the box collapses and its contents spill out) Spencer's cousin wasn't joking! It does work! She sure knows how to open a wooden crate. (cackles)

Brooke: Keep this up and the Gophers will never catch up with us.

Kylie: Be careful when you say things like that. Fate tends to enjoy turning the tables on one's expectations. Basically, it loves irony.

Brooke: Whatever. We'll win regardless. As the true team leader, I can guarantee a victory. Our hot tub is going to make their hot tub look like shi--(SMACK! Brooke is nailed in the head by a familiar spherical capsule that's half red and white.) HEY! Who threw that?!

Kylie: Did you seriously just ask that? There's only one person here who throws those, let alone have them in their possession.

June: Which is I! You shall surrender to the forces of the Dorama region! (starts chucking an endless amount of the same spherical capsules, but with various different designs and colors, at the Killer Bass.)

Miguel: (successfully dodges all of them) Did you seriously believe that you'd be able to hit me in a game of dodgeball? Ha! (gets too caught up in the moment; is hit in the right eye) Ahhh! !Ay caramba, mi ojo!

June: Feel the wrath of my Pokeyballs! ...Wow, that sounded a lot better in my head. But who cares?! (hysterically laughs)

Kylie: (shielding self with planks of wood) At least the spherical capsules have a name now!

Blackichan: (sprints over to June) What are you doing?! I thought you said you would distract them!

June: But I am distracting them.

Blackichan: This isn't distracting them, this is ambushing them with Pokeyballs!

June: I'm not ambushing them. (chucks another Pokeyball; bonks Hamilton between the eyes)

Hamilton: (in the background) Ow! What the hell?!

Blackichan: ...You're pelting the entire team with plastic toy balls.

June: ... (snickers)

Blackichan: (snickers as well) Okay, yeah, that was a little funny.

Rebecca: YOU TWO need to stop lollygagging and help YOUR team with building the hot tub! (grabs them both by the back of their collars and starts dragging them back)

June: WHEEEEEE!!

Rebecca: Blackichan, I entrusted you to fetch June and return to us with her.

Blackichan: I was going to but then you came over only after like two minutes passed.

Rebecca: Enough excuses. Forget about it and just partake in building the hot tub, please. (drags them back to the rest of the team)

(The Killer Bass, who are no longer hiding or shielding themselves from the Pokeyball attacks, watch as the three Gophers return to their other team members. The Bass look at each other in disorientation. They all shrug it off and go back to work.)

{{===Campgrounds===}}

(Tons of time has passed and both hot tubs are complete and ready to be judged. Both of them look fully functional and absolutely spectacular. In both hot tubs, the water is bubbling and is steaming hot. One has wooden steps as a way to get in while the other one has a wooden step ladder. A half of each team appears skittish while the other half is confident and satisfied. Chris is standing there, ready to initiate the judging of the hot tubs' quality.)

Chris: Alright, campers, building time is over. No more assembling because it is now time for judging.

Kylie: Isn't that obvious? It was just explained within the parentheses right before you started talking.

Chris: Could we please hold back on all forms of fourth wall breaking? Thanks. Okay, Killer Bass's hot tub is up fir--

(Chris is abruptly interrupted by some high-pitched laughter and screeching. That girl that smothered Chef's face with a pie earlier runs by and maneuvers around the Screaming Gophers's hot tub. I'd put time and effort into describing her, but I suck at describing things so screw it. I'm relying on all or most of my readers to know who this character is. If not, well, you're out of luck.) 

Chef: GET BACK HERE! (is hot on her trail; fires at the girl right as she moves around the SG's hot tub)

(Due to how powerful Chef's "Super Soaker 5000" squirt gun's blast is, it bursts right through the hot tub, obliterating it to shards of wood and nails. It completely misses the girl that Chef was aiming at. The Screaming Gophers watch in terror as their hot tub, made with tons of hard work and effort, is demolished and then trampled on by a rampaging Chef Hatchet. Awkward silence ensues afterwards. Chris stares blankly at the destruction.)

Chris: (long silence) ...The Killer Bass win!

Killer Bass: (cheer and celebrate)

Screaming Gophers: (wide-eyed; in disbelief; mouths agape)

Chris: Tough luck, Gophers. I'll be seeing you guys tonight at the bonfire ceremony. The Bass on the other hand will be having a wicked party tonight! As a bonus, you guys to keep your hot tub for the rest of your time here!

Killer Bass: (ever more cheering, celebrating and other audible positive stuff)

Nicki: (looks absolutely devastated) ...No party? :c

{{===Main Lodge===}}

(Both teams are gathered at their respective tables, mingling and trying to eat their "dinner". Chef is not currently present in the room. His abrupt and sudden departure seems to have capture the attention and interest of some of the Bass members. For the Gophers, the only subject is evidently who deserves to go.)

{{===Killer Bass Table===}}

Amanda: I must say, Chef was in a real hurry to get out of here once he was done serving his...erm, gruel to us.

Theresa: Probably to go chase that one girl again.

Samantha: That or he just hates us.

Zane: Oh, Samantha, you silly! I'm sure good ol' Chef doesn't hate any of us!

Hamilton: Whether he does or not, it wouldn't make him leave. It's definitely that one girl he was chasing down.

Marissa: What do you think it was about?

Brooke: Who cares?

Miguel: (ignores Brooke) Whatever it was, Chef was surely pissed about it and it got him to destroy the other team's hot tub on accident. Nothing better than a simple win.

{{===Screaming Gophers Table===}}

Rebecca: We must delve into the discussion of who deserves to go.

Charles: Yes, inquiring this conversation is a must.

Lou: After what happened to our hot tub, it's hard to say that anybody on our team deserves to leave.

Julie: Too bad neither Chef and or that one hair-dying, hyperactive chick aren't on our team. I'd enjoy voting one of them off. Heck, both of them getting voted off would please me.

June: I don't know, I thought that one chick was pretty neat. I'd go as far to say she seems as cool as a Flammadillo!

Ron: A whata-dillo?

Wade: It's a Pokeymin.

June: Seriously, just how many of you guys do not know about Pokeymin?!

(Everybody at the table raises their hand except for Cory, Blackichan, Wade, June, Nicki and Lina.)

Rebecca: Enough! We're getting sidetracked here.

Wade: Did you know that the first bones of a Triceratops were believed to be those of a bison?

Charles: (scowls) Wade...no offense, but that piece of trivia is regarded as an underlying minutiae. (stands up) I think I've depleted enough of Chef's non-pabulum cooking for tonight.

(As Wade sulks, everybody else decides to disband from the table as well and head to the cabins for the time being.)

{{===Bonfire Ceremony===}}

Chris: Killer Bass, it wasn't even your faults but yet you're all here anyways. Welcome to your first bonfire ceremony which is also the first bonfire ceremony ever.

Charles: Obviously.

Chris: (shuns Charles) At most camps, marshmallows are known to be as tasty treats that you roast at a bonfire. However, here at Camp Wawanakwa, they are symbolic and represent whether or not you're safe to stay for another day. Now, you've all validated your choices and voted. On this plate here are ten marshmallows. If your name is called, come up and claim a marshmallow. The one camper who doesn't receive a marshmallow must leave by returning to the Dock of Shame and then boarding the Boat of Losers. This means that you have been voted out of the contest and that you can't EVER come back. EVER.

June: Never?!

Chris: Never.

June: Never ever?!

Chris: (incensed) YES, June. Never ever.

Nicki: That's a long time.

June: I know, right?!

Julie: (facepalms and slowly shakes her head)

Chris: Back on track, the first marshmallow goes to...Rebecca.

Rebecca: Wondrous. (walks up and gets marshmallow)

Chris: Charles.

Charles: Only makes sense. (goes and claims his marshmallow)

Chris: June.

June: Yes! Advanced Four, here I come! (runs up and devours her marshmallow)

Chris: Blackichan.

Blackichan: (grins; goes up and gets a marshmallow)

Chris: Lou.

Lou: (wipes brow and follows suit)

Chris: Julie.

Julie: (smirks and power walks over there)

Chris: Nicki.

Nicki: Awwww, yeah! The party keeps rocking on! (joyously claims her marshmallow)

Chris: Ron.

Ron: (takes his marshmallow) First marshmallow, first place!

Julie: You're delusional.

Chris: Down to three campers and two marshmallows.

(Lina's all shivery and jittery as she sits there on her tree stump. Wade is wide-eyed and staring longingly at the two last marshmallows on the platter. Cory seems to be a blend of gloomy, worried, and disappointed.)

Chris: ....Lina.

Lina: (beams; cheerfully saunters over to her marshmallow)

Chris: Campers, what I have here on this plate is the final marshmallow of the evening. It's come down to Cory and Wade.

(That dramatic campfire music we all know and love cues. Both Wade and Cory are on the edge of their seats, anxiously staring at the final marshmallow in anticipation.)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Cory. 

Cory: (mouth's agape; in total shock, he gets up and gently takes the final marshmallow)

Blackichan: (wipes off his brow in relief)

Chris: Honestly, I'm not shocked by this. Not even remotely close. All you did was tell trivia about dinosaurs, dude.

Wade: I was just trying to help everybody learn something cool every once in a while!

Chris: And look where that got ya. Dock of Shame is (points behind him) that way, bro.

Wade: (sighs; sluggishly rises up from his seat and shambles his way down the dock; is greeted by Chef and the Boat of Losers at the end of the dock)

Charles: (arms crossed; smirking)

Chris: The rest of you are safe for tonight. Enjoy your marshmallows.

\---> Cory: ...Did that seriously just happen? Did I seriously NOT get voted off? ...Huh. I figured I'd be the first one out. 

{{===Campgrounds - Killer Bass===}}

(The entire Killer Bass team are all in their hot tub, having a great time and enjoying the celebration party. They have a boombox nearby, turned up loudly so they can fully enjoy rocking out to their jams and tunes. It appears that the Killer Bass have two guests in the hot tub with them. It's Ben and the girl from earlier that Chef chased. The two high-five and then serve slices of pie to themselves and to the members of the team.)

Ben: Krystal, this party's awesome! It's just so full of...

Krystal: Yas?

Ben: Yas!

Chef: THERE YOU ARE! (runs out with a paintball gun; starts firing at Krystal, Ben, The Killer Bass, and the hot tub itself.) You will pay for disrespecting me earlier, you maggot!

Krystal: NOPE! (leaps out of the pool and takes off)

Ben: (jumps out and lands with a ninja roll; follows Krystal)

Chef: (follows suit) GET BACK HERE!

~~~END~~~


	3. The Big Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The campers have quite a day in store for them in this episode! Little do they know of the agony they're about to endure. After running twenty kilometers and settling down afterwards with a great, big feast, the contestants will find themselves stunned and possibly pissed at the revelation of none of it being their challenge! Instead, the true challenge is an Awake-A-Thon, where one will win by simply being the last one awake. Who'll be going home this time? Read on to find out!

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Summer Camp, twenty-two campers arrived to the island and learned that Camp Wawanakwa will be their home for the next eight weeks. The contestants were then introduced to their first challenge -- jumping off a one-thousand foot high cliff into the waters below that "happened" to be infested by man-eating sharks, aggressive jellyfish, and hungry, hungry piranhas. (cackles) Man, I love my job.

(More flashbacks of the previous two episodes play on-screen. Most of the campers are seen jumping off the cliff while some refused or were just too frightened to do so.)

Chris: Anyways, most of them jumped, but some cowered their way out of it and had no choice but to wear a chicken hat for the rest of the day. At the bonfire ceremony, it came down to two campers. Cory, the gloomy pessimist who didn't jump, and Wade, the annoying blonde kid who told everybody trivia about dinosaurs. ...Really? In the end, the first one to get booted off of Total Drama Summer Camp was Wade. I guess you could say it was "ptero-ble" for him. (laughs out loud) Get it? Pterodactyl and terrible? "Pteroble" instead of terrible!

(Chef is seen in the background, tossing trash bags into a dumpster. He happened to hear Chris's joke and he rolls his eyes.)

Chef: Ugh. (shakes his head in disapproval at Chris) If anything's "pteroble", its your joke.

Chris: You know Chef, I bet you'd appreciate my jokes more often if you had a better sense of humor.

Camera Guy: (clears throat loudly)

Chris: Oh, right! Who'll be the next one to leave? Tune in to see tonight's bonfire ceremony to find out, right here on -- Total Drama Summer Camp!

Chef: (heard grumbling in the background)

(Total Drama Summer Camp theme song cues)

{{===Female Gophers Cabin===}}

(The camera slowly zooms in on the digital clock engraved in the front of Nicki's loudspeaker. The time reads 6:59 AM. After several seconds of zooming in even farther, a small dial atop the loudspeaker is spotted. Numbers one through eleven surround the dial in a circular motion. Each number is directly above a mark. The dial is currently pointed at the tenth mark. The clock suddenly ticks and changes to 7:00 AM. Immediately, deafening dubstep blares from the loudspeaker.)

(Everybody on campus is easily awoken by this. They all cover their ears as they scream and panic. Meanwhile, Nicki calmly trots over to the loudspeaker and stops the alarm by smacking a button. She stretches her arms, yawns loudly, and smacks her lips a few times as she scratches her thigh. Nonchalantly, she gazes around at her fellow cabin mates to see most of them boiling with fury.)

Nicki: ...What up?

Lina: (hiding under one of the bunk beds; shaking tremendously) So...loud... (squeaks)

Rebecca: (hollers) Could you be any more incompetent with understanding what the problem is here?! Alarm clocks have no need to be so rambunctious! This is so irresponsible and inconsiderate of you!

June: (butts in) Guys, come on, be easy on her. We all make mistakes, right?

Julie: (folds her arms; scoffs) Sure, but it doesn't take a genius to know that nobody should ever use a loudspeaker as an alarm clock.

Nicki: Sorry about that. I didn't realize it was that loud. (awkwardly scratches back of head)

Rebecca: You had no idea?! Have you gone deaf?!

Nicki: (not paying attention) ...Huh? Oh, uh, no. No I have not.

Rebecca: (facepalms)

Julie: Just make sure that it never happens again, okay? If it does, that loudspeaker is getting thrown out of the cabin!

Nicki: Sheesh, sorry. (frowns as Julie and Rebecca go get ready for the day)

June: (looks at Nicki in concern)

Lina: (crawls out from under the bunk bed and wanders off somewhere; Nicki and June just stare awkwardly)

{{===Campgrounds===}}

(Everybody is now outside, buzzing about the incident earlier that morning with Nicki's "alarm clock". Nicki has relocated herself a good distance away from everybody else. She sulks as waves of guilt continue to wash over her. June approaches her.)

June: Hey, Nicki. (small wave)

Nicki: (peers up at June; stares back down at the dirt)

June: Nicki, come on gurl! Don't let what happened get to ya. You weren't trying to bother anybody. It's just a piece of your lifestyle back home, right?

Nicki: ....

June: Right! You're used to waking up in the morning to that, right? That's what I'm assuming. Anyways, you tried doing the same here, right?

Nicki: ...Yeah. I'm not entirely fazed by how the others reacted. Reminds me of my roommate back home.

June: Whoa, what? Roommate?! Now I'm curious! Tell me! Tell me!

Nicki: She's basically a foreign exchange student at my school. My family took her in as her foster family while she's away from Europe. She's real uptight, though. Has no real taste in music. She likes that classical stuff.

June: Ewww! Classical! (face scrunches up)

Nicki: (chippers up) I know, right?!

June: (chuckles) Yeah! (pauses for a moment) I doubt she's that bad, though. Where in Europe is she from?

Nicki: United Kingdom.

June: ("Oohs" and "aahs") She sounds exciting already!

Nicki: (blank stare) That's a word I never imagined being used to describe her.

June: (tilts head) Why you say that?

Nicki: Like I said; uptight. She's all about being safe and calm and proper and polite and all that other junk. I try to get her to realize that life is a party and having fun all the time and taking risks is what living is all about. But noooo, she's such a party pooper instead. Such a killjoy.

June: Do you guys at least get along?

Nicki: ...Erm, yeeeeaaaaaah. Sometimes. We're friends and all, but we're hardly ever on the same page. (short pause) But y'know, now that I think about it, you're kinda right.

June: Right about what?

Nicki: About her not being so bad. To be honest, she's kinda attra--

Chris: (comes to a stop in front of the campers on his four-wheeler) Hi campers! Hope I didn't interrupt any serious bonding or screen absorption of yours because it is challenge time!

Miguel: Screen-what?

Chris: Forget it, Miguel. Let's focus on what's really important; the challenge! (sees Rebecca's hand raised) Yes, Rebecca?

Rebecca: Pardon me for the interruption Chris, but when will we be served breakfast?

Chris: Breakfast? Oh, you'll be having that soon -- right after you guys run twenty kilometers around the lake!

Ron: (gasps loudly) Like a race?!

Chris: Not exactly... (sees Ron with a goofy-ass smile) ...Sure. Yes, a race.

Ron: Woohoo! (sprints away)

Chris: Ron, wait! The challenge hasn't even sta--oh forget it.

Cory: Know what I have to say to this challenge? Hell no. I'm not doing this.

Chris: Know what I have to say to your comment? Too bad and yes you are.

Samantha: Come on, you pansies! All we have to do is run! This is the easiest challenge YET!

\---> Kylie: Samantha has a point, but pretending to enjoy running is one thing I can't act out.

Chris: Will you guys just run already if I mention there being a reward afterwards?

Everyone: REWARD?!//Heck yeah!//Bring it on!//I hope it's food!//Let's just get this over with.

(All at once, everybody takes off. Five minutes pass, and as Cory and Blackichan run, staying on path with the others, they are unexpectedly grabbed and yanked into the foliage alongside the trail. Their yells and screams are muffled. They are repeatedly hushed, and upon seeing the three who did this, they calm down. Their mouths are uncovered after settling down.)

Blackichan: Zane?! Calvin?! Hamilton?! What the hell! Why aren't you guys running with the others?

Cory: Yeah, what he said! What is this all about anyways?

Hamilton: (harshly whispering) Quiet yourselves! We've decided to offer you both a proposal.

Blackichan: (skeptical) And just what might that be?

Zane: (pipes up enthusiastically) How would you two like to join us three in a...

Calvin: MEATBALL! (smiles widely)

Blackichan: ....

Cory: ....

Hamilton: (groans; facepalms) Calvin meant an alliance. Would you two like to join us in an alliance?

Calvin: Before deciding, just think of it, guys -- we five know each other. We have a stronger bond than anybody else here so far. We have an advantage over the others! That's why this alliance is almost as good as BARBECUE SAUCE!

Blackichan: Yo, dude, doesn't that just make us even bigger targets than before?

Zane: Not if nobody knows. (smiles sweetly)

Cory: I'm sure it's pretty obvious to anybody smart enough to figure it out.

Hamilton: (rubs chin while pondering) Fair point. True, true. ...I say we give this alliance a chance anyways. How bad could it go?

(From out of the blue, some slovenly-haired blonde teen with a teal t-shirt, a grey jacket thrown over it, and bluejeans strides into view. In his hand, he carries a Styrofoam coffee cup. He casually sips from it and then sneaks up on the five, startling them.)

???: You'll regret saying that. Trust me, whenever somebody says that, it's guaranteed to not go well. A real case of foreshadowing right there.

(A major awkward silence befalls upon the six. Cory abruptly interrupts it with an awkward greeting to the stranger who sneaked up on them like a weirdo. No offense.)

???: None taken.

Cory: ... (waves at him) Hi, Oliver.

Oliver: (glances at Cory) Yes, hi. (looks back at Hamilton) You just doomed yourself and your alliance members.

Hamilton: What? How? Why are you here?!

Oliver: You just pulled a "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?". That's how. Also, I'm here simply because I can be and choose to be. That and the author decided this would be a good time to implement another cameo into another episode. (takes long one long sip of his coffee) Any more questions?

Blackichan: ... (raises hand)

Oliver: (ignores it) Alright, good. And yes, I'm an intern. Farewell for now. (takes another sip and then nonchalantly walks away)

(The five friends are left there in awkward silence, not actually sure of what to make of what just occurred. Zane slowly turns his gaze over at Cory and smiles largely.)

Cory: (eyes Zane back) What? (realization) NO. Don't you even DARE get that idea. We've been over this, Zane! You know how I feel about you doing stuff like that!

Zane: (tranquilly fishes out a folded-up piece of paper from his pocket and unfolds it) Aw, come on! Just think about it! You two would be soooooo adorable! (retrieves a pen from a separate pocket and starts writing on the list) I don't know why I didn't write this one down sooner. I've been a fan of it for awhile now.

Blackichan: (directed at Cory) Is that his shipping list?

Cory: (groans) Yes...

Zane: It's coming back! I'm bringing the ship back!

Cory: No, please, just stop. Stop teasing the audience like this. You know how they like to poke fun about this kind of stuff!

Zane: (brushes off Cory's comments) And there! Coroliver -- FOR THE WIN. (draws a heart next to it)

Cory: I hate you.

Calvin: Can we move on to the next scene, please? We've absorbed enough screen time and BAGELS in this episode so far as is.

Hamilton: (grunts in irritation) Would you quit it with the fourth-wall breaking stuff?

Zane: YAY FOR SHIPPING!

Hamilton: (throws his arms up into the air) What is even going on anymore?!

{{===Twenty-Kilometer Run===}}

(The scene transitions to the rest of the campers, who are all currently trying to finish the run. While the majority of them sprint, others decide to walk instead. One particular camper is even being carried.)

Amanda: (is being hauled around in Lou's arms) I cannot express my gratitude to you enough for carrying me, dear.

(Lou is struggling to catch his breath as he jogs and carries Amanda simultaneously. He periodically pants, trying his best to arrive at the Dining Hall before possibly collapsing or passing out.)

Lou: No problem (pant) madam.

Amanda: (suddenly revolted) Lou, dear, no offense to you, but you are getting real sweaty! I ask to be put down at once, please.

Lou: Oh sorry! (halts) Alright, I'll set you do--

Amanda: On second thought, don't. I wish to not collect any dirt or grime on my shoes. You can resume carrying me, good sir.

Lou: (pauses for a moment; inhales deeply) ...Alright. As you wish, m'lady. (readjusts grasp on Amanda before resuming)

\---> Lou: To those watching at home, it may seem that I have it bad, but I honestly don't. Carrying around a teenage woman while trying to complete a twenty-kilometer run isn't the easiest thing to do...or the funnest. However, in the end, all that matters is that a true lady like Amanda is treated right and the way most women should be. As my uncle used to say, a true gentleman always treats a lady right! (ponders for a moment) Wait, did he used to say that? Or was that something my great grandfather used to say? Maybe I heard it from a show on TV? (continues pondering)

(The camera quickly switches to an over-world view of the twenty-kilometer trail around the lake that the contestants are trekking on. Ron darts past, trying his damnest to win this nonexistent race. Abruptly, he trips and falls flat on his face. He hops back onto his feet, acting like it didn't happen. With another burst of energy, he resumes galloping down the pathway.)

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Brooke: (ahead of most of the team; pacing herself as she sprints) Come on, people! If you wanna achieve victory, you gotta WORK at it! You gotta EARN it! Stop being slack offs and actually try to contribute for once!

Theresa: We are contributing! We are trying!

Brooke: Um, doesn't look like it. If you really are, then you really gotta do better than that!

Kylie: We would if you motivated us instead of bossing us around all day!

Brooke: (stops dead in her tracks) Excuse ME for doing my job as team leader! (starts poking Kylie) Think you can do any better? If you do, then you are sooo wrong! I'm the best hope this team has! Without me, this team will deteriorate!

Samantha: (pushes Kylie out of the way; stands up to Brooke) If anyone deserves to be team leader, it's somebody strong, reliable, and inspirational. You're none of those! I possess those three traits and that's why I deserve the role of leadership. Not a pushy worm like you!

Brooke: You think so, huh?! (up in Samantha's face; nose to nose) To be honest, what you think DOESN'T MATTER! You're unworthy of a leadership role and a poll will prove it! (turns to rest of team) Killer Bass, listen up! If you think I should be leader, raise your--wait a minute, where's the rest of our team?!

(Besides Brooke and Samantha, all that's there is Kylie, Marissa, Theresa, and Miguel. The rest of the team, which is Amanda, Hamilton, Spencer, Calvin, and Zane, are not to be found. Brooke and Samantha have subsided their argument for the moment as they stare in total shock and confusion, just speechless from the sudden disappearance of half their team.)

Samantha: (clenches fists) GREAT! Half of our team is gone! You repelled them away, Brooke! Nice going!

Brooke: Me?! It was you who caused them to disappear!

(The two start bickering once more as the other four Killer Bass representatives present stand around, clearly annoyed and tired of all this. They shake their heads, facepalm, scoff and even snicker. They decide to continue perambulating.)

{{===Dining Hall===}}

(Numerous campers are already inside, sitting down at the tables, standing, or even lying on the floor as they try to collect their breath. All they can do for now is wait for the others of their teams to make it back before the rest of the other team does.)

\---> Julie: (riled up) This team of mine is beyond pathetic. My teammates are horrible and overly mislead. (takes a breather) Not to complain, because Rebecca's downfall is soon to come. Then, my team's true leader will rise. (crosses arms; is smug)

Rebecca: (approaches Julie) Would you happen to know Ron's location as of right now? Not long ago, I spotted him in here. He seemed to vanish as soon as he arrived here. (glances around the room)

Julie: No idea and I don't really care. Ask somebody else.

Rebecca: (inhales) ...Very well. (hesitantly) Thanks for your assistance. (walks away)

Julie: (gives her the stink eye as she jaunts away)

\---> Rebecca: I do not enjoy nor appreciate the vibes that Julie has been emitting as of late. Her attitude needs a major turnaround as well does her lack of cooperation with fellow teammates.

Charles: (eyes Rebecca coming his way) If you're inquisitive as to Ron's whereabouts, you'll espy him lapping around the Dining Hall, eulogizing himself on his non-existent race triumph.

Rebecca: Figures. Thanks for the info, Charles. (peeks out the doorway) Ron, please return to the interior of the building! There's no need for more running or any physical activity of any kind.

Ron: I'm on fire! I'm on ah roll and you ain't stopping me from celebrating my victo--(trips; faceplants into the dirt)

Rebecca: (facepalms; sighs) Ron, just come inside before you excel in humiliating yourself even further.

Ron: (muffled) Yes, ma'am. (pulls himself up and follows Rebecca inside)

\---> Ron: I may have made ah fool of myself, but that ain't matter 'cause I won the race. My team ought ah be proud of me. (grins largely)

\---> Rebecca: I question the intelligence and mentality of the majority of my teammates. At least we were lucky enough to get Charles or else we'd be inevitably doomed. Competitors alike Wade and Ron would be this team's downfall, as well as their own. Morons don't belong in competitions like these. Please be aware that I'm just being honest. Not my fault that the truth hurts.

\---> Oliver: (quaffs long gulps of coffee; pauses) ... (smacks lips a few times; resumes guzzling down coffee)

(The people who are currently present in the Dining Hall are Ron, Rebecca, Charles, Julie, Lina, Blackichan, Hamilton, Marissa, Kylie, Miguel, Theresa, Spencer, and Zane. As previously mentioned, they all await the rest of their members, hoping to win the challenge.)

Cory: (rushes inside; falls over onto his back as soon as he enters) I HATE RUNNING!

Calvin: (walks in) And running (pant) hates you, too. (collapses as well)

(Blackichan, Hamilton, and Zane approach their exhausted friends laid out on the ground. They give them a hand, pulling them up onto their feet. They end up chatting away, particularly about what took them so long and such.)

Charles: (gazes at his team members present) According to my calculations, both teams have three members still running about.

Ron: Sounds like it may be ah close one.

Rebecca: They better get here first. Losing this challenge is a long way off from acceptable. (keenly stares at the doorway)

{{===Twenty-Kilometer Trail===}}

June: (sprinting; Nicki sprints by her side) Darn it! The Squirrod must of gotten away!

Nicki: The what?

June: The Squirrod! Y'know, the thing we've been chasing for the past ten minutes!

Nicki: You mean the squirrel?

June: (screeches) IT'S CALLED A SQUIRROD!

Nicki: (recoils) Right, okay, yeah, the Squirrod. I meant Squirrod.

June: (pleasantly smiles before sprinting faster)

\---> Nicki: This June chick really gets aggressive over Pokeymin sometimes. Kinda scary. (scratches back of her neck)

{{===Dining Hall===}}

(Chris is now standing in the Dining Hall with those who already arrived, awaiting those who still haven't. He's passing the time by checking himself out in a pocket mirror.)

Lou: (knees are shaking staggeringly; he wheezes as he carries Amanda in) We're (wheeze) here (wheeze) m'lady.

Amanda: Wondrous! Set me down, please.

Lou: (gently sets her down on her feet; wobbles) There you go... (sounds hoarse)

Amanda: Oh, thank you very much, darling! You did amazing. Such a performance deserves a--

Lou: (stumbles and falls face first into the floor)

Amanda: ...We'll talk later, darling. (struts away; walks past Hamilton)

Hamilton: (flabbergasted) Why was he carrying you!? Better question; why did you let him?! Why were you two with each other to begin with?! Separate teams are a thing that exists, remember?

Amanda: Simmer down, Mr. Hamilton. The dear was just being chivalrous and wanted to help a lady out. Nothing wrong with helping somebody, teams or not, right?

Hamilton: (hesitates) I...guess not. Right, okay. This better not be a thing or some kind of alliance between you two. Separate teams, remember?

Amanda: I know, darling, I know. (rolls eyes) Betraying my own team is not something I'd ever intend to do. (begins applying make-up to herself)

Hamilton: (glances at her one final time before returning to a convo with his close friends)

\---> Hamilton: Going to have to keep an eye out on those two. Teams exist for a reason and they need to keep their loyalty for said team intact. Otherwise, they'll be in deep shit and eliminated soon afterwards. Trust is a given in these kind of shows and going against it would not be wise.

(June and Nicki, from out of nowhere, sprint in, chasing after a squirrel. The squirrel crawls onto the top of a table, sitting upright and staring directly at June. June retrieves a Pokeyball from who knows where, aims, and launches it at the squirrel.)

June: Yeah, you're mine, ya darn Squirrod!

Squirrel: (simply jumps off table and scampers out the building)

Cory: (laying on floor; sits up) What's going on? (SMACK!) Yowch!

(As soon as he sat up, the Pokeyball had flown and hit Cory right in the face, causing him to fall right onto his back again.)

June: (gasps) Sorry! I was aiming for the Squirrod! (to Nicki) Man, what crafty critters Squirods are, huh?

Nicki: It would help if your aim was better.

June: Doesn't help that they're so crazily fast!

Chris: June. Nicki. About time you two could join us.

June: Sorry for taking long, guys! Squirrods are faster than I thought! The video games make it seem so easy!

Nicki: (zones out; stares endlessly at Marissa from across the room)

Brooke: (jogs inside; taunts Samantha) Yeah! Haha, beat you! (smirks)

Samantha: So what? We weren't even racing.

Ron: (head perks up) Race?!

Chris: (facepalms) No, Ron.

Brooke: And if we were racing, I would of still won.

Ron: Race?! (smiles largely)

Chris: NO, Ron!

Samantha: Don't you start!

Hamilton: It doesn't matter anyway! You both cost us the challenge, regardless of who beat who in whatever race.

Ron: I keep hearing something about another race!

Chris: There's no race, Ron! There never was one to begin with!

Hamilton: At least we have an idea of who to vote off--

Chris: (focuses attention to Hamilton) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, guys...that WASN'T the challenge! (chuckles)

Brooke: Um, what?

(Chris then walks over to a big, white tarp and pulls it off a buffet table, revealing tons of delicious, authentic food. The campers freeze in shock, their eyes watering with joyful tears. After the amount of time they've spent on this show so far, they have already nearly forgotten what real food looks like. Chef's cooking does this to ya, people.)

Chef: (insulted; in the background) HEY!

Chris: Who wants breakfast?!

\---> Lou: (sniffling) It was beautiful! Graceful! Scrumptious! There was even seafood! (tears up) Could this get any better?!

\---> Oliver: (swings door open; pokes head inside) Nope. (leaves; shuts door behind him)

\---> Lou: ...

(Half an hour later, everyone is moaning and groaning from how stuffed they are. Various campers are laid out, grasping onto their expanded guts, a common side effect from a scrumptious feast. Chris then jumps onto the buffet table with megaphone in hand, using it to irritate and hook the attention of the contestants.)

Chris: Yo, campers! I hope you're full and satisfied from that meal because it's challenge time!

Marissa: (eyes widen) Didn't we just do the challenge?!

Chris: (snickers) Pfffttt, no! That was like...only half of it.

Samantha: (seethes) There's MORE?!

Chris: Duh! Otherwise, the challenge would of been WAY too easy -- and enjoyable. Can't have that, can we now?

Spencer: (growls) Spencer and Celia demand answers!

Chris: Relax, Knife Boy, because it is now time for the Awake-A-Thon!

Ron: (ecstatic) Race-A-Thon?!

Chris: (glowers; points megaphone at Ron and shouts loudly) Consider this challenge to be the least difficult one yet. The team with the last camper standing wins invincibility.

Charles: (has come to a conclusion) It all makes sense now. We were lured into expending our energy by running around. Afterwards, a piquant feast was bestowed upon us as a "reward". All of that was to abate our capability of staying awake.

Rebecca: Well played, McLean.

Miguel: So he basically exhausted us and fed us to make it harder for us to complete the challenge? I agree with Rebecca. Well played indeed. (crosses arms; turns smug) Won't stop me, Numero Uno, from coming out on top.

Theresa: It's becoming clear as to which head of yours is larger than the other. (slants eyes)

Miguel: Resorting to innuendos as comebacks? Theresa, I'd expect more of you, but then I remembered who I'm speaking about. (sneers)

Theresa: Yeah, the girl who's gonna outdo you in today's challenge! (gets up in his face)

June: (chanting) FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Chris: (shouts into megaphone) ENOUGH, campers! If I were you, I'd conserve my energy for the challenge. Today's not a day where you want to use up too much energy, especially not this early.

Julie: Can we stick to doing that AFTER they fight? That way, everybody wins.

Chris: NOPE! Get moving, campers! MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!

(All the teens start sluggishly shambling out of the Main Lodge, heading to the destination of today's challenge: the campfire pit. The building eventually clears out, except for Chris and Chef.)

???: Did somebody say innuendos? (struts inside)

Chris: (gasps) You're not suppose to cameo until a future episode! Chef! Get him outta here!

Chef: My pleasure. (targets the teen) Get out of here, punk! Don't make me come after ya!

???: Settle down before you break a hip or somethin'. I'll let myself out. (nonchalantly leaves)

Chris: (wipes forehead with back of hand) Phew! Too close for comfort. (turns to Chef) And just what was that?! Our budget can only afford a few cameos per episode, Chef! We've already had one happen and the two reoccurring ones have yet to be seen again!

Chef: Don't look at me! I'm not in charge of babysittin' these cruddy kids! Not my fault they wander around, going wherever they like.

Chris: This is exactly why we have interns! To do all that and a lot of other stuff! Call up a few of them over here right now. I'll be sure to remind them of all of their responsibilities.

Chef: (fishes out a walkie-talkie) Alright. (contacts the interns)

{{===Campfire Pit===}}

(12 hours into the challenge and everybody is still awake.)

\---> Julie: Now was just as a good time as ever to pull some strings. Of course, I'll have to stay low to avoid too much attention.

Julie: (gets up and approaches Ron) Hey, Ron. Didn't you hear?

Ron: Oh, hiya Julie! ...And hear 'bout what?

Julie: Hear about the race Chris just started up! He's trying to see which contestant here can outrace Chef.

Ron: (skeptical) You sure 'bout that, lady? Ah've been believing there was ah race all day today and there hasn't been one.

Julie: Oh yeah, not joking at all. Heck, Chris himself told me to tell you because he knows just how much you love to race.

Ron: (convinced) Wait, really? He said that?

Julie: Every word, Ron. He probably thinks you don't stand a chance, but proving him wrong is all the more reason to go race Chef, right? (smug)

Ron: Of course! Say, what kind of race? Foot race? Ah marathon? Race car race?! (excited)

Julie: (taps chin with finger) Gee, I think I recall Chris mentioning Go-Karts...

Ron: (not missing a beat) Ah'm in! Just point the way to the starting line, miss!

Julie: It's that way. (points behind her with thumb) By the way, the name's Julie and also, you're welcome.

Ron: Thanks! Ah'll be back to help our team win this challenge after I win that race! (takes off) Gotta go fast!

Julie: (smirks as Ron runs off; waltz over to her team and takes a seat on the ground) Feels like a victory to me already.

\---> Julie: I did that simply to avoid elimination. Once Ron comes back, exhausted from running around, trying to find the "race", he'll most likely be the first to fall asleep. Then, my team will have a strong idea of who deserves to get the boot later tonight. (smirks)

(Meanwhile, Marissa and Nicki are deep into a conversation with one another as both of their teams either don't notice or are just too tired to care.)

Marissa: (laughs) No way!

Nicki: Completely true. Every party and club I've been a deejay for, she was there. Real trouble-maker. Always looking for boys to get and have fun with. She usually went for the taken ones.

Marissa: My gosh, really? (Nicki nods) She sounds like she was always looking for trouble.

Nicki: She was. Always intentional. Something about pissing off the girlfriends of the taken dudes lit a spark in her. I guess it just made it all that more worth it to her.

Marissa: You hang out with some real crazy people, don't ya?

Nicki: Yeah, but they're all real cool and bangin'.

Marissa: (snickers) Banging?

Nicki: Yeah, you know, another word for awesome and other words like that.

(As the two continue to confer, Zane, along with Hamilton and Calvin, overhear the conversation and, besides questioning why Nicki is over there with them, are theorizing about something they heard from that discussion.)

Zane: Are they talking about that one girl that Cory, Oliver and that third guy traveled with around the world that one time?

Calvin: You mean when those four went on that Pokeymin journey together? Yeah, I think that might of been who they were referring to.

Zane: Whoever they meant, the behavior and description definitely fit her, so it's possible.

Calvin: We could just ask them.

Hamilton: (in a state of confusion; shakes out the cobwebs) Wait, wait, wait! What are you two going on about? What journey and what about Pokeymin? What girl?! I don't recall Cory ever traveling to or from anywhere! Guy barely leaves his house.

Calvin: Sorry for the confusion, man. Different universe we're talking about.

Hamilton: Oh geeze, not this confusing, nonsensical, lackluster of logic talk again. Seriously, why can't you two leave reality and that "fourth" wall or whatever alone?

Zane: (yawns) Why not? Doesn't hurt nobody.

Calvin: Yeah, man. All we're doing is talking about an alternate universe, a girl we keep referring to but won't say her name because references, and Pokeymin.

Hamilton: Still, what's the po--(is cut off)

June: (pops up from behind) Pokeymin?!

Hamilton: (facepalms) Oh gosh. June, please return to your team.

June: No can do, buckaroo! Pokeymin is a magnet to me! It's a June magnet!

Calvin: Can I have a barbecue sauce magnet, please?

Hamilton: This is getting ridiculous. All I wanted to know was who those two were talking about.

June: Huh? What two? (Hamilton points a finger; June follows it to see Nicki and Marissa) Oh! How did I not see Nicki over here? Why is she over here? I'm curious now.

Hamilton: I'm wondering the same questions about you. (crosses arms)

June: (igores Hamilton; watches Nicki and Marissa talk) Hmmm....

\---> June: (grinning widely) Oh, I think I've got a good idea of what's going on here. (appears confident) Isn't it obvious? Nicki is obviously trying to convince Marissa into an alliance with her and I! Duh! So obvious, people!

{{===Forest===}}

Ron: Chef! Ah accept your racing challenge! (consistently looking around) Come on out and let's get started! I reckon you think you can hide from me forever, huh?

(Out of nowhere, a tranquilizer dart flies in and jabs Ron right in the neck. Ron flinches and pulls it out, looking at it in total shock. He slowly falls to his knees and collapses to the ground. He instantly falls into a deep sleep.)

Chef: (cackles) I got one! Finally got one dem critters-- (walks over; gasps) Crap! I shot one of the contestants! (panics) Maybe Chris won't find out... (whistles innocently and walks away)

Ron: (is left unconscious in the middle of the woods)

{{===Campfire Pit===}}

(24 hours into the challenge. Hours after what happened to Ron, only three others have fallen asleep: Brooke, Amanda, and Lou. Being how tired they are, the teams seem to care less and less about inter-team interactions during the course of this challenge. Amanda is seen using Lou's lap as a pillow, probably because she requested so and Lou complied, resulting in them falling asleep together.)

[SG: 8 ==== KB: 9]

Zane: (smiles warmly at the sight of Amanda and Lou)

\---> Zane: Wouldn't I be such an amazing friend if I could bring happiness and love to my friends? This is why I live to ship! Love makes the world go round! I'll do what I can to hook my closest friends up. One day, they'll thank me. (smiles)

(Zane peers over at the Gophers and notices Cory laying on the ground. He sees that he has taken off his hoodie and is now using it as a pillow. He doesn't appear to be chilly. Zane gets up and treks over to Cory, finding him not asleep, but instead gazing up at the stars with his arms and hands underneath his head and neck. Cory flicks his stare over at Zane, who is now standing directly above him.)

Cory: ...Hi.

Zane: (enthusiastically waves) Hey there, buddy! Just checking to see if you're still awake.

Cory: Yup, sure am.

Zane: Alright, cool. Just wanted to make sure, buddy. See ya later. (walks away)

Cory: (props himself up on his elbows; befuddled) Um...okay then. Bye?

\---> Zane: I need to wait for a sign; some kind of opportunity. A perfect time to act and set Cory up. It's much easier this way since Cory never wants to cooperate when he's aware. Don't worry, though, buddy! Love is on its way to your rescue! (radiates with pride and confidence)

Chris: (strides into view) Good news, campers who are still awake! You have survived twenty four hours thus far. Such a milestone deserves to not go unrewarded.

(Right on cue, Chef, dressed up as a sheep, makes his presence known along with three interns. Surprise surprise, these three interns are familiar and have served as cameos for each episode so far.)

Chris: Everyone, meet Ben, Krystal, and Oliver. They're interns, meaning they help out with the production of the show.

Everyone: (dead silent)

Chris: Anyways, they got a few surprises with them. Chef and his ridiculous costume is only one of them. (snickers)

Chef: (sighs) I don't get paid enough for this, man.

Chris: Hush, you baby! Just start working your sleepy magic on the campers already.

Chef: (pulls out a handheld-sized harp and begins to gently strum it)

Ben: (pulls out a humongous novel and opens it; clears throat loudly) Time for fairy tales! Tonight, you all shall learn the history of (shouts) CARDBOARDLANDIA!

(Instantly, Rebecca, Charles, Kylie, Marissa, and June pass out from fatigue. Ben appears to be very offended, but initiates reading the novel nonetheless.)

[SG: 5 ==== KB: 7] 

Ben: Chapter 1: The Beginning of the Beginning. Once upon a time, the human race was blessed by a gift from the heavens up above. This was to be later known as...CARDBOARD. 

(Collections of yawns arise from the drowsy campers. They all wobble and teeter, doing their absolute best to stay awake and in the challenge. This "fairy tale" proved to make it even more difficult. But boy oh boy, what came next helped even more. Chef, now in a tutu, starts spinning, leaping, and dancing around, sprinkling the contestants with "fatigue" in the process.)

Lina: (dozing off; stands up as attempt to stay awake) No...(yawns) not...not yet... (stumbles; falls over and passes out)

[SG: 4 ==== KB: 7]

\---> Nicki: At this point, it was not looking good, guys. Both Marissa and June went off into the land of dreams, leaving me with nobody to talk to! Well, nobody I wanted to talk to at least. Oh, um, anyways, there's only four of us left and seven of them. Like I said, not looking good.

=============================================================================

(FORTY HOURS INTO THE CHALLENGE)

(Miguel and Theresa fell asleep while trying to outlast one another. Dream Land also took victim of Samantha and Hamilton, dropping the Killer Bass down four points, resulting in the Screaming Gophers going up a point.)

[SG: 4 ==== KB: 3]

Cory: (groans) Kill me... (yawns loudly)

Spencer: Spencer would be glad to. (peers straight down at Cory while standing above him)

Cory: (looks up; shrieks) Mother of Abe Lincoln! (cautiously gets up with hoodie in hand; moves elsewhere and sits down upon one of the tree stump seats)

Spencer: (giggles like a madman) Sweet dreams, Cory. (malicious grin; hugs Celia)

Calvin: Welp, looks like I'll be having nightmares.

Blackichan: (snickers) Heh, yeah, no kidding.

Spencer: CELIA AND SPENCER CAN HEAR YOU!

Calvin: No shit, dude. You're only twenty bagels away from us.

(Long, awkward silence ensues. Not a word is said for minutes after that.)

Cory: (eyes grow heavy; head bobs various times) I...I can...do...(eyelids slam shut; falls off the tree stump he was sitting on and passes out)

[SG: 3 ==== KB: 3]

\---> Zane: Waiting had paid off. The perfect opportunity had arrived. Cory will thank me for this one day. (smiles; confident in self)

Zane: (stands up and walks over to Cory) I'll be needing this. (takes Cory's green hoodie and walks off with it)

Calvin: (eyes Zane with curiosity)

Zane: (approaches Lina, who is curled into a ball) Sleep well and warm. (spreads out and places the hoodie onto Lina like its a blanket)

=============================================================================

(FIFTY TWO HOURS INTO THE CHALLENGE)

Krystal: (returns to the campfire pit with Ben and Oliver) This is fun. Watching them suffer as they try to stay awake when, deep down, all they want is a wink of sleep. But they know they can't or else they'll lose and possibly get kicked off. Decisions, decisions... (sinister grin; crazy eyes) HAHAHAHAHA! You enjoying yourselves?!

Julie: Shut it, you weirdo! We got enough nutjobs on this show as is.

(Camera pans a little to Julie's right, showing Spencer with a wide grin and eyes, just staring down Julie.)

Julie: See what I mean?

Nicki: (drags herself over to Oliver's feet) Coffee.... (raspy voice; grabs onto Oliver's ankle) Please...

Oliver: (shakes Nicki's hand off of his ankle) Hmmm, well, you did say please...y'know what? Let me think about it. (casually sips from his Styrofoam cup, over and over again, not getting back to Nicki)

Nicki: (looks helpless) Dude, ya gotta hook me up with some of that morning fuel! PLEASE!

Oliver: (exchanges glances with Ben and Krystal) ...Fine.

Chris: NOT fine! That's against the rules!

Julie: What rules?!

Chris: The ones I just made up now. So, either break them and automatically get disqualified from the challenge, fall asleep now, or continue suffering. Your choice. (cheesy grin)

Nicki: (weeps) OHHHHHH COME ON! (whines sleepily) Not cool, dude...

Chris: Too bad, so sad. (looks over at those still in the challenge) Looks like we've lost two more.

(Camera reveals both Blackichan and Zane out cold on the ground. Calvin looks on in slight fright and disbelief, knowing he's all that remains in his alliance in this challenge. He's also the only one of the group to be still up with Spencer awake.)

Calvin: ...Bagels. (sighs hopelessly)

[SG: 2 ==== KB: 2]

Krystal: YASSSSSS.

Calvin: What friend are you?! Aren't you supposed to be with me, not against me?

Krystal: I never said that was directed towards you. (poker face)

Calvin: Loads of SPAGHETTI is what you're feeding me here, Krystal!

Krystal: Sounds delicious.

Ben: No denying that.

Oliver: Concurred. (another sip)

Spencer: (laughs hysterically) Just us left, Calvin. Just. Us. LEFT.

Calvin: Stop reminding me! (gets up and stretches) I'm gonna go fetch some manga from the cabin. Got some catching up to do on my reading. (waltz away from the campfire pit)

Spencer: You can't escape Spencer and Celia forever! (shakes fist)

(EIGHTY HOURS INTO THE CHALLENGE. HOLY SHIT, HOW AND WHY?!?!)

Julie: (snoring; out cold on the ground)

[SG: 1 ==== KB: 2]

Nicki: (gasps) I'm the last one. I'm all that's left.

Chris: Correct-o-mundo, Nicki. It's not looking good for you. (chuckles)

Ron: (sprints into the area) Ah'm here at last! Did ah win?

Chris: Nooo, you were actually the first to fall asleep, Ron.

Ron: What?! (realization) Then dat means that ah lost the race! No, it can't be!

Chris: It ISN'T, because for the millionth time, there's no race. There wasn't a race, and there never has been a race.

Ron: You said yourself that you were lookin' for a contestant to outrace Chef in Go-Karts! She said you did! (points to Julie)

Chris: (raises an eyebrow; switches gaze between Julie and Ron frequently) Dude... (laughs) You totally got psyched! Julie must of tricked you because there was no race.

Ron: What?! (total disbelief)

Chris: I know -- must be shocking. As usual, there isn't a race and there never was a race.

Ron: Ah should of known! (hangs head)

Chris: Yes, you should have. Say, why did you decide to sleep in the woods?

Ron: Huh? Oh, that. No idea to be truthful. Don't remember much before things went black...

Chef: (innocently whistles)

Spencer: Why isn't Calvin back?! He left hours ago to go fetch his manga and he hasn't returned since!

Chris: Oh yeah, forgot about him.

{{===Killer Bass Cabin (Males)===}}

Calvin: (spread out on a bed, sleeping with an issue of Japanese manga on his chest)

Cameraman: That answers that.

{{===Campfire Pit===}}

Cameraman: (whispers in Chris's ear)

Chris: (nods in understanding) I see. Well, we've gotten news that Calvin is laid out on a bed, far away in Dream Land.

{SG: 1 ==== KB: 1}

Chris: Both teams are tied at one a piece. You feeling confident, Spencer?

Spencer: Spencer is an experienced insomniac. Spencer can still manage.

Chris: How 'bout you, Nicki? (no response) ...Nicki? (peers down at her; she's out) And there we have it! Just like that, the winner of the Awake-A-Thon is... (raises Spencer's arm into the air) SPENCER! The Killer Bass win!

Spencer: (slowly falls backwards; is out as soon as he hits the ground)

Ron: (kicks at the dirt) Darn it!

{{===Bonfire Ceremony===}}

(The Screaming Gophers arrive, once again taking their seats on the collection of tree stumps. Chris is seen standing at his podium, patiently waiting for them to seat themselves. Once they do, he begins the ceremony.)

Chris: Screaming Gophers, welcome to your second visit to the Bonfire Ceremony. Two losses in a row? Yikes! You guys are having it rough!

Julie: Yes, WE KNOW. Get a move on!

Chris: Somebody's cranky.

Julie: (scoffs)

Chris: You've all cast your votes and made your decision. On this plate are only nine marshmallows. Once your name is called, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who doesn't receive one must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and get outta here. Oh yeah, and you can't return to the island. EVER.

Screaming Gophers: (sleepily casts glances at Chris with little to no emotional displays of care) 

Chris: The first marshmallow goes to Nicki.

Nicki: (groggily slumps over to the platter of marshmallow and takes one)

Chris: Blackichan.

Blackichan: Yes! (fist pumps; runs up and gets his marshmallow)

Chris: Charles; June.

Charles: (nods and gets his)

June: Yeah! Fillin' up that Pokeydex! (gets a marshmallow; sits down again and a squirrel suddenly jumps and snatches it from her) Hey! It's that Squirrod again! COME BACK HERE WITH MY MARSHMALLOW! (runs after the squirrel)

Chris: ...Ignoring that, the next marshmallows go to Cory and Lina.

(The two both go up at once and head to the platter to claim their marshmallows.)

Lina: (gratefully smiles at Cory) Thank you for this. (tosses his green hoodie back to him)

Cory: (taken by surprise; catches it and looks at Lina in confusion) I've been looking all over for this! Where'd ya find it?

Chris: I'm running an elimination ceremony here! You can talk AFTER it's over. Thanks. Moving on, the next two go to...Rebecca and Lou!

(Lou giddily claims his as Rebecca tranquilly seizes her marshmallow, both of them returning to their seats afterwards. Suspense and drama falls upon all at the ceremony, displaying the final marshmallow resting on the platter.)

Chris: Campers, this is the last marshmallow of the evening.

(Ron gasps. Julie remains smug, not taking her eye off of the marshmallow. That overly-familiar dramatic elimination ceremony campfire music cues. It's time.)

Chris: The final marshmallow goes to...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Julie.

Julie: As if there was any doubt. (claims her marshmallow triumphantly)

Ron: (total defeat and disappointment spreads across his face)

Chris: Ron, sorry to say that you've got to go. This was just one race you couldn't win. (snickers)

Ron: (stink eyes Chris) Ah'd appreciate less of the jokes. Thanks. (storms off to the Dock of Shame) Y'all were just intimidated of me! Y'all knew that I would of left y'all in the dust if I was kept around! There may not of been ah race on this show, but someday there will be, and ah'll be there to win it! Nothing will stahp me!

Screaming Gophers: (leave the campfire pit as they continue to give Ron the cold shoulder)

Ron: (steams with anger) Fine! Forget y'all! (hops onto the boat) Ah'm going elsewhere to make history! (pauses; sighs) Ah was expecting to do better, ain't lying. Guess this show wasn't for me.

{{===Campgrounds===}}

Cory: Lina! Wait up! (catches up to her)

Lina: Hm?

Cory: I just wanted to thank you for finding my hoodie for me. Where'd ya get it from?

Lina: ...Um, you.

Cory: (befuddled) Huh?

Lina: I woke up with it. I thought you blanketed me with it.

(Suddenly, an arm wraps around Cory's shoulders from behind. It's Zane.)

Zane: He did. I saw him. Cory, buddy, do you seriously not remember doing that?

Cory: No, I don't. Not at all.

Zane: That's fine, buddy. After all, you were extremely tired and your memory isn't the greatest.

Cory: Hmm...you do have a point. My memory is always crap and I was pretty dang exhausted.

Zane: Trust me, you did blanket her with it. Very sweet of you, I must add.

Lina: Yeah...t-thanks. (shyly smiles)

Cory: Um...you're welcome. (stutters) I guess.

Lina: (smiles once more; leaves to her cabin)

Zane: (smiles delightedly; Cory doesn't notice)

\---> Cory: For the life of me, I seriously can't remember ever doing that. I assume that I would, but I'm willing to take Zane's word for it...I guess. I mean, he's right about my memory, and I must of been completely out of it when that happened. (shrugs) Whatever.

{{===Dock of Shame===}}

Chris: What exciting things await our campers in the next episode? Will the Screaming Gophers pull it together and claim their first victory? Or will they end up back at the bonfire ceremony again? What other kinds of tricks does Julie have up her sleeve? Who's the one true leader of the Killer Bass? Can Spencer get any creepier? How many more questions am I going to ask? Find out next time, right here, on -- TOTAL DRAMA SUMMER CAMP!

~~~END~~~


	4. Dodgebrawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both teams are locked in a competition with one another of a Physical Education classic known as Dodgeball. Another OC cameos and another elimination takes place. Will the Gophers finally win their first challenge or will the Bass pummel them into the ground again?

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Summer Camp, our campers were forced to run twenty kilometers around the island before they were awarded with a delicious banquet. Little did they know that I was secretly tricking them into making the challenge a lot more difficult on themselves. The Awake-A-Thon turned out to be brutal, lasting over three days! Thanks to Julie, Ron ended up showing just how truly gullible and stupid he is, buying Julie's fib about Chef issuing a Go-Kart race. After a trek in the woods while searching for the race, Chef himself knocked Ron out cold, resulting him to be the first Gopher out. Also, Blackichan, Zane, Calvin, Hamilton, and Cory officially cemented what is now the first ever Total Drama alliance. The functionality of said alliance may be questionable in the future, reasons including Zane's undying effort to score Cory a significant other. While Cory resents him and his efforts, Zane seems to have one-upped him with his stunt during the Awake-A-Thon where he used Cory's hoodie to blanket a shivery, slumbering Lina, and then gave Cory the credit. In the end, Spencer won it for the Killer Bass, and the Screaming Gophers ended Ron's "race" in the competition a little early. This week, the challenge is a Physical Education class favorite and boy, is it gonna sting! Stayed tuned and see what I mean, right here, right now, on TOTAL DRAMA SUMMER CAMP!

(Total Drama Summer Camp theme song cues)

{{===Main Lodge===}}

(Both teams are at their respective tables, moping and groaning over Chef's muck. A few competitors on both sides are suffering from fatigue, thanks to the Awake-A-Thon. The winner of said challenge, Spencer of the Killer Bass, is hugging his knife Celia tightly as he slumbers under his team's table. The runner-up of that challenge, Nicki of the Screaming Gophers, is out cold with her face down on the table.)

\---> Rebecca: Could the current state of our team be any worse? We've lost TWICE in a row so far, resulting in the loss of two players. Ron and Wade did prove to be overly useless, but I digress. We need to step up our game! My teammates need to be truthfully informed about their flaws so that they can work on them, thus improving themselves. This is a step towards potential victory.

Rebecca: Team, we need to work on improving ourselves as individuals. Once we do that, we can then improve as a team, and victory will then be ours! Now, in order for us to work on ourselves, I think it is high time that you all got to hear flaws about yourselves that I've noticed. From there, you can all do your best on improving and revamping those issues.

Julie: (snickers; arms crossed) Um...what?

Rebecca: Starting with you, Julie. You need to be more cooperative and have more faith in your own team! Your constant negative outlook on the team's condition, as well as your sarcastic proclamations, are keeping all of our spirits and motivation down. Encouragement is key, not hindrance.

Julie: (raises eyebrows in distaste) Excuse me?

Rebecca: (goes on) Speaking of negative attitudes and behavior, that brings me to you, Cory.

Cory: Oh joy. (rolls eyes)

Rebecca: You honestly don't need to be so pessimistic and gloomy about everything! Not only is it not healthy, but it affects everyone around you, downing them as well.

Cory: Fine with me.

Rebecca: And that's another reason why it's inadmissible! This behavior does the team no wonders! There are so many flaws and little dilemmas that need to be solved and or improved! Don't you guys want to conquer victory?!

Screaming Gophers: (monotone) Yes.

Rebecca: No offense, but that didn't sound genuine in the slightest!

{{===Killer Bass===}}

\---> Brooke: See what happens when your teammates actually put effort into doing things? Your team wins! We've already won twice in a row, and, like, got two of those Gophers eliminated. I'm still not convinced that my team is working hard enough or as much as they should, so I'll make sure they continue to put more effort into it. Like, we can't just let our guards down so suddenly just because the other team has lost twice. That'd be a stupid thing to do.

Theresa: (concernedly peering under the table at Spencer) He better not try anything funny down there. I'm afraid he might bite my foot or something.

Samantha: If he tries doing that to me, that knife of his is gonna wind up somewhere he's not gonna want it to be, I'll guarantee that.

Brooke: Just let the weirdo be. He's asleep. You guys are fine. Besides, we obviously, like, have more important matters to discuss.

Miguel: Such as?

Brooke: To not let our guards down! We've won twice now, but that doesn't mean we should let all that go to our heads! Today, like, may be the day the Gophers finally beat us in a challenge. We need to stay alert! That's why we all need to continue putting more effort into working even harder!

Samantha: Woah, woah, woah! More effort? Work even harder? Why do that when we've been WINNING. We're doing just fine! Today, we'll blow those Gophers out of the ground a third time!

Brooke: This is what I was just talking about! You're already letting your guard down, expecting us to win for a third time so easily!

Samantha: That's not what I'm doing at all. In my perspective, we're doing great and nothing needs to be changed. If something's not broken, why fix it?

Brooke: (grunts) That's the kind of mindset that'll lead our team to losing! We must always be on our toes! We got to keep improving -- to keep one-upping the competition!

Samantha: Says who? You? Oh, I get it, because you still think you're the leader of this team when I'M the team leader!

Brooke: In your dreams! I'm leader and that's final! This has already been established!

Samantha: Bullcrap! Everyone knows I'm the team leader!

Spencer: SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! Spencer and Celia NEED to sleep!

Calvin: You don't deserve sleep! Or any of my delicious barbecue sauce!

Spencer: (hisses) You don't deserve to live! (crawls out from underneath the table)

Kylie: Can all of you shut up? That'd be great. Seriously, this team is full of drama queens. The drama club I'm apart of at school doesn't even have as much drama as this team does.

(By now, the Screaming Gophers have been watching the Killer Bass and their drama for a good few minutes or so. Most of the Killer Bass don't seem to notice the awkward glances being directed at them.)

\---> Julie: Here I was, thinking that OUR team was a mess. Don't get me wrong, it is, but the Killer Bass seem to be an even bigger one.

Hamilton: People, please! Hold it together! In this condition, there's no way our team will be able to win today's challenge!

Brooke: Which is exactly why we need to work harder and stay aware of the competition!

Samantha: Don't you start with that crap again!

Chris: (nonchalantly walks in) Guys, guys! What's with all the commotion, huh? You all should save that anger and frustration for the challenge. Speaking of the challenge, it starts in ten minutes! You can channel that anger all you want there. (cackles) Be ready to bring it!

June: (cocks head) Be ready to bring what?

{{===Sport Court w/ Glass Walls===}}

(Both teams, along with Chris and Chef, have gathered in what looks like a small sport court surrounded by towering glass walls. There's no ceiling to this structure at all. In the back of the court, on the very left of the wall, is the Screaming Gophers flag. On the very right of the court wall is the Killer Bass flag. Chef is not wearing his usual attire (minus the pants), but is instead sporting a referee shirt. Nicki is laid out, sleeping on one of the SG bleachers. Spencer is doing the same on the KB bleachers, except he's upside down.)

June: (makes pace towards Nicki) Nicki! Gurl! You gotta stay awake for this challenge!

Nicki: (lazily swats at June) No... (groans) Val, please. Ten more minutes...

June: What? Val? Who the heck is that? (shakes Nicki) Come on, Nicki! You can sleep after the challenge, I promise! Just get up!

Nicki: (groans even more) But I'm so comfy...

June: I know, but sistah, you got more important things right now. Like doing the challenge. That kind of important stuff.

Nicki: (turns onto her other side) Later...

June: But--

(Chef blows his whistle forcefully, silencing the entire room. All that is heard is Chef's footsteps as he walks down to the other end of the court. Chris awaits him there as he stands next to a pile of dodgeballs. Chef then stands beside him, waiting on Chris to explain the challenge.)

Chris: Today's challenge is a classic. A Gym class classic, actually. The challenge is good old Dodgeball. At first, I was going to explain the rules of Dodgeball to all of you, but then I decided to give such an honor to somebody else.

Miguel: Chef?

Chris: Nope! Good guess, though. Actually, I'm letting a cameo explain the rules!

Charles: (raises hand)

Chris: Yes, Charles?

Charles: I feel contrite for interrupting you in this manner, but why does this show have cameos? This is, after all, the first season. We the contestants, as well as the viewers, descry these cameos to be people we don't identify. There's no reason for us to either.

Chris: That's where you're wrong, Charles. Most of the viewers actually do recognize the cameos we've shown so far. What's even better is that some of your fellow contestants know them, too.

Charles: (surprised) Really? I'm stupefied that I wasn't cognizant of such information.

Chris: Even smart people learn something new everyday, Charles.

Charles: (stern) Well of course. Being intelligent does not translate to "all knowing", Chris.

Chris: (moves on) Long story short, these cameos are basically friends of some of the contestants. Heck, what's even better is that the first three cameos are interns!

Brooke: Um, could you please get the cameo person out here so we can get a move on with the challenge already? 

Chris: (annoyed) Fiiiine. You kids are always so impatient. Get him in here, Chef.

Chef: On it. (takes out a walkie-talkie) 

???: (walks in) No need for dat. I enter when I wanna enter. (winks)

Hamilton: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. (facepalms)

???: Happy to see me, Hamilton?

Hamilton: Chris, of all people that could of cameo'd! 

Chris: (shrugs) Hey, this episode involves balls, so I figured now was a better time than ever.

Zane: HARRY!!! (runs over to him and hugs him tightly) It's YOU! It's been so long!

Harrison: (one-handily pushes Zane off of him) Ay, what I tell ya about the hugs?

Zane: Right. Sorry.

Cory: (deadpan) Hey, Harry.

Harrison: Gee Cory, don't get so excited. I get it, havin' me around can be a real hard on. (smirks)

Cory: (blinks) ...Ha.

Calvin: Harry, hey! Still got those bottle of barbecue sauce I gave ya?

Harrison: Yup. All eighty-three of 'em.

Calvin: Eighty-three?! I have given you EIGHTY-FOUR bottles of barbecue sauce!

Harrison: Must of miscounted. (shrugs) Close enough.

Spencer: (wakes up) What? What is he doing here?!

Harrison: Yo, Spencer! How you doin'?

Spencer: (still laying upside down on the bleachers) Trying to sleep!

Harrison: Cool.

Chris: Harry, I invited you to cameo to explain the rules of the challenge, not to reunite and chat it up with your friends. (clearly displeased)

Harrison: Alright, alright. No need to get your panties in a twist, McLean. (relocates himself in front of the contestants) Okay, this is how it works. You throw the balls at your opponents. They'll be throwin' balls at you, too. Avoid gettin' hit by the balls.

Brooke: Duh! Obviously!

Harrison: Ay, I ain't done speakin'. Keep your mouth shut, 'kay? Alright, as I was sayin', get hit by a ball, you're out. If ya catch one, the thrower is out and you can bring in a benched teammate out onto the court. Here, me let demonstrate. Yo, sailor boy! Catch! (throws a ball)

Lou: (caught off guard) Who? Me? (SMACK! Lou gets planted in the face by the ball) Ow! (rubs cheek)

Harrison: Yeah, you were supposed to catch dat. Way to go, Popeye.

Lou: (scowls; continues rubbing cheek)

Harrison: Let's give dat another try. Heads up, Moore! (throws another ball, this time at Cory)

Cory: (catches the ball)

Harrison: If we were playin', I'd be out just like dat. Also, you can use a ball to deflect an oncoming ball.

Chef: (tosses a ball to Harry)

Harrison: (catches it) Cory, throw dat one back at me.

Cory: Okay. (throws it)

Harrison: (deflects the ball with his) You can also do dat. However, if you do dat and the other ball knocks your ball out of your hands, or ya just happen to drop it afterwards, then you're out. (drops his ball to demonstrate) Got it?

Charles: The rules are quite straightforward and are easy to abide by, so I can't fathom how we couldn't grasp how to play the game.

Harrison: Enough with the big words, Four-Eyes.

Charles: I hope that wasn't intended to be derogatory because that had no affect on me whatsoever.

Chris: Alright, Harry, you've done your part. You can GO now!

Harrison: Aight. Fine by me. (puts hands in jacket pockets) Yo, Cory, Calvin, Hamilton, Zane, Spencer! We'll talk anotha time, aight?

Calvin: Yeah, man!

Harrison: Alright, cool. See ya. (serenely exits the dodgeball court structure)

Blackichan: (turns to Cory) So that was the Harry you've told me about, huh?

Cory: Yup. Pretty cool guy, huh?

Blackichan: Ye--

Chris: Moving on! You've all heard the rules. Each game starts with five players from both teams out on the court. The rest of the team sits in the bleachers. Pick your starting five players and let's get this started!

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

Rebecca: For each game, four of us are going to have to sit out. Nicki is the evident first pick considering her drained state. Any volunteers for sitting this round out with her?

Cory: As a wise man once said, and I quote, "Sports are not my forte". End quote. Yeah, I'll sit this one out.

Rebecca: Anybody else?

Lina: (shyly raises her hand) I-I'll sit out for this game, t-too...

Rebecca: Lina, you do recall what I advised you earlier about overcoming your timid personality and behavior, yes?

Lina: (stutters) Y-yeah...

Rebecca: Alright. You honestly got to work on that. You have to leave your comfort zone at some point and become more outgoing. Otherwise, nobody will ever hear you out.

Lina: (barely audible) Sorry. (sits down)

Rebecca: That's three. Just one more. Any more volunteers? If not, I'll have to pick somebody.

Julie: (enthusiastically pipes up) I'll gladly sit out. Sports aren't my strong suit either. I'm sure the rest of you will do a lot better than I ever would at dodgeball. 

Rebecca: (glowers at Julie; she knows Julie is taking advantage of sitting out over actually trying in the challenge) Alright, fine. We got our four benched members. The rest of you ready? Let's get prepared for this!

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Brooke: Psycho Boy is obviously sitting this out. Like, he may have to sit out for all of the games.

Miguel: Fair enough.

Brooke: So, who wants to be benched?

Amanda: Me, obviously! No way am I going to go out on that court. (sits down) Partaking in physical activity, getting sweaty, being hit by thrown projectiles? (scoffs) Darling, those things are simply not for moi.

Samantha: (rolls her eyes)

Marissa: (sits down next to Amanda) Can't argue with that. I whole-heartedly agree with you, Amanda. We're beautiful, elegant ladies.

Amanda: Quite right you are, Marissa. We're not barbarians, buffoons or sports-loving jockeys.

Calvin: We get it! You're wimps.

Amanda: (irked) Pardon moi?!

Brooke: GUYS!!! Seriously, stop arguing! Turning on each other isn't gonna help us win.

Hamilton: Well, yeah, obviously.

Brooke: (sighs; deep breath) Okay, so, we've got three teammates decided to be benched for the first game. We need three more to sit out.

Kylie: Eh, why not? I'll volunteer.

Zane: Me, too!

Brooke: Then that leaves just one. (looks at Miguel and Theresa) You two want to play?

Miguel: Why of course. (smug)

Theresa: (leers at Miguel) Yup.

Brooke: What about you two dorks? (addressing Calvin and Hamilton)

Hamilton: The name calling was unnecessary, but yes, I'll play.

Calvin: Same.

Brooke: Alright, then that just leaves... (realizes Samantha is the last teammate to go over)

Samantha: (is smug; patiently waits for Brooke to talk)

Brooke: (sighs) ...You wanna play, don't you?

Samantha: Mhm.

Brooke: Fine. I'll sit this one out. (reluctantly sits down)

Samantha: Thank you. (gets up and joins the others out on the court)

{{===Dodgeball Court===}}

(Left side of the screen is the Screaming Gophers's side of the court. In the bleachers are Nicki, Cory, Lina, and Julie. On the court, lined up and in order from left to right, is Blackichan, Rebecca, June, Lou, and Charles. Right side of the screen is the Killer Bass's side of the court. In the bleachers are Zane, Marissa, Amanda, Brooke, Spencer, and Kylie. On the court, lined up in order from right to left, is Samantha, Miguel, Theresa, Hamilton, and Calvin. Eight dodgeballs are lined up in the center of the court.)

Chris: Both teams are set. Best of five games win. (looks at watch on right wrist) And according to my watch, it is now time to dodge some ball!

Blackichan: (gives Chris a disapproving look) Really, dude?

Chris: (frowns) Just play already!

Rebecca: WAIT! Hold on a moment, please! (adjusts the dodgeballs on the center line until they're all perfectly aligned) There we go. (to herself) Perfect.

Everyone: (gives Rebecca flummoxed expressions)

Chris: Um...okay then. (confused; gives Chef the signal)

Chef: (also confused; shrugs it off and blows the whistle)

\---> Charles: Being the perceptive individual I am, I'm assuming I know the reason behind what Rebecca executed there. Not entirely positive, but I have a premonition.

\---> June: Just what the Flion was that about?!

{{GAME ONE}}

[[KB: 5 || SG: 5]]

(Everybody on the court has a ball except for Rebecca and Hamilton.)

Lou: (chucks ball at Calvin)

Calvin: (dodges; does a little spin before throwing his ball at Lou)

Lou: (ball hits him in the face once again)

Chef: (blows whistle; gestures that Lou is out)

[[KB: 5 || SG: 4]]  

Samantha: Nice throw! Where'd ya learn to throw like that?

Calvin: I've partaken in a lot of MEATBALL throwing.

Samantha: (smiles) Nice! (pauses; realization) Wait, what?

June: (throws ball)

Samantha: (caught off guard; is nailed in the gut) Augh! Darn it! 

June: Yes! Now it's weakened! Go, Pokeyball! (flings a Pokeyball at Samantha)

Samantha: Hey! (dodges) What was that for?!

Chef: (blows whistle; gestures that Samantha's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 4]]  

June: Crud! It got away! (snaps fingers in defeat)

Samantha: (growls; sits in the bleachers)

\---> June: I hate it when they flee!

\---> Samantha: (arms are crossed) Completely uncalled for.

Rebecca: (retrieves a ball; throws at Theresa; is completely off target)

Blackichan: (raises eyebrow at her)

Rebecca: I've never been particularly good at sports, alright?

Theresa: (gets a running head start; front flips twice before she launches the ball at Rebecca)

Rebecca: (has only a second to react; ball smacks her in the face and knocks off her glasses)

Chef: (blows whistle; Rebecca's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 3]]

 

(Everyone, on the court and in the bleachers (except for the slumbering Nicki and Spencer), have their mouths agape at what just occurred. Suddenly, the Killer Bass starts applauding Theresa. The Screaming Gophers remain in total shock.)

Theresa: (bows several times)

Miguel: (blows a raspberry; tries his best to seem unimpressed)

Charles: (gasps; runs over to her) Rebecca! Are you unimpaired?!

Rebecca: (winded) Quite.

Charles: (helps her up; bends down and picks up her glasses) Here. (gives them to her)

Rebecca: Much gratitude to you for this, Charles. (puts them back on)

Charles: (nods) My pleasure.

(Meanwhile on the other side of the court, Miguel finds a way to place a dodgeball between his feet while doing a handstand and then launches it at Charles.)

Charles: (gets bopped in the head by the ball) Yow!

Killer Bass: (applauds Miguel and his stunt)

Screaming Gophers: (mouths agape)

Chef: (blows whistle; Charles is out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 2]]  

Miguel: (looks smugly at Theresa) What? You surely can't be surprised that I outperformed you.

Theresa: (grits teeth) Outperformed me?! Says who?!

 

Hamilton: Uh-oh. (looks aside at Theresa and Miguel) That doesn't sound good.

Miguel: Me and everybody else. That's who.

Theresa: I'm sorry, but I think the others would agree that my trick was tons better than your mediocre stunt.

Miguel: Nope! Wrong! My stunt was better! Miguel es NUMERO UNO!

Theresa: More like numero NADA!

Miguel: (gasp) I am not nothing! You're the wrong who's noth--(WHACK! A ball hits Miguel's right ear)

Theresa: (guffaws) Ha! Not feeling like you're on top of the world anymore, huh? (Her left shoulder is hit by a ball)

Blackichan: (wiping his hands off together in a victorious manner) That's how we roll!

June: (she and Blackichan high-five)

Chef: (blows whistle; Miguel and Theresa are both out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 2]]

Brooke: (watching from the sidelines; she facepalms and slowly shakes her head)

\---> Brooke: It's been only the first game so far and my team is that bad at not just Dodgeball, but also cooperation. Fortunately, the Gophers suck as well.

(Calvin turns to Hamilton and Hamilton looks back at him. They suddenly look determined and both nod their heads. They redirect their attention to Blackichan and target him.)

Calvin: (throws first)

Hamilton: (throws right after)

Blackichan: (manages to dodge Calvin's ball but gets hit by Hamilton's)

Chef: (blows whistle; Blackichan's out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 1]]

(Hamilton and Calvin high five.)

Blackichan: D'aw, man! Why you gotta go and aim for the black guy? (retreats to team bleachers)

June: (realizes she's the only one left)

Lina: (stands up; cups her mouth) YOU CAN DO IT, JUNE! (covers mouth in surprise of how loud she just was)

Rebecca: (surprised but pleased) Lina, nice work! I knew you had it in ya. Keep it up.

Lina: (once again timid and quiet) T-thanks...

Cory: (snickers)

June: (turns to look at Lina and gives her a thumbs-up)

Calvin: I'm not gonna let her win! No way, no how! IN THE NAME OF BARBECUE SAUCE! (does a battle cry; fires his ball at June)

June: (ducks; throws a curve-ball back at Calvin)

Calvin: (tries to evade it, but fails)

Hamilton: (tries to hit June while she's distracted)

June: (tosses her ball off to the side and catches the one Hamilton threw)

Hamilton: (jaw drops)

Calvin: How the BAGELS did she do that?!

Chef: (blows whistle; Hamilton and Calvin are out)

[[KB: 0 || SG: 1]]  

Chris: Game One goes to the Screaming Gophers!

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Samantha: You've got to be kidding me.

Brooke: This is exactly what I was talking about earlier! If they continue to win like that, we'll lose for sure! Alright guys, make sure to amp up your game starting next round!

Samantha: (looks away and grunts)

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

Rebecca: Impressive work out there, June!

Lou: Yeah! All that practice you've had throwing those Pocketballs has really paid off!

June: (gnashes teeth) They're called POKEYBALLS! (suddenly calm and collected) And thanks so much! (large smile)

Charles: If we wish to acquire outstanding results again in the next game, we must have players like June out there again.

Rebecca: Excellent thinking, Charles. (peers at June) You're satisfactory with that, correct?

June: Yuh-huh!

Rebecca: Splendid. For perfect results, players like Charles and I should sit this game out. Others have yet to participate anyways.

\---> Charles: There's a serious amount of alleviation from having another intelligent individual such as Rebecca around. Unlike her, the majority of my team fail to comprehend any discussion with me. Intellectual humans like me have the most strenuous time when having conversations with people like June. (grimaces)

June: (runs over to Nicki) Nicki! Nicki! Did ya see me out there? Did ya see me and my madly awesome, dank skills?!

Nicki: (cracks an eye open) Whaaaa? No, I've been....I've been...sleepin'. (closes eye)

June: (disappointed) Oh. I guess you didn't. That's...that's okay. (chippers up) I'm in the upcoming game, so you can watch me then! (suddenly excited) Oh! Next game is starting! Be sure to watch, okay?! (runs back out onto court)

Nicki: (moans) I'll try... (lazily sits up; unleashes a long, mighty yawn)

{{GAME TWO}}

[[KB: Brooke, Miguel, Theresa, Kylie, and Zane]]

[[SG: June, Cory, Lina, Lou, and Blackichan]]

Rebecca: (eyeing the dodgeballs on the court; eye twitches) Sorry, but please wait a moment! (she gets off the bleachers and runs onto court, fixating the balls until they're once again perfectly aligned) Alright, go ahead!

All: ... (awkwardly stare down Rebecca as she returns to her seat)

Chef: (shakes head) These kids are weird. (blows whistle; game starts)

[[KB: 5 || SG: 5]]

Blackichan: Yo, fish! We're gonna win the next two rounds, so ya better prepare for your first elimination ceremony tonight!

Brooke: In your dreams, you filthy gophers!

Blackichan: Oh, it's on! (puts a lot of power into throwing the ball)

Miguel: (simply catches it; is smarmy as fuck)

Blackichan: ...Welp. Shit. Today's just not Blacki's day.

Chef: (blows whistle; gestures that Blackichan's out; gestures for Marissa to join the game)

Marissa: (whines) Do I have to? Sweating is far from appealing and--

Chef: Yes, you do! No get out on the court already!

Chris: Or, y'know, you can just refuse to play and get automatically kicked out of the competition. Your choice. (smiles)

Marissa: Okay, okay! I'll play! (hurries over to her team)

[[KB: 6 || SG: 4]]

Nicki: (trying her best to stay awake; perks up when she sees Marissa in the game)

Theresa: (does a somersault, following it up with throwing her ball. It pounds Lou in the face.)

Lou: GRAAHHHHH!!! (puts his face in the palm of his hands) Not again!

Chef: (blows whistle; Lou's out)

[[KB: 6 || SG: 3]]

Cory: You've got to be kidding me...

Lina: (pathetically tosses the ball in Miguel's direction; it measly travels three feet)

Cory: (facepalms) Wow.

Miguel: (does a cartwheel; follows it up by throwing his ball at Lina)

Lina: (hit in the stomach; taken off of her feet)

Cory: (shakes his head in disappointment) We suck.

Chef: (blows whistle; Lina's out)

[[KB: 6 || SG: 2]]

Lina: (tears up) Ow... (sniffling)

Cory: (looks down at her; rolls eyes) Oh jeeze. Here, let me help you up. (lends a hand)

Lina: (rubbing her eye; takes Cory's hand and is pulled back to her feet) T-thanks. (smiles)

Zane: (watching in admiration with sparkling eyes from afar)

Cory: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Get back to the bleachers before you get pelted by any more balls.

Harrison: (pokes head through entrance) Ha! (exits)

Cory: (looks behind and over his shoulder) Get outta here, Harry! (ball flies overhead) Woah!

Marissa: Darn! Missed.

Cory: (fires back)

Brooke: (hit in the chest) Tch! Lucky shot!

Cory: Not who I was aiming for, but eh, it works.

Chef: (blows whistle; Brooke's out)

[[KB: 5 || SG: 2]]

Zane: Oh! Oh! I can do cool trick shots, too! Watch! (starts violently and rapidly spinning around)

Miguel: (backs up a little) ¿Qué demonios?

Kylie: This is going to end terribly, isn't it?

Zane: (unexpectedly stops spinning and immediately throws his ball)

(Zane sees that he's not facing the other team on the court, but is instead  is facing their bleachers. His ball ended up flying into Nicki's face.)

Kylie: Yup. Told you. It ended terribly.

Nicki: (knocked over; feet up are sticking up in the air) Ughhh....

June: (gasps loudly) Nicki! (redirects focus on the Killer Bass; bares her teeth)

Rebecca: Ref, how is that acceptable?! She's not an active player right now!

Kylie: (eyes June) Welp, she doesn't look happy. (POW! Ball hits her face)

Chef: (blows whistle; Kylie's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 2]]

June: (throws two curve-balls)

Marissa: (is hit by one)

Miguel: (dodges it; picks it up and whips it at Cory)

Cory: (isn't fast enough; gets hit in the leg) Damn it!

Chef: (blows whistle; both Marissa and Cory are out)

[[KB: 3 || SG: 1]]

June: (yells as she runs at Zane)

Zane: (pupils shrink in terror)

June: (powers that ball at Zane's gut)

Zane: (is sent flying to the glass wall; holds stomach and groans)

Chef: (blows whistle; Zane's out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 1]]

June: (breathing heavily; realizes no balls are nearby)

(She then looks at Theresa and Miguel, who both have a ball in hand and are smirking at her. June gulps, knowing she's screwed. POW! POW! They pelt her with the dodgeballs. Chef blows his whistle for that game once more, signaling June's elimination from the match and victory for the Killer Bass.)

Killer Bass: (cheering)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 0]]

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

June: (without hesitation, she runs over and checks up on Nicki) Oh my gosh! Nicki, gurl, are you okay? (lifts her head up)

Nicki: (groggily) Yeah. My face was already numb...so it's cool.

June: (helps her sit up) Just making sure. (remembers) OH! Yeah, hey, did you see me out there?! Totally got revenge on Zane for ya!

Nicki: Yeah, I...I actually watched this time. Tried to. You were cool out there. That was...banging. Heh, the guy's okay, right?

June: Uhhh... (looks over at the KB bleachers. Zane's holding his ribs as he's sitting; looks back at Nicki) Yup! Looks fine to me.

Rebecca: (interrupts) I can appreciate bonding between two teammates, but I'd appreciate it even more if you two listened. We need to figure out who needs to play next and who shouldn't.

Charles: It's official now that June's the dodgeball superior on this team.

Rebecca: Right, and we hate to keep having you play, but we need you out there, June. Otherwise, we're not going to perform well.

June: Fine with me! It's just like throwing around Pokeyballs. Fun and easy to do!

Rebecca: Excellent. Won't lie, numerous of us are terrible at dodgeball. 

Cory: I get the message, okay?

Rebecca: Not just you, Cory. Lou, Charles, Lina, and I do as well.

Cory: (does the math; takes a bit, though) Then that means the ones who don't suck are June, Blackichan, and...um...

Rebecca: That's it. Nicki and Julie remain, but we don't possess the slightest interpretation of how they perform in dodgeball.

Charles: For Nicki, we don't know for obvious reasons.

Nicki: (yawns) Yeah...sorry 'bout that. This party train's just not rocking today and needs to keep off the tracks for a bit.

Rebecca: Julie, on the other hand, is stubborn and refuses to even try.

Julie: It's only been two games. We're tied with the other team. If you truly need my help, then I'll play, but I think you guys can pull off another victory without putting me in there.

\---> Rebecca: (not amused) If there's one thing Julie is good at, it's testing my patience.

Rebecca: Fine. You'll sit out for the third game as well. However, you WILL play eventually, Julie.

Julie: Oh, I'm sure I will. Then again, maybe not. If you guys can win again and end up dominating to win a third game, this challenge is already over with. I won't be needed at all if that happens. (smug)

Rebecca: The more you try to worm your way out of playing, the better chance you'll be going home if we lose the challenge overall. (smirks at Julie)

Julie: (scowls)

\---> Julie: Can't wait 'til she's gone. Once she is, I'll be the team leader and NOBODY will boss me around.

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Brooke: Amanda, you'll have to play eventually. Might as well do it now to get it over with. If you don't, we'll send you home.

Amanda: Fine, darlings, fine! Don't expect moi to do anything worthwhile out there.

Brooke: (exhausted sigh)

Samantha: Considering how much you sucked out there, Brooke, I think it's my turn to go out there again.

Brooke: I didn't suck! I did just fine.

Samantha: You did nothing but get hit and sent out. The dude wasn't even aiming for you, either!

Brooke: He got a lucky shot! I can do so much better out there.

Samantha: Prove it then. Join the third game and show what you can do.

Brooke: Fine then! Hamilton and Calvin, you two are in again as well.

Calvin: Yes! I will play in the name of Usugo!

Hamilton: ...Who?

Calvin: Y'know, the one dude from "Warriors In War".

Hamilton: (blank stare)

Calvin: Started off as a manga. Now has its own anime.

Hamilton: ...

Calvin: (sigh) Right, you don't watch anime all that much. Nevermind...

{{GAME THREE}}

[[KB: Amanda, Brooke, Samantha, Hamilton, and Calvin]]

[[SG: June, Blackichan, Lou, Cory, and Lina]]

Rebecca: (gets up and prepares to go align the balls again)

Chris: Nope! Sit back down, Rebecca! If you mess with the dodgeballs again, I'll kick you out of the competition!

Rebecca: That's not fair!

Chris: Life isn't fair. What you've been doing is really unnecessary. You'll stop doing it if you know what's good for ya.

Rebecca: ...Very well. (remains seated)

Chef: (blows whistle; game starts)

[[KB: 5 || SG: 5]]

(Everybody on the court has a ball except for Lina and Amanda)

Cory: (throws ball at Hamilton; misses)

Hamilton: (throws his back at Cory; misses as well)

Samantha: (throws ball at Lina)

Lina: (barely dodges it; trips and falls on her butt)

Brooke: (takes advantage and throws her ball; it hits Lina in the chest) Ha! (smirks at Samantha) Not so bad, am I now?

Samantha: The girl's an easy target! She also fell and was given little time to recover. You got lucky.

Brooke: (sneers) Whatever.

Chef: (blows whistle; Lina's out)

[[KB: 5 || SG: 4]]

Cory: That was kind of dirty and cheap! (flings his ball at Brooke; aim is way off and it instead whizzes past Hamilton) Man, I suck!

Harry: (heard shouting from afar) AND YOU ALSO SWALLOW!

Cory: (looks all around him) Shut up, Harry! I swear...Where he is?!

Blackichan: Dude, Cory, pay attention to the game!

Cory: Oh, right! (turns around; Calvin's ball nearly hits him)

Calvin: Darn it! In the name of Mama Luigi, let me hit you already!

Cory: Why would I let you do that?!

Calvin: I dunno. So my team can win again?

June: Not gonna happen! (gets Calvin out with a curve-ball)

Calvin: What a load of SPAGHETTI! (angrily tosses his ball down at the floor, causing it to bounce up high into the air)

Chef: (blows whistle; Calvin's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 4]]

Lou: (has been preparing to throw his ball for a while now) Who to throw at...who to throw at...

Amanda: Lou, darling!

Lou: (eyes immediately lock onto Amanda) Yes, ma'am?

Amanda: I've been thinking...

Lou: (listening) Yeah...?

Amanda: That it would just be splendid if my team could win again. I could never get myself to put effort into throwing this ball at your team members and moving around because that'll just get me all sweaty! Sweat is just revolting...

Lou: (interjects) Madam, my team needs to win more than yours! We've twice in a row!

Amanda: I know, darling, I know. All I wish for you to do is let me come up and simply touch you with the ball.

Lou: What?! But that'd be betra--

Amanda: Pleeeeaaaaassssssseeeeeee? (bats her eyes. Uh-oh. Lou's a sucker for those!)

\---> Lou: (grabs his head and yells) AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm a sucker for when she bats her eyes! 

\---> Me: Yes, I just told everybody that.

\---> Lou: Get out of here and get out of my business!

\---> Me: Y'know, if I could, I would but...

\---> Lou: (groans loudly)

Lou: (hesitates) B-but...

Amanda: (coos) There might even be an award.~

Lou: (arm is locked in position and ready to throw) Uhh...um... (really unsure; grows uneasy)

Hamilton: (has been watching this entire time) Mhmmm...

\---> Hamilton: AH-HA! I knew it! Those two have some kind of thing going on! Relationship, alliance, inter-team friendship; whatever it is, it needs to stop.

Cory: (has caught on) Lou, NO. Don't you dare!

Amanda: Darling, who's more important? Moi or some random teammate?

Cory: The answer is your TEAM, Lou! That's what's more important!

Lou: (sweating) I...um....uh....(sighs; lowers arm)

Cory: (gasps) LOU!

Blackichan: The hell is that cracker doing?!

Amanda: (grunts in satisfaction) Thank you, dearie. (walks over to Lou)

Blackichan: (quickly chucks his ball at Amanda's head) Nope.

Chef: (blows whistle; Amanda's out)

[[KB: 3 || SG: 4]]

Amanda: (deep breath) I really can't be angry for that not working. That plan was not entirely thought through.

Blackichan: Clearly.

Lou: I'm sorry, m'lady!

Amanda: It's fine, darling. My fault for coming up with such a ridiculous proposal. (giddily retreats to the bleachers)

\---> Hamilton: Yeah, not exactly sure what she was thinking there.

\---> Amanda: (shrugs it off) You live and you learn, darlings.

Brooke: (throws her ball)

Lou: (throws his)

(At the same exact moment, both Brooke and Lou are hit by each other's dodgeballs.)

Chef: (blows whistle; Brooke and Lou are out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 3]]

Chris: (in awe) Never seen that happen before!

Lou: (laid out on the floor)

Cory: (walks over with Blackichan; they both stand around Lou) You deserved that, not gonna lie.

Hamilton: Quick! While they're distracted! (goes for Cory)

Samantha: Aim for their strongest link, not the weakest ones! (goes for June)

Cory: (hears Samantha; looks over at her) Hey! (Hamilton's ball takes him out) Oh come on!

Chef: (blows whistle; Cory's out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 2]]

June: (deflects Samantha's ball with her own) Ha! Gotta do better than that!

Samantha: (slants her eyes) Be careful for what you wish for, kiddo. (tosses a ball into the air; roundhouse kicks it at June)

June: (shes freezes in place) Holy Turtoxle! (WHAM! June goes flying and hits the glass wall behind her)

All: (mouths agape; total disbelief)

Samantha: (dusts off her hands) Get wrecked.

Hamilton: (sneaks in a ball while Blackichan's distracted)

Blackichan: (ball bounces off his shoulder; doesn't even budge; continues to stare at June in concern and disbelief)

Chef: (blows whistle; game's over)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 0]]

Chris: Game three goes to the Killer Bass!

(After checking up on her and seeing if she's alright, the Screaming Gophers return to the bleachers with June.)

Nicki: (alert) June! You alright?!

June: (looks up at her) Yeah, gurl! Don't even worry about it!

Rebecca: June, will you be able to continue playing?

June: Yup! I'm tougher than a Apparaven! 

Rebecca: ...That's...good to know. Are you sure you're fine with competing in another game?

June: Yup yup yup! Dodgeball's fun!

Julie: That's great and all, but if we lose another game, the challenge is done. Over with. We lose for a third time.

Cory: Would be less troublesome if you didn't jinx us. (glares)

Rebecca: No kidding. By the way, your turn to play, Julie. No getting out of it this time. Either you play, or you don't stay. What's it going to be?

Julie: (glowers at Rebecca) Fine. I'll play.

{{GAME FOUR}}

(A montage cues, briefly showing what occurs in Game Four. For the Killer Bass, Brooke, Kylie, Zane, Amanda, and Marissa are on the court. For the Screaming Gophers, Julie, June, Charles, Blackichan, and Lou are on the court.)

(Amanda is shown running around back and forth, managing to escape two dodgeballs before a thrown third one hits her, knocking Amanda off her feet.)

(Marissa is then shown getting hit by two balls in a row. After that, it shows Julie getting Zane out.)

(Brooke then throws a ball at Charles, who catches it successfully. Brooke is sent out and Chef tells Nicki to come in. She slowly makes her way onto court, frequently yawning and stretching her arms.)

(Kylie attacks with two dodgeballs, which both successfully hit and eliminate Lou and June. Zane praises her for that and gives her a high-five. The celebration doesn't last long as Zane is whacked in the head by Julie's ball.)

(Kylie is desperate to survive and succeeds in getting Charles out. She tries to get Nicki next, but Blackichan prevents that from happening. The Screaming Gophers gain their second victory. The score is tied. It is now time for the tie-breaker; Game Five.)

Chris: Guess what, kiddies? Both teams are tied, meaning...

Charles: That we must partake in a fifth bout to determine the winner? Yes, we know.

Chris: (frowns) As much as I hate to admit it, that's correct, Charles. Next time, do NOT interrupt ME! (inhales; exhales) Choose the five team members that will be playing in the final round. Be sure to pick your best players or else you can kiss victory GOODBYE! (laughs)

(Both teams start discussing who to pick when suddenly...)

Chris: Did I forget to mention that your sleeping beauties have to be apart of the final round? That's right! You heard it directly from me! Spencer and Nicki HAVE TO COMPETE in the final round!

All: WHAT?! // Are you kidding me?! // (groaning) // We're doomed. // SPAGHETTI!

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Brooke: Well that's just great! Weird, psycho, knife lover boy has to play now!

Samantha: Not a big deal. The Gophers have to use Nicki. The teams are practically equal by default right now.

Brooke: Yeah, which means our team is ALSO at a disadvantage!

Spencer: Spencer is used to hearing voices, even when sleeping, but the voices Spencer currently hears are keeping him AWAKE! (growls) Explain yourselves!

Miguel: Chris has decided that you and Nicki have to compete in the final round.

Spencer: The final round? Already? That was fast. (thinks) Alright. Spencer will do it.

Theresa: You don't have much of a choice anyways...

Spencer: If it is Spencer's decision to do it, THEN IT IS SPENCER'S DECISION TO DO IT!

Samantha: Calm down, will ya? So, now we need to decide on who's going out there with Stabby. (referring to Spencer)

Brooke: Easy. Miguel, Theresa, Hamilton, and Calvin.

Samantha: Hey, why not me? I'm kick-ass at dodgeball!

Brooke: (crosses arms) I know.

Samantha: Then what's the deal?!

Brooke: I just don't want you in it. That's all.

Hamilton: (prevents things from going sour) How about Calvin and I sit this one out and then you two can both play. What say you?

Brooke: Fiiiinnnnneeee.

Samantha: Right call. Nice work, Hamilton. (smiles)

Hamilton: (beams)

Samantha: (expression drops; stern) Don't think this make us "cool" or any crap like that. I still haven't forgotten your pathetic flirting from the second episode. (makes her way down onto the court)

Hamilton: (hangs head down low; sulks)

Calvin: (pats him on the back; pretends to care) Eh, you tried.

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

Lou: Maybe June should sit this one out? She's been in every other game.

Rebecca: What?! NO! Erm...uh...I mean, if that's her wish, then very well.

June: Nope! I wanna play!

Rebecca: Alright, that settles it. She plays.

June: WOOP!

Cory: Congrats, you got two picks figured out. Now try your best to not select the suckiest dodgeball players.

Blackichan: Hey, I ain't too bad. I'm pretty good, actually.

Rebecca: Sure, Blackichan. (taps chin) Who else, who else... (smacks forehead) Duh! Julie!

Julie: (whines) I have to play again?

Rebecca: If you think elimination suits you any better, then we can just vo--

Julie: I'm game!

Rebecca: Good. Cory?

Cory: ... (sighs) 'Kay.

Rebecca: We're prepared and ready to engage!

(Before the game starts, Chef replaces the eight dodgeballs with eight other dodgeballs. Every camper is confused as to why he's doing this. The dodgeballs look exactly the same, and the ones used for the other four games couldn't already be low on air.)

Chris: (relatively pleased) Alright, campers! This is your final shot at winning the dodgeball challenge. Now, before we begin, I just wanted to introduce you all to a new twist that's been added.

Hamilton: (concerned) Uh-oh.

Chris: The dodgeballs used prior to this game were your average dodgeballs. Nothing out of the ordinary. For this game, however, the dodgeballs you'll be using are...let's say, in a way, modified.

All: Excuse me? // We're doomed. // Not surprised. // Our teammates are gonna die now, aren't they?

Chris: These modifications won't activate unless the balls forcefully make physical contact with something, or in this case, someone. (cackles) Have fun, kiddos!

Chef: (blows whistle)

{{GAME FIVE}}

[[KB: 5 || SG: 5]]

(Everybody except Nicki and Spencer have dodgeballs. The two groggily stumble around, trying their best to stay on their feet.)

Miguel: Pffffffttttt. This'll be easy! (whips his ball at Nicki)

Nicki: (due to severe sleep deprivation, she falls forward onto her face just in time for the ball to fly overhead and miss)

Miguel: ... (facepalms)

June: Nicki, get up!

Nicki: (muffled groaning)

Cory: (talking to Blackichan) What did they do with these balls? Kinda curious... (throws his at Theresa; misses) I can't aim for shit!

Blackichan: (snickers)

Cory: (realizes what he said) Y'know what I mean, Trent!

Blackichan: Yeah,  I dunno, man. Let's find out. (his dodgeball knocks over Brooke; she gets electrocuted) HOLY CRAP!

(Everybody on the court momentarily stops playing, freaking out over what happened. The contestants in the bleachers are in a panicked frenzy.)

Chris: Campers! Campers! EVERYONE, LISTEN UP! (he gets their attention) She's fine! What Brooke experienced was ONE of the MANY modifications we made to various dodgeballs. (cracks up)

Hamilton: And just like that, I'm happy that I'm not playing.

Brooke: (coughs up smoke)

Chef: (blows whistle; Brooke's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 5]]

June: Nicki, you gotta get up! You can't just lay on the floor!

Nicki: (lifts her head; whines) Why noooooot? (Samantha's ball hits her in the head; the ball pops and covers Nicki's face with chocolate pudding)

June: That's why!

Cory: (envious) Man, I wish she had thrown that at me instead!

Chef: (blows whistle; Nicki's out)

[[KB: 4 || SG: 4]]

Samantha: (mumbles at Cory) Careful about what you wish for...HAA! (power throws the ball at Cory)

Blackichan: (sprints over; manages to catch it) Yeah!

Cory: Nice work, dude!

Blackichan: Thanks! (ball starts to heat up A LOT; his hands starts to burn) AUGGGHHHH!! YOW YOW!!! (drops it) What the hell?!

Chris: (laughing maniacally; having a great time) I love this show so much!

Chef: (blows whistle; Samantha's out; Rebecca's in)

[[KB: 3 || SG: 5]]

Blackichan: (tending to his burning hands) Could a homie get an ice pack or something???

Spencer: (takes advantage; chucks the ball at Blackichan; it hits his hands)

Blackichan: OW!!! (the dodgeball pops and pours Gatorade all over the floor) Ah, sweet! That'll do! (squats down and starts rubbing his hands in it to cool them off)

Cory: Dude, really? (BAM! Ball nails him in the head)

(The ball then bounces off of Cory and rapidly flies straight back to the thrower, Miguel, knocking him off his feet.)

Chris: Nice! I was hoping we'd see that one in action. (smiles excitedly)

Chef: (blows whistle; Blackichan, Cory, and Miguel are out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 3]]

Theresa: (sticks her tongue out at Miguel as he makes his trip back to the bleachers)

Spencer: Oi!

Theresa: Yeah?

Spencer: Let us target the redhead. (he's referring to June)

Theresa: (takes her a moment; gets who he's speaking of) Oh! Yeah, let's take care of her first.

(Both of them pelt June with their dodgeballs. June's now covered in glitter and is sneezing from an exposure to pepper. Theresa and Spencer do the same once more, this time getting out Julie.)

Julie: (covered in slime and feathers) Are you joking?!

Chris: (off-screen) NOPE!

Chef: (blows whistle; Julie and June are out)

[[KB: 2 || SG: 1]]

Rebecca: (goes wide-eyed; she's her team's last hope)

Chris: This ought to be interesting. 

(Spencer and Theresa stand on their side of the court, intimidatingly staring down Rebecca with pompous expressions on their faces.)

Cory: We are screwed. (sighs)

(Just then, somehow, Rebecca manages to get Theresa out. Theresa now smells like dirty laundry.)

Chef: (blows whistle; Theresa's out)

[[KB: 1 || SG: 1]]

Charles: (perks up) Perhaps not. If she can get out Theresa, she undoubtedly is capable of eliminating Spencer. She needs motivation.

June: (stands up; fired up) WOO! You can do it, Rebecca!

Lina: (reticently) G-good luck.

Lou: Drop the anchor on those Bass!

Screaming Gophers: (starts cheering Rebecca on)

Rebecca: (faces her team; she smiles; she's flustered but yet overwhelmed by the praise at the same time) I thank you, te--

Blackichan: YO, WATCH OUT!

Rebecca: Huh? (redirects her gaze to Spencer; his ball hits her nose first, sending her flying)

(Rebecca hits the glass wall. She slides down it until she's in sitting position. Rebecca smirks at Spencer and holds out her hands. Spencer inquisitively inspects them. Nothing's there. Rebecca slowly peers down at them in terror, not knowing where it went. Out of nowhere, a portal opens up above Chris and drops a dodgeball on him.) 

Chris: Hey! (rubs head) All of places it could of teleported, why there?! Chef!

Chef: (quickly blows the whistle and runs off to avoid Chris and any consequences for the moment)

[[KB: 1 || SG: 0]]

Spencer: (smarmy) It is another victory for Spencer and Celia. (creepily laughs) It's FUNNY when they think they stand a chance.

(The Killer Bass run over to Spencer, pick him up, and carry him out of the glass-walled Dodgeball court. They cheer and applaud continuously, once again ecstatic about claiming victory.)

Chris: (still skeptical of Chef; walks over to the Screaming Gophers) Gophers, I must say, you guys suck! Losing for a THIRD time?! (chortles) Man, you guys just can never have your way, can ya?

Rebecca: (sighs) I'll admit, I cost us victory.

Chris: (interrupts) Yes, you did.

Rebecca: (stink-eyes him) BUT, I'm not afraid to call out just how bad others on my team were.

Julie: Enough with pointing out our flaws, Miss Perfection. I think we've had enough of that for four episodes. (walks off)

Chris: Mmmmm! (rubs his stomach) Mmmm-mhm-mmmhmmm-mmm! Tension! How delicious.

Screaming Gophers: (cast odd glances at Chris)

Chris: Elimination Ceremony time, Gophers. See ya at the bonfire. (exits)

{{===Bonfire Ceremony===}}

(The Screaming Gophers arrive, once again taking their seats on the collection of tree stumps. Chris is seen standing at his podium, patiently waiting for them to seat themselves. In the back row, in order, is Charles, Rebecca, Blackichan, and Cory. In the front, Lou, Lina, Nicki, June, and Julie.)

Chris: Welcome to your THIRD elimination ceremony, Gophers. Like I said earlier, you guys stink. Really bad. Seriously, are you guys ever going to win?

Julie: Depends if a certain player goes home tonight. (glowers at Rebecca)

Rebecca: (stares daggers back)

Chris: There's that tension I know and love! Keep it up, Gophers. (cackles) You've all cast your votes and made your decision. On this plate are only eight marshmallows. Receive a marshmallow and you're safe. The camper who doesn't receive one must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, leave this island, and NEVER EVER come back. EVEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR---

Cory: WE GET IT!

Chris: Hey, no interrupting the host! I get it, you're upset that your team sucks. Too bad, so sad. (clears throat) First marshmallow goes to...June.

June: Filling up that PokeyDex! (ponders for a moment) Wait, I said that at the last Bonfire Ceremony, didn't I?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Blackichan and Lina.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Nicki and Charles.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Cory and Lou.

(Suspense and drama falls upon everybody at the ceremony, displaying the final marshmallow resting on the platter.)

Chris: Campers, this is the last marshmallow of the evening.

(Rebecca looks hopeless. Julie stares her down, not stopping for even a minute. That overly-familiar dramatic elimination ceremony campfire music cues.)

Chris: The final marshmallow goes to...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Julie.

Julie: (crosses her legs and eats her marshmallow in satisfaction)

Charles: (gasps)

Rebecca: But why?!

Julie: I'll give you a hint, but first, (in a mocking tone) let me be honest with you.

Rebecca: (waits) ...Are you going to tell-- (gets it) Oh, I see now. (remains calm) Perhaps I was too honest with some of you...or possibly even all of you. Believe me when I tell you all that I didn't mean to offend or harm. You guys needed to hear the truth so you guys could better yourselves as human beings. I wanted us to hopefully be able to win for once. Instead, I dragged us to our downfall.

Charles: (stands up) No need for the uneasiness, Rebecca. I--WE appreciate your efforts.

Lou: The other day, you did make me uncomfortable about my weight...

Rebecca: (red in the face) I dearly apologize for that.

Lou: BUT I know you were only trying to motivate me into trying to lose it.

Julie: Cut the mushy crap already, guys. She FAILED as a team leader!

Rebecca: (leers the shit out of Julie)

Julie: (saves herself) ...But hey, what do I know about leading? Must be real hard, and she tried her best, I just know it. (goes over and shakes hands with Rebecca. When it ends, Rebecca doesn't let go and pulls her in close.)

Rebecca: (whispers) The others may be fooled, but I'm not. Discontinue with your false gratitude. You better wise up and make better decisions, or else you'll be leaving here REAL soon. (releases Julie's hand and walks down the Dock of Shame)

Julie: (momentarily stunned; shoots daggers at Rebecca as she walks away)

\---> Julie: Thanks for the advice, bitch. NOT. I'm going to live up to what I said. Starting from this day forward, the Screaming Gophers have a new AND greater team leader.

{{===Dock of Shame===}}

Chris: Looks like Julie has won and might just get what she's been aiming for since day one. With her eyes set on the prize that is leadership, Julie now plans to take control of her team. Will she succeed or will somebody else snatch the reigns of that slippery sled of a team? Just how much trouble is Lou in for being aligned with Amanda? How much trouble is she in? Can Spencer be stopped from winning the challenges? Is Nicki's tired, numb face truly alright? Is Chef gonna explain what the deal was with that teleporting dodgeball that HIT ME?! Just how many other questions are there that need to be answered? Find out next time, on another GRAND episode of TOTAL DRAMA SUMMER CAMP!

(Camera statics and transitions to another scene. It shows the intern, Ben, and Chef in the main lodge, sitting at one of the tables, playing the Go Fish! card game.)

Chef: Do you got an eight?

Ben: Nope! Go fish!

Chef: (grumbles; take a card from the deck)

Ben: Got any cardboard?

Chef: (looks at his hand of cards) Cardboard...cardboard...nope. Go fi--wait, what did you say?

Ben: I said do you have any fives?

Chef: Huh. Must of misheard ya. (sighs) Dang it. (gives Ben his five)

Ben: (giggles mischievously)

Chef: Whatchu gigglin' about, boy?!

Ben: Nothing!

(The feed is cut and the screen is engulfed in static.)

~~~END~~~


	5. Not Quite Famous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The campers show what they're made of in a talent show contest! Hostility grows between two particular contestants that continue to clash and abbond grows deeper between two others!

Chris: Last time on Total Drama Summer Camp, the two teams fought it out in five rounds of Dodgeball! People got hit, distracted, knocked out, and even covered in some random substances that were in the dodgeballs. (cracks up) Gotta thank Chef for that sometime. Tension amplified between Samantha and Brooke. The rivalry between Miguel and Theresa got even more serious as the two tried to outperform each other with their tricks and stunts. There was boasting, competition, a lot of suck, a lot of skill, and yes, there was even some ship teasing here and there. Due to her being painfully honest at times, the Screaming Gophers decided that it was Rebecca's time to say goodbye. Julie is now even closer to claiming leadership of the team, and boy, is she ever happy about that. With three campers already gone, we now have nineteen more to go. See who'll stay and who'll be sent away! Right here on Total Drama Summer Camp!

(Total Drama Summer Camp theme song cues)

{{===Forest===}}

(The night's somber and gloomy. Dark clouds roll over the island, slowly growing over time. Warm and comfy in their cabin beds, the contestants slumber, hoping they'll get to sleep for a decent amount of time before Chris gives them a rude awakening. Don't be fooled, though. Not all campers are in bed, sleeping the night away. In fact, five of them have gathered together in a clearing in the woods. Four of the shadowy figures are sitting in a circle while the fifth one stands a few feet away, gazing at the campgrounds from within the forest.)

???: (relaxed sigh) It's a beautiful night outside. The crickets are chirping, the stars are twinkling. On nights like these, people like us should be--

???: Cory, quit talking to yourself and come join us! We've got important matters to discuss.

(The shadows are lifted and the five teens are revealed to be the alliance of Cory, Hamilton, Zane, Calvin, and Blackichan. Cory waddles over and plops down on his behind, enclosing the circle. Hamilton clears his throat, signaling the start of the meeting.)

Hamilton: I, Corey K. Hamilton, as the leader of this group, believe it is evident that certain people on both teams, the Killer Bass and the Screaming Gophers, must be eliminated soon. Let's begin with the Gophers. Blackichan and Cory, you can both confirm that during a round of Dodgeball last episode, it was revealed that Lou and Amanda, in some way, are in kahoots?

Blackichan: The guy let her talk him into letting her hit him with the ball! If it wasn't for me, it would of succeeded!

Hamilton: Sounds like sabotage.

Cory: It WAS sabotage. Sorta. (pause) ...Not really? Point is, the dude was willing to go against his own team just for a girl!

Zane: What's wrong with that? Love sounds like an excellent reason to throw a challenge for somebody! (sighs dreamily) Romantic, don't ya think?

Cory: (stares judgmentally) NO! Not at all! I don't care who it's for or what the reason is! Bottom line is that he threw away the challenge for a person on the OPPOSING side. The guy needs to go.

Hamilton: THAT or you and your team can find a different way of punishing him. Find a way to test his loyalty once and for all. Give the guy a second chance and see if he can redeem himself.

Cory: And if he can't or doesn't?

Hamilton: Give him the boot. That way, it's only fair. First, though, you need to come to terms with your team in order for that to go down. Otherwise, he'll be voted off a lot sooner than later.

Blackichan: Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Hamilton: No, but he still deserves a second chance. Amanda is mostly at fault here. She's more than likely manipulating Lou. Lou, in return, probably hopes for a reward of some sort in the long run.

Calvin: Like a relationship?

Hamilton: If he's attracted to her in some way, than yes, definitely. Otherwise, he probably hopes for her to take him to the final two or some bullshit like that.

Blackichan: That boy is gettin' played!

Hamilton: He most likely is. However, the next time you Gophers go to elimination, don't have Lou be the go-to pick.

Cory: (curious) Why not?

Hamilton: Julie's a bigger threat, that's why. Not to mention that she's an ass, too.

Calvin: (drinking barbecue sauce; mouth is full) Trrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeee.

Hamilton: Calvin, please, not when your mouth is full.

Cory: (looks around in caution) Try to avoid saying stuff like that, guys. Harrison could be nearby!

Blackichan: (snickers)

Hamilton: Regarding the Bass, Amanda is a choice for elimination, no questions asked.

Zane: (leers at Hamilton) And prevent a possible relationship between her and Lou from blossoming? I think not!

Hamilton: Zane, do you not understand what's going on?! There's an inter-team alliance between those two! They're not being loyal to their teams!

Zane: BUT they're being loyal to EACH OTHER. (smiles politely)

Hamilton: (facepalms and groans) Zane, we'll give her a second chance just like how the Gophers SHOULD give Lou a second chance. Is that any better?

Zane: (beams) MHM!

Hamilton: Alright. It's settled. For us Bass, we need to make sure Amanda isn't the go-to pick at our first elimination ceremony.

Calvin: Yeah, because we have a greater problem to deal with. HIM.

(The five friends nod in understanding, knowing exactly who they're talking about.)

Hamilton: He CANNOT stay around here much longer. If he does, who knows what he'll do to us. He's not rational like anybody else. To him, violence is the only answer to his problems.

Cory: Yeah. No telling what he's willing to do with that knife of his.

Zane: (frowns) I'd rather not find out.

Hamilton: None of us want to find out the answer to that, Zane. That's why you, Calvin, and I need to get enough teammates to vote for him with us. It's the only way.

Calvin: Won't be easy, though. The whole team knows about Amanda's little bond with Lou now. Then there's Brooke and Samantha who won't stop fighting over leadership. THEN there's Miguel and Theresa who won't stop bickering and trying to outdo each other...

Blackichan: Your team sounds like a mess.

Hamilton: Not going to lie, it honestly is. (sighs) Surprised that we haven't lost once yet.

Cory: Now you've done it. Congrats, you just jinxed your team.

Hamilton: (rolls eyes) I doubt it. Our team may be a mess, but yours is too. Not to mention that you guys... (hesitant) well, um...

Calvin: Suck. You guys suck. A lot.

Hamilton: What Calvin said.

Cory: Seriously, innuendos are like an invitation for him to arrive on the scene! (looks out for Harry in all directions)

Hamilton: (ignores Cory) I think we've covered what we needed to discuss. This meeting's adjourned. (smiles enthusiastically) Man, I've always wanted to say that!

(The five boys get up and exit the forest, making their way back to camp and into their cabins stealthily. They try their absolute best not to wake the others and/or raise any suspicion.)

(Once the five are completely gone, a silhouette looks from behind some trees, not too far from where the meeting was. The person intensely stares in the direction the five wandered off in.) 

{{===Flashback [1st Person View]===}}

(The corners of the screen are shrouded in white mist. The person's eyes open and close continuously. Gradually, they manage to flutter fully open. The vision is fast paced and blurry. At first, the sounds are hardly detectable and are far in the background, but they grow and become more audible. Collections of various running footsteps fill the air.)

(One after another, a bunch of square ceiling tiles, along with several ceiling lights, zip by. The place looks like a long hallway of some sort, but it's difficult to tell. People are shouting left and right. One of them looks down at the person. It's a bald, middle-aged man, who's greatly concerned but is trying his best to stay strong.)

Man: Kid, you're gonna be alright! Ya hear? You're gonna be fine! (looks at others; continues shouting) Get him in there as quick as possible! (looks back down at the kid) Don't worry, you'll be alright!

(The scene quickly fades into a void of darkness as the eyes close shut once more. The background noise slowly dies out, leaving nothing but silence.)

{{===Screaming Gophers Cabin [Males]===}}

(It is currently 6:35 AM. How Chris hasn't awoken everyone for a challenge yet comes as a surprise. Very few campers are awake and stirring. Most still slumber, enjoying all the sleeping time they're getting.)

Charles: (awoke earlier; is tranquilly reading a novel) And she dies. (sighs) How foreseeable.

Lou: (tosses and turns; capitulating sigh)

Charles: (without looking away from his novel) Can't sleep?

Lou: No, I can't. (sighs again)

Charles: Any notion of the root to the issue?

Lou: (hesitant) Feeling guilty about a decision I made yesterday.

\---> Charles: (being rhetorical) Would it happen to be you complying to Amanda's request to throw the challenge for her in the Dodgeball game?

Charles: (clucks tongue) Could always be worse, I'm sure.

Lou: (staring up at the bottom of the bunk above him) ...Maybe.

\---> Lou: Why did Amanda do that in the middle of the challenge?! Did she think nobody would hear or see what was going on? I'm confused!

{{===Killer Bass Cabin [Males]===}}

Hamilton: (sleeping soundly in his bed)

Spencer: (intently glaring at him as he fumbles his knife, Celia, around in his hands)

\---> Spencer: They'll pay for their mistakes. ALL OF THEM!

Chris on Loudspeaker: Wakey wakey, campers! No more time to sleep! Get ready for today because you'll be showing what you're made of!

Spencer: (eyes dart to the window) ... (leers once more at Hamilton sleeping) Tch. (gets up; leaves the cabin)

Hamilton: (cracks an eye open; shudders)

\---> Hamilton: Spencer sends shivers down my spine. He needs to get out of here before he hurts someone. I know from experience that he's not good at letting things go, especially the past. (sighs) I could of done something back then.

{{===Outdoor Amphitheater===}}

(Two sets of wooden bleachers stand by one another. Screaming Gophers are seated in the ones on the left, Killer Bass are on the right. In front of them is a poorly made stage with patchy curtains, making it look like a giant quilt of some sort. One tall stage light stands by each side of the miniature amphitheater as several smaller stage lights hang up above the stage.)

Kylie: (recognizes the scenery; smiles) I'm liking the looks of this.

Hamilton: Why's that? You a fan of amphitheater or something?

Kylie: I'm in the drama club back at school. I want to be an actress when I'm older, so I do a lot of work in theater.

Hamilton: Nice! How long has it been?

Kylie: I've been at it for a few years now.

Hamilton: You must be rather good with that many years of practice.

Kylie: People have told me before that I'm really good. (scratches back of head) I'd say I'm at least decent.

Hamilton: I can't say anything because I haven't seen you act, but hey, if people are telling you that, you might want to take their word for it.

Kylie: Yeah, probably. Alexis thinks I'm going to become a big shot in the future or something. (chuckles) Her sometimes, I swear...

Hamilton: (raises eyebrow) Who?

Kylie: Some friend of mine back home.

Hamilton: Ah. (nods) Cool.

(Meanwhile, Zane has a huge grin spread across his face as he sees Lina sitting next to Cory in the other bleachers.)

Lina: (scoots closer to Cory; smiles) H-hello.

Cory: (doesn't look at her; grunts)

Lina: So... (nervously taps feet) H-how are y-you?

Cory: (about to respond)

Chris: (walks onstage) Diggin' our outdoor, deluxe amphitheater, everyone? Whether you do or don't, I don't care. Today's challenge is a classic, summer camp favorite -- a talent show!

Kylie: (fist pumps) Knew it!

Chris: Each team must pick their three most talented campers. Those three will represent their team in the show tonight. You all get eight hours to decide. Sing, dance, juggle, play an instrument, whatever. Anything goes as long as it's legal. (eyes Spencer)

Spencer: (frowns in disappointment)

Chris: Originally, I was going to have Chef judge your performances, but instead I picked out a cameo for that.

Charles: Seriously, why are there cameos?! It's the first season!

Chris: Charles, the more you ask that, the less of an answer you'll get each time.

Charles: It's a justifiable question that deserves a rational answer!

Chris: HUSH! I'd like all of you to meet today's cameo...METTATON!

(Complete silence. Nothing happens.)

Chris: I said...METTATON!

(Still nothing. The campers look around in confusion and curiosity, wondering where the cameo is.)

Oliver: (walks onstage; hands Chris a slip of paper)

Chris: What's this? (reads it; displeased) Okay, scratch that. Apparently we can't have cameos of that variety. (chippers up) Good thing I picked out a backup cameo!

Charles: What?!

Chris: Everyone, please welcome this episode's TRUE cameo, Constance!

(In a sudden puff of purple smoke, a figure appears onstage. She poses proudly, throwing her arms in the air in succession of her trick. The smoke disperses, revealing a teenage, female magician. She dons a black top hat with a pink band stretching around it. Constance has blue eyes, long black hair, and has two piercings in her left ear, one in her right ear, and a nose ring. Accompanied by dark blue shorts is a white top with an unbuttoned tux thrown over it. Just below her neck is a little red bow-tie. Concluding her jazzy entrance, she takes a bow. The campers applaud and cheer loudly, visibly impressed by her entry.)

June: (clapping rapidly) Woo-hoo! Way to go, girl-I-don't-know! You killed it! (continuously woops)

Theresa: And I thought I was good at making an entrance. (clapping at a regular pace)

Cory: (does so-so hand gesture) Eh.

Chris: Constance will be showing her approval via The Chef-O--errr, The Constance-O-Meter! Losing team will be sending another player home tonight. Break a leg out there, campers!

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

(REMINDER: This team consists of Blackichan, Charles, Cory, Julie, June, Lina, Lou, and Nicki.)

Julie: As new team leader, I'll finalize the decisions on who'll perform tonight.

Charles: New team leader?

Julie: Yes Charles, new team leader. With Rebecca gone now, somebody's got to take over. Why not me?

Blackichan: (narrows eyes in suspicion) 

\---> Julie: Admitting this isn't easy, but besides me, Rebecca was the only one able to lead a team. Charles and Blackichan are probably close seconds at best, if at all. The others though? They couldn't lead a team to save their lives. That's why I'm the obvious choice. Last thing we need is somebody like Lina being leader, or hell, even June. (shudders) Yeah, NO.

Julie: You're all fine with me being team leader now, right? Any objections?

Cory: (about to raise hand)

Blackichan: (restrains his arm from raising; shakes his head)

Cory: ... (reluctantly nods in understanding)

\---> Cory: Something about this seems very familiar and I don't like it.

Julie: Good. Everyone will audition in alphabetical order to determine who'll be performing later tonight. That means that first up is...Blackichan.

Blackichan: (smiles; stands up) Sweet!

Julie: What's your talent?

Blackichan: I've got multiple talents.

Julie: Like what?

Blackichan: I can dunk on people.

Julie: (blinks) ...What?

Blackichan: I can also rap and beat-box!

\---> Charles: Talk about stereotypes...

Blackichan: I can play the guitar, too!

Julie: Are you any good?

Blackichan: Am I any good?! Of course I am! Been practicing since I was ten.

Julie: Prove it.

Blackichan: (nonchalantly shrugs) Sure. 

(Blackichan runs into the male Screaming Gophers' cabin to retrieve his guitar. He comes running back with it in hand, anxiously awaiting to play it.)

Blackichan: Any song in particular that you want me to play?

Julie: Doesn't matter.

Blackichan: (shrugs once more) Alright. This one is from a show I really like. (starts strumming)

(Less than a quarter-way through Blackichan's audition, Nicki begins to tap her foot to the song. She smiles knowingly, recognizing the song. June recognizes the tune as well and gets excited. Nicki, unexpectedly, starts singing the lyrics aloud. She sings beautifully and on key.)

Nicki: ♫ "Oh I know it'll be great and I just can't wait to see the person you are together. If you give it a chance, you can do a huge dance because you are a humongous lady. You might even like being together and if you don't, it won't be forever." ♫

(At this point, everybody else is in awe and has their eyes focused on Nicki. Blackichan has even stopped playing, his attention caught by Nicki's wondrous singing. Nicki doesn't notice, as she sings with her eyes closed, moving in rhythm with the song.)

Nicki: ♫ "But if it were me, I'd really wanna be a humongous lady, a humongous lady! All I wanna do is see you turn into a humongous lady~." ♫ (shes stops and takes a deep breath)

(She opens her eyes just to see everybody else staring at her in awe. Nicki shifts uncomfortably, a little embarrassed of herself.)

Nicki: Heh..I must of...gotten a little too carried away there, huh? Heh-heh-he... (goes silent; more uncomfortable shifting)

(The team begins to applaud, even Blackichan. Julie nods her approval at Nicki's unexpected performance. Nicki's face flushes as she timidly and humbly accepts the praising. She feels her face grow warmer, so she tries to hide it a little by looking shyly down at the ground.)

Nicki: Thanks, guys. Th-that's very kind.

Blackichan: Man, we didn't know you could sing. Why didn't ya tell us?

Nicki: Dunno. Bringing it up never crossed my mind.

June: You were planning on singing for your audition anyways, right? (before Nicki can answer) Of course you were! No doubt about it! With singing like that, you'll blow them stanky fish outta the water!

Nicki: Uhh, no. I was planning on deejaying for the talent show.

Charles: Suddenly feeling disorganized. I don't approve of feeling this. Elaborate on why deejaying over singing?

Nicki: Cause being a deejay is what I wanna be a pro at. Never really considered singing my thing...or a talent of mine.

June: (wide-eyed and in Nicki's face) WHAT?! Did you not know before of how good you sing?!

Charles: (corrects her) How WELL you sing.

June: (sticks her tongue at him) Nyeh! (back at Nicki) How have you not noticed how well you can sing?!

Nicki: I tend to...not sing with others around. Guess nobody has ever heard me, so...nobody really knew until now? It's not a big deal, guys.

Julie: (steps forward) Actually, it is. If we're going to win tonight's challenge, which WE ARE, then you're gonna have to sing. What you sing doesn't really matter.

Nicki: What about me deejaying with my turntables?

Julie: Forget it. We've found our winning act. No offense, Blackichan.

Blackichan: (shrugs it off) None taken.

June: (nudges Nicki) Aww, come on! Why do you sound so disappointed? You've got this talent show in the POKEYBALL, girl!

Nicki: Just wanted to display my awesome deejaying skills to everyone. But hey, if me singing is a guaranteed victory for us, then I'll do it.

Blackichan: Right on. (smiles and nods)

June: YES! High-five for that AND for liking Stephen Galaxy! (throws her hand high into the air; waits patiently)

Nicki: (snickers; high-fives June)

Julie: Alright, so we have Nicki and Blackichan. That's two out of three already. This challenge is OURS. (smiles confidently)

{{===Killer Bass===}}

(REMINDER: This team consists of Amanda, Brooke, Calvin, Hamilton, Kylie, Marissa, Miguel, Samantha, Spencer, Theresa, and Zane.)

(Samantha and Brooke are arguing with one another over who gets to decide who'll perform for the talent show. Nothing out of the usual here, just the same old bickering. At this point, everybody has stopped listening and caring. Hamilton steps up with a big grin, getting everybody's attention by whistling a few times.)

Hamilton: Ladies, please, enough with the bickering. We're going to win tonight's challenge, alright? We'll make sure of that. First, though, I'll be deciding who'll be performing.

Brooke: Since when do YOU make the calls?

Hamilton: Since NOW. Until you two can stop arguing and grow up, I'll be the one making sure that our team gets the challenge done. Now, I say that Amanda performs.

Amanda: (eyes fly open) Pardon?

Hamilton: You owe us.

Amanda: I do? For wh-- (stops dead in her tracks; she hangs her head; she knows)

Hamilton: You know what. Last episode. The dodgeball challenge, remember? You weren't too subtle with hiding your little alliance with Lou.

Amanda: It was to help our team. If it wasn't for that hooligan, Tacky-Dan--

Hamilton: (corrects her) Blackichan.

Amanda: (goes on) It would of succeeded. Lou would of been out, making the round easier for us to win.

Hamilton: It's great that you wanted to screw over the Gophers like that, but it doesn't change the fact that you're in an alliance with him. That alliance ends NOW.

Samantha: Woah woah woah, let's not get hasty. This alliance of hers...might not be a bad thing after all.

Hamilton: Don't be ignorant. Of course it is.

Samantha: I'm NOT being ignorant. Perhaps you are. Amanda here could use this "alliance" to her advantage. If she can get Lou to throw challenges for her like that more often, we'll have an upper hand. Lou would get eliminated for betrayal and we'd have one less Gopher to deal with.

Hamilton: You're encouraging this behavior?! How do we know she isn't going to betray her team as well?

Brooke: (stands up to Samantha as well) Yeah! She definitely owes us.

Amanda: But I wouldn't betray our team, darlings! I swear!

Samantha: See? She's trustworthy!

Hamilton: Trustworthy? You must be joking. She made an inter-team alliance. An alliance with a fellow team member or fellow team members is one thing, but an alliance with a person from the other team? That's already an act of betrayal! She's aligned with the competition!

Brooke: I agree. She either proves herself later today or goes home.

Samantha: Don't you guys get it?! With this alliance of hers, she can destroy the Gophers from the inside! We'd be beating the Gophers easier than ever before! They'd be dropping like flies!

Hamilton: ENOUGH!!!

Everyone: (dead silent)

Hamilton: Amanda is one of our performers tonight and that's final. ANY objections?

Amanda: (rockets her arm into the air) Mr. Hamilton, I've got a question.

Hamilton: (stern) What?

Amanda: What will my performance be?

Hamilton: Whatever you're good at.

Amanda: All I excel in is fashion and producing dresses. The process of making a dress is very time consuming and cannot be done in a single day.

Brooke: Not to mention it's boring as hell.

Amanda: (instant death stare at Brooke) EXCUSE ME?!

Killer Bass: (start clamoring amongst themselves in anticipation of a possible fight)

Hamilton: NO! DON'T EVEN START! (shuts everyone up) Amanda, you better find something to do for the show tonight or else you're guaranteed to leave.

Amanda: (eyes widen) What?! B-but--

Hamilton: Hey, you brought this upon yourself. I'm generous enough to give you a second chance tonight.

Kylie: Not much of a second chance.

Hamilton: It's still a second chance. Not giving her one would be declaring her as the one to leave, regardless of what happens tonight. That'd be the unfair route to the situation.

Brooke: She did form an alliance with a Gopher, after all.

Samantha: Just throwing it out there again that it could help us.

Hamilton: Let's not bring that up again, okay? Amanda must be one to perform tonight. ANY objections?

Zane: (speaks up) If it keeps you guys from fighting more, then no, I don't object.

Hamilton: Alright. ANY objections at all?

(Nobody raises their hand. Samantha almost does, but lowers it immediately, possibly having second thoughts. Amanda looks on anxiously at the lack of objection to her having to perform.)

Amanda: (bites her lip nervously)

Hamilton: (nods) Then it's settled.

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

(REMINDER: This team consists of Blackichan, Charles, Cory, Julie, June, Lina, Lou, and Nicki.)

Julie: Alright Charles, you're up.

Charles: (reading a book) I'd suggest not even bothering with me. I'm not endowed with expertise or dexterity on anything other than science and factual information on numerous materials.

Julie: Which is perfect for a talent show in your case. People eat science experiments up!

Charles: (peeks over book at Julie) What do you expect me to do? Swish, stir, and mingle liquid chemicals together in an Erlenmeyer flask for the ambition of provoking an explosive reaction?

Julie: Why not? People will--

Charles: Eat that stuff up. Yes, I've received the message you're sending here.

Julie: If anybody else on the team has a better talent to display, you won't have to perform. That sound any better?

Charles: Undoubtedly.

Julie: Moving on, Cory's next on the list.

Cory: (deadpan) Joy.

Julie: What you got?

Cory: Nothing.

Julie: This isn't time for joking around, Cory.

Cory: Not joking here. I literally got nothing. I'm not talented in any way at all.

Julie: (irritated expression; raises eyebrow)

Cory: (shrugs) Just being honest with you. Take my word on it.

Julie: (sighs; rubs her eyes and the bridge of her nose) Cory, I... (hesitates; says nothing) 

Cory: What?

Julie: Nothing. Nevermind it.

Cory: (narrows eyes) Aight. (sits back down next to Blackichan)

Julie: (takes a breather) Okay. Uhhh...next. Please.

(Nobody rises up to audition. Julie opens her eyes and gazes around, wondering why nobody is doing anything.)

Julie: I said NEXT!

Lou: ...You're next, Julie.

Julie: Oh. (gradually gets up) So I am.

(Everybody awaits to see what Julie has in store. Julie looks amongst her team, knowing that they're anticipating just what grand feat for the talent show she'll be doing.) 

Julie: (takes her time) ...So I am.

{{===Killer Bass===}}

(REMINDER: This team consists of Amanda, Brooke, Calvin, Hamilton, Kylie, Marissa, Miguel, Samantha, Spencer, Theresa, and Zane.)

 

Calvin: (chugging down an entire bottle of barbecue sauce)

(The entire team practically watches this in horror, except for Samantha and Spencer, who are not even phased. Amanda is not there, but is instead elsewhere, trying to figure out what she'll do for the show. Meanwhile, Calvin finally finishes the entire bottle off.)

Calvin: (swallows the remaining BBQ sauce) Yes! (lifts arms in victory; drops bottle and clutches his stomach immediately) Hoo-boy...

Hamilton: (approaches him) Yeah, that was too much barbecue sauce, don't ya think?

Calvin: (stands up and grabs him by the shirt collar) NO! There can NEVER be too much barbecue sauce! NEVER! (grabs stomach again) Ooohhh no...

Hamilton: Alright, alright! I hear ya! (collar is let go) Yeesh. (dusts self off) Calvin, hate to break it to ya, but you won't be performing for the talent contest.

Calvin: (shrugs) Fine with me. That was more for me than it was an audition for the talent show.

Hamilton: Good to know you aren't upset to hear that. In the meantime, go rest. You aren't going to feel well for awhile after that.

Calvin: (nods; clutching abdomen) Good chance for me to go catch up on some manga. (burps) Excuse me. (slowly walks his way back to the cabins)

Miguel: Señor Hamilton, it would be best if somebody as talented as yo, Miguel, performed for the show, sí?

Hamilton: To be fair, you are capable of pulling off some amazing stunts...

Theresa: Oh no you don't! (shoves Miguel aside) If anybody's going to perform tonight, getting a chance at glory and spotlight, it should be me! (pleadingly looks at Hamilton) Don't you agree?

Hamilton: Honestly, you're very capable of performing amazing stunts, too, so I mean we could just--

Miguel: (pushes her aside) Pick her, and you doom our entire team! I'm the best choice this team has! ...No offense to everyone else here, of course.

Hamilton: Yeah, I get that. You're probably right, but--

Theresa: (pushes him aside again) Are you seriously thinking of choosing this lame-o over me?! Remember when I arrived at the island and I did a triple front flip off the bow of a boat and landed perfectly?!

Hamilton: Absolutely. Who could forget seeing tha--

Miguel: (pushes her aside again) I had a magnificent introduction to the island as well! Let us not forget my amazing feats during the dodgeball tournament in the last episode.

Theresa: (up in his face) Oh please, my tricks during that challenge were a ton better than yours!

Hamilton: Hey, they were all great stuff. Nobody else here can do those kind of thi--

Miguel: Buzz off, will ya?!

Theresa: How about YOU buzz off!

Miguel: I'm performing tonight! NOT YOU!

Theresa: WRONG, YA MORON! I'm the greatest chance we have at winning tonight!

Miguel: NO! I AM! You'll screw it up for us!

Theresa: You'll be the one messing things up, Miguel! NOT ME!

Hamilton: HOLY S**T YOU GUYS, SHUT UP!!! YOU'LL BOTH PERFORM!

(Startled by Hamilton's outburst, the Killer Bass go dead silent. Miguel and Theresa, side by side, both stare in shock at him. They both turn to one another and gain a smug expression, looking at each other in a cocky fashion.)

Theresa & Miguel: HA! See? Told you he'd pick me--WAIT, WHAT?! (both turn and peer at Hamilton once more)

Hamilton: I said you'll both be performing.

Theresa: ...

Miguel: ...

Theresa & Miguel: Huh. Okay.// I'm actually okay with that.// Ya, that could actually work.

Hamilton: Together.

Theresa & Miguel: (expressions drop) Huh?

\---> Zane: How cute! (giggles) They were both talking and reacting simultaneously. (more chuckling and giggling) I SHIP IT!

Hamilton: That's right. Since you two wouldn't shut up, quit arguing, and make up like reasonable, mature people, you'll BOTH be performing tonight. TOGETHER. For one act.

Theresa & Miguel: (furious) Are you joking?!// With him/her?!// He/she will screw me up!!// He/she will only ruin the challenge for us!// This is unbelievable!// Just choose one of us instead!

Hamilton: (bellows) QUIET! No more from you two! With the amount of time we've been given, I'm sure you two can find a way to set aside your differences, work together just for a little bit, and get an act put together for the show tonight. Shouldn't be too hard considering how incredibly talented you both are.

Theresa & Miguel: B-b-but--

Hamilton: Nuh-uh! That's enough, guys.

Samantha: Let's make this more interesting, shall we? Hear me out on this; if Theresa and Miguel don't perform well or don't get an act gathered together for the show at all, and we lose the challenge, one of them should go home. Might as well since we already have the same stipulation going for Amanda.

Theresa: (dumbfounded) WOAH! What?!

Miguel: (angry) NO BUENO! Yo no quiero esto!

Hamilton: For once, I agree with you Samantha. Yeah...let's go with that. Great idea, Sam.

Samantha: Yeah yeah, don't be trying to come onto me.

Hamilton: Come onto you?! I wasn't--

Samantha: You sure? I still remember you doing so in Episode 2.

Hamilton: (feels a bunch of eyes on him) T-that...was then. This is now. I don't do that anymore.

Samantha: (smirks) Uh-huh.

Hamilton: S-seriously! I mean it! I wasn't flir--

Samantha: Cool it, dude. (stretches) Just messing with ya.

Hamilton: O-of course you were. My bad.

Samantha: Yeah, yeah. Save it. I'm auditioning next.

Zane: (can hardly stay seated)

\---> Zane: LOVE is in the aiiiiiiirrrrrrr!~

{{===Cabins===}}

(Outside and around the cabins is Amanda, nervously walking in circles and mumbling to herself. She stops every once in a while, just to impatiently tap her foot. Amanda then resumes walking in circles again for awhile, until Lou arrives. She looks up and gives off a faint smile. Lou approaches nervously, cautiously spinning his head around to look out for any of the other contestants.)

Amanda: Darling, we need to talk.

Lou: Don't we ever. (on the look out for others)

Amanda: Our alliance has been discovered.

Lou: No offense, ma'am, but you revealed it yourself with your actions last episode. Nobody discovered it, really.

Amanda: Lou, I know, and we need to act. My team is not at all happy with me.

Lou: Neither is mine, but we can't blame them. I feel so stupid for letting myself get into this.

Amanda: Lou, it is my fault, okay? You are such a gentleman, and I got carried away--

Lou: Madame, no need to blame yourself. I should of thought of it myself and nobody would have to know anything.

Amanda: That's sweet, Lou. It really is. (bites lip) Problem is, my team will kick me off if I don't perform tonight or perform well enough.

Lou: What?! Why?! (takes a moment; facepalms) Right, right.

Amanda: How is your team treating you after the incident? Any better than mine?

Lou: Seems okay thus far. They haven't said much to me. Whether I'm good at something or not, it might not matter. They might make me perform regardless, just like how the Bass is doing with you.

Amanda: (shakes head) Ruthless. Lou, dear, if you must perform tonight, if they make you, can you please throw the challenge?

Lou: What? AGAIN? (appears rather unsure)

Amanda: Just this once more, Lou, please. I'm begging you. Just...perform your worst tonight if you have to. For me. (pleading) They'll kick me off tonight FOR SURE! I have nothing to show off! All I can do is make dresses and those take days, sometimes weeks to make! I don't have that kind of time!

Lou: Okay. If they make me perform, I'll throw the challenge for you, ma'am.

Amanda: Promise? (pleading eyes)

\---> Lou: Oh come on! The begging was enough as is! Now with the sad eyes? (groans)

Lou: (hesitant) ...I promise.

Amanda: Thank you so much, dearie! (quickly hugs Lou) Get back to your team at once. If anybody finds out about this...

Lou: Right. (nods) Yes, ma'am. Going at once. (waddles off to his team)

Amanda: (goes back to hers)

{{===Killer Bass===}}

Samantha: (smashing planks of wood into shards and debris with punches, chops, and kicks)

(The Killer Bass frequently duck the shards of wood that happen to fly at them from to time. For her entire act, all Samantha does is physically destroy a bunch of wood planks.)

Marissa: (ducks the wooden projectiles) There goes a lot of potential firewood.

Miguel: Chris makes the bonfires, not us. I think we're good.

Brooke: Even if we did, the wood would still be salvageable.

Samantha: (high-kicks one last wooden plank; smirks and bows)

Hamilton: (blinks) Well...that'll uh...definitely be considered as a talent we'll show off tonight.

Samantha: (face to face with Hamilton) Better be.

\---> Hamilton: She often comes off as hostile when she speaks to me. (pauses) ...It's because I flirted with her back in episode two, isn't it?

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

 

\---> Julie: A talent, huh? Oh, I'll show them a talent. (smug)

(Julie returns to her team, who have been anticipating what her audition will be. She had excused herself for a few moments, saying she needed something for it. Nobody had an idea as to what that object was until Julie returned with a top hat.)

Julie: That Constance girl isn't the only one good at stage magic. (shows the top hat to her team; simply pulls out a rabbit) See? I know how this stuff works.

\---> Charles: Simple magic doesn't come off as very extraordinary. To really get pointers in tonight's show, Julie's going to have to realize that more abstruse tricks are key.

\---> Cory: (sarcastic) Oh wow, a bunny! What will she pull out of the hat next? A bouquet of flowers? (eye roll)

Julie: (tosses the rabbit aside) There's more. Watch. (pulls out a bouquet of flowers)

\---> Cory: Are you f***ing sh***ing me?

Julie: (pulls out a Pokeyball; tosses it aside)

\---> June: (holding that same Pokeyball) How the heck did this get in there?

Julie: (flips the hat right-side up and shakes it) Nothing in the hat. (she even reaches in to prove so; shows it to everybody) See? Nothing there. (places it on Lina's head)

Lina: (tries to gaze upwards at the hat on her head) W-what are you d-do--

Julie: (picks the hat up; a turtle is on Lina's head)

Lina: (little gasp; relocates the turtle onto her lap) How did this turtle get there?

June: (leans over; whispers) Magic! (jazz hands)

Julie: (smirks)

\---> Julie: Performing for the contest tonight or not, I don't care. I've proven my worth. I've proven my value as an individual and leader of this team thus far. All great leaders are successful and talented. That includes me. (satisfied expression)

{{===Killer Bass===}}

(The entire team, intimidated, is staring at a tree that has been pierced multiple times. A single kitchen knife is wedged deep into the tree's bark, there from being thrown with force. Sunlight beams down on it, casting rays across the hilt and the name "Celia" etched into it.)

Spencer: (smirks; plucks the knife out of the bark) Shall Spencer throw it once more?

Hamilton: N-no no, that won't be necessary.

Spencer: (snaps and growls at him) Don't tell Spencer what to do with his Celia! (clutches Celia and presses "her" against his chest)

(The other Killer Bass, confused, frightened, and disturbed, just stare for a protracted amount of time. Spencer, paying no attention to them, proceeds cuddling Celia.)

Marissa: We'll...think about putting you into the show, Spencer. (nervous laugh) That okay?

Spencer: (ceases cuddling Celia; eyes slowly shift to gaze down at Marissa) ...Spencer will wait for an answer in the meantime.

\---> Miguel: People like him are why I sleep con uno ojo abierto. He try anything funny, I'll use that knife of his AGAINST him.

\---> Kylie: Good thing I'm not one of the guys. Sleep in the same room as Spencer? Yeah, NO THANKS! I'd rather sleep outside on the roof.

Hamilton: Ey, Kylie, how 'bout you audition? If you're as good as your friend said you are, or even better, than you might just the win the challenge for us.

Kylie: (stutters) M-Me?

\---> Kylie: (facepalms) Really?! Use words, Kylie!

Hamilton: (eye roll) No, the other Kylie. Yeah you! Why not show us just how good of an actress you actually are?

Kylie: O-okay! Yeah! I'm up for it. Let's do this! (determined)

{{===Screaming Gophers===}}

Julie: Due to his misbehavior last episode, and for being in an inter-team alliance in general, Lou will NOT be performing for the challenge tonight. No way, no how.

Blackichan: To him, that might be more of a favor than a punishment.

Julie: He can consider it any way he wants. Doesn't change the facts, though. Also doesn't change how his sorry ass will be leaving soon.

Lou: I'm right here, y'know...

(Lou is indeed right there amongst everybody else as they discuss what his position, if one at all, will be in the challenge tonight. Lou sits down, sighing, feeling helpless as ever.)

June: (bored out of her mind; quickly tosses a Pokeyball under her leg) Swoosh! (it bounces off a nearby tree, bonks Cory in the head, and lands in Blackichan's hands)

Nicki: (mouth agape) ...Woah. (silence; suddenly hyped) Gnarly trick shot!

Charles: (with distaste) Gnarly?

June: Trick shots? Oh, pfffft! (dismissive wave) They're nothing. (pause) Ah, who am I kidding? That was pretty awesome, wasn't it?! Hang on, I'll do another!

Julie: Yeah, I think we've found our three performers for the challenge tonight.

June: (flattered; dismissive wave) D'aaawwwww, thanks, Julie!

Julie: (deadpan) Wasn't talking about you, June.

June: (muddled) Huh?

Julie: Blackichan, Nicki, and I will be performing tonight. Not you. We've got our three winning acts.

Nicki: Woah, woah, woah! Says who?! Can't we, like, replace one of those acts with June's? She's got cool stuff! Everybody will love her trick shots!

Julie: More than magic? I think not.

Nicki: Um, YEAH! Come on, basic, simple magic? We're not little kids anymore, y'know? Trick shots, though? Greatest stuff the show is gonna offer! (wide grin)

Julie: NO! The auditions are over, the three auditions are confirmed and finalized, and that's THAT. Got it?

(Julie proceeds to storm off before anybody can respond. June sulks a little while Nicki glowers in Julie's direction.)

\---> Nicki: What's that chick's deal? Taking the role as team captain without any voting? Being bossy as hell? Not giving others a chance to participate or prove themselves? Like, not cool. Then she rejects June and her sweet trick shots? Like, extremely not cool. This Julie chick sucks.

{{===Outdoor Amphitheater===}}

(On screen in front of a flashy background are the two team icons, shown clashing into one another as Chris voices over the visual, opening up the talent show.)

Chris: It's the TDSC Challenge Extravaganza! (revealed to be on stage) Welcome one, welcome all to the very first Camp Wawanakwa talent contest! Six campers, for this challenge, will be showcasing their mad skills and will desperately try to NOT humiliate themselves, although I'm sure they'll still find a way to do so. Also remember that Constance is judging these acts, so be sure to be flashy -- or do some magic tricks or whatever. Either one will surely raise the pointers she'll give ya.

Theresa: Where is she anyways?

Chris: Behind the scenes, that's where. Chef is back there with her, showing her how to operate the Constance-O-Meter. Back on track, the Screaming Gophers will be starting this challenge off with a performance by Blackichan! Take it away, dude! (waltz offstage)

(The curtains open up, unveiling Blackichan sitting on a stool with his guitar in hand. He starts strumming the same tune he played during his audition.)

Blackichan: (clears throat) This song is from a show I really like. (begins to sing) ♫ All I wanna do is see you turn into a humongous lady, A humongous lady! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a humongous lady. ♫

\---> Marissa: What kind of show has that guy been watching? People turning into huge women? Where's the appeal in that?

((MEANWHILE...))

{{===Break Room===}}

(In Chris and Chef's break room, which the interns sneak into and use all the time, has a round table, several cheap, plastic chairs surrounding it, and a few kitchen counters. There's also a fridge, a microwave, a toaster, and a coffee maker. Oliver is standing next to the coffee maker, leaning back on the kitchen counter upon which the beverage-making machine stands. Oliver has ditched his foam cup and is now straight-up drinking the coffee from the pitcher. This guy sometimes, I swear.)

Constance: (walks in; looking all around)

Oliver: (eyes her; casually imbibes from the coffee pitcher)

Constance: (does more searching)

Oliver: (quaffs more coffee)

Constance: (more inspecting)

Oliver: (smacks lips a few times) Looking for something?

Constance: Yes, my top hat. You've seen it?

Oliver: Can't say I have. (more coffee sipping; awkward silence)

Constance: ...

Oliver: ...

Constance: ...

Oliver: ...Want some? (offers some coffee)

Constance: No thanks. (searches some of the cabinets)

Oliver: Good. I honestly wanted it all to myself anyways. (chugs down the rest)

Constance: Darn it! (closes a cabinet; frustrated sigh) Where could it be? I had it with me earlier...

Oliver: What are you looking for again?

Constance: (annoyed expression)

Oliver: Oh right, your hat. Do ya remember where you had it last?

Constance: Yeah, I placed it down on a table in that run-down trailer that Chris had me rent for the episode. Starting to think McLean took it. Probably to tick me off.

Oliver: Or to wear it...or practice magic. Doesn't seem like something Chris would do, though.

Constance: Either way, I'm not leaving this island without it.

Oliver: Can't you just buy a new one instead?

Constance: ("tired-of-your-shit" expression)

Oliver: Nevermind. (already making a new batch of coffee)

Constance: Would Krystal or Ben happen to have it?

Oliver: You really expect me to know?

Constance: (aggravated sigh) I don't know. I just want to find my hat, okay? (realization) Aw, crap! I need to get back to rating the performances for the challenge! (sprints off)

Oliver: See ya. (waits for the new batch of coffee to finish)

Ben: (comes crawling in on all fours with a big cardboard box on his back) Hi, Oliver! Who were you talking to?

Oliver: Constance. (stares) Ben, what are you doing?

Ben: I'm pretending to be a box turtle. (ba-dum-tss!) Ehh? Eh? (shit-eating grin)

Oliver: Heh. (small smile) I get it.

Ben: Oh! Maybe this can be my role for my next big film!

Oliver: (shrugs) Maybe. Knock yourself out.

Ben: Wouldn't that hurt, though?

Oliver: ... (casually sips steaming coffee from the pitcher)

Ben: (wide-eyed; impressed) Doesn't that burn?

Oliver: (shrugs) Yeah, but you get used to it.

{{===Outdoor Amphitheater===}}

Blackichan: (finishing up his song) ♫ All I wanna do is see you turn into a humongous lady~. ♫

Everybody: Woo!// Way to go, dude!// ENCORE! ENCORE!// What kind of show have you been watching?!

Chris: (walks onstage over to Blackichan) Dude! Awesome song! Not only do I and the other campers think that was good, but so does Constance! (points upwards at the Constance-O-Meter) Check it out! 6 out of 9!

Blackichan: (waving to those in the bleachers) Sweet! Thanks, guys! (gets up and takes the stool with him when exiting the stage)

Chris: What a strong start for the Gophers! Can the Bass do better with their first act?

Samantha: (marches onstage) You bet your ass we will! Move aside, McLean! (shoves him offstage)

Chris: Waahhh! (does the Wilhelm scream; falls onto the ground)

Hamilton: (rushes onstage carrying a huge, stacked pile of wooden planks) I got 'em, don't worry. (sets them down in front of Samantha)

Samantha: Thanks. (stretches her legs and arms; stands up straight and tall; closes eyes and takes a deep breath)

Everyone: ...

Samantha: ...

Everyone: ...

Samantha: ...

Everyone: ...

Samantha: ...

Marissa: Why is she just standing ther--

Samantha: HIYA! (karate chops a plank in half) YA! (kicks another into tiny bits)

Hamilton: (climbs back onstage; picks up the planks and starts throwing them into the air)

Samantha: (spin kicks one; uppercuts another)

(Some parts of the wood start flying into the bleachers at the contestants. Some of it are just splinters and shards and the such. The rest are big chunks, easily capable of delivering a decent amount of pain.)

Lou: (gets nailed in the face by a chunk of wood) Ow! My forehead!

Cory: Ha! Serves you rig-- (gets smacked in the mouth by a big piece of wood) Damnit! Me and my big mouth... (rubbing mouth)

Samantha: (punts a plank of wood into a mid-air plank of wood)

(The remains of those wooden planks go flying into one of the stage lights hanging above, knocking it down to the ground. Its glass shatters into a bunch of pieces. Samantha, not giving a damn, proudly crosses her arms as a conclusion to her little show.)

Everybody: ... (randomly start cheering like crazy)

Chris: Well... (accompanies Samantha onstage) That was certainly something. Let's see what Constance thinks!

Constance-O-Meter: 4/9

Samantha: Are you kidding me?!

Chris: Yikes. She must not be a fan of destruction.

Samantha: She must not have any good taste. I think that's the problem here. (storms offstage)

Chris: Alright then. With that act concluded, the Gophers are in the lead by two points. Can the Bass catch up and win this whole shabang? Or will the Gophers stay in the lead and win a challenge for once? (cackles) Doubt it!

\---> Samantha: Four?! Out of NINE?! Who does this Constance girl think she is? What I did out there was spectacular and not something anybody can do whenever! So much practice went into that. So much devotion and skill went into doing all of that. That magician has no right to downgrade my act like that when all she brings to the table is petty magic! 

\---> Julie: For once, things are looking up for my pathetic team. If we can stay in the lead like this, then we might just win it. I'm not accepting another loss, alright? Four losses in a row is unacceptable! Three losses in a row is already humiliating and bad enough as is. My team better not screw this up, especially Nicki. Me? No worries there. I know what I'm doing. (wink)

\---> Cory: (shrugs) Eh. I guess that was cool. My cousin, though? (smiles a little) He rocked it out there. Way to go, man. Way to go. (thumbs up)

\---> Spencer: My favorite number of the alphabet is Q!

\---> Constance: My hat's still missing and now I have the feeling, some kind of hunch, that somebody in here earlier was insulting me and my magic. (narrows eyes) Not a wise idea.

Chris: Next up, from the Screaming Gophers, is Nicki! (steps offstage; curtains open up)

\---> Nicki: Like, I don't know what is up with that Julie chick, but she, like, decided to go last instead of having me do so. I guess it doesn't matter, but wouldn't it be smarter to keep the big guns for last? She did say I'd be the winning act. Feeling like she doesn't think that anymore...

Nicki: (looks out at everyone; gulps and strides over to the microphone stand)

  ---> Nicki: So, uh... (rubs shoulder shyly) I may or may not get a bit of stage fright every now and then. Heheheh..heh...heh. (gulps)  

 

(The Killer Bass look on, betting on what her performance will be. The Screaming Gophers on the other hand are applauding Nicki, whistling, hooting, hollering, etc. June's voice stands out the most from the crowd to Nicki. All this praise prior to her act was secretly helping Nicki build confidence and motivation. Her feelings of nervousness and anxiety slowly started to fade away.)

Nicki: (clears throat; closes her eyes and takes a deep breath) Okay. (to herself) You can do this, Nicki. (steps closer to the mic; begins to sing)

Everybody: (patiently waiting)

Nicki:♫ I wanna be the greatest ever, like nobody has ever been. We'll work together, we'll be the best of friends.♫

June: (loud excitable gasp; bouncing in her seat in excitement and pure joy)

\---> June: The theme song! THE THEME SONG! She's singing the Pokeymin theme song! She actually took my recommendation and did it! (loud screeching) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!~

\---> Charles: I heard loud screaming coming from here. I advanced over here to investigate, wondering if somebody had been impended. (takes one final look around) Looks clear. (leaves)

Nicki:♫ I will trek across all lands, looking far and wide, each Pokeymin to understand, the power that lies inside. Pokeymin! Gotta capture 'em all! Its you and I. I know its my inevitability. Pokeymin! Oh, you're my friend to the end, in a world we must comprehend! ♫

June: (fangirling so hard)

Blackichan: (scoots away as a precaution) 

Nicki:♫ Pokeymin! Gotta capture 'em all! A heart so pure and true! Our prowess will pull us through! You enlighten me and I'll enlighten you~ Po-key-min! Gotta capture 'em all! Gotta capture 'em all! POKEYMIN!♫ (finishes her song)

June: (stands up; rapidly claps) WOO! YEAH! WOO-HOO! YEAH! (whistles) GO NICKI!

Screaming Gophers: (join in) Yeah!// Way to go!// What the hell is Pokeymin?// Magnificent singing!

Killer Bass: (widened eyes)

\---> Hamilton: With the likes of Blackichan and Nicki on the other team, we're screwed! How are we supposed to compete with musical talent like THAT?! (deep breath) I need to stay calm. Kylie, Miguel, and Theresa can still win this for us. We have to stay strong!

Nicki: (rubs arm shyly) Heh, sorry for not singing the entire theme...

Chris: (walks onstage) Doesn't look like that matters because Constance is digging your singing!

Constance-O-Meter: 7/9

Nicki: (surprised) Dang. T-thanks. (walks offstage shocked at herself)

Chris: Yeah yeah, that's great. (hurries her up) The Killer Bass are getting SMASHED right now!

Marissa: (crossed arms) And not in the good way, either.

Chris: They're in need of a miracle right now to help pull them through. Maybe, just maybe, this next performance can do just that! Come on out, Kylie!

\---> Hamilton: I had a talk with my team earlier. I realized I got a little too...assertive and controlling. So, we decided to NOT force Amanda to perform tonight. Instead, we decided we would have a better chance at winning if we selected somebody from our team that was really talented and knew what they were doing. That's why we replaced Amanda with Samantha. Kylie was already a definite choice. (smiles) I believe in her to do her best.

\---> Amanda: Oh thank the heavens above I was freed from having to perform! I had nothing to offer! Well, nothing that wasn't time-consuming or exactly defined as "exciting," but still, I've been saved!

(As Chris leaves, Kylie walks out into the open, dressed as a main character from Stephen Galaxy. Forget describing the outfit and shit, I'm too lazy for that. Anyways, Kylie drops down to a single knee and lowers her head as a projection of a different character is put up in front of her. It's almost like a hologram. Almost.)

Rosie: Jewel.

Kylie: (quickly raises her head; eyes Rosie) Yes?

Rosie: (stern) I'm going to remain here and fight for this world. You really don't, and I repeat, don't have to do this with me.

Kylie: (pleads) B-but...But I want to, Rosie!

Rosie: I know that, but you need to listen to me. Understand what I'm saying, Jewel, please. If we lose, they'll kill us. If we win, we can't ever go back home.

Kylie: (misty eyes; faint smile) Why would I ever want to return home when you're here?

Rosie: (soft smile grows on her face; small chuckle; reaches her hand out to Kylie)

Kylie: (eyes widen; gently grabs her hand)

Rosie: My Jewel.

Kylie: You're...wonderful. (squeezes Rosie's hand lightly)

Rosie: (heartwarming smile; disperses into light particles; her projection is gone)

Kylie: (has a thousand-yard stare)

Chris: And scene! (walks over to Kylie)

Everyone: (cheering)

Chris: No idea what that was about, where it's from, or why it was so emotional, but hey, Constance really liked it! (points up at the Constance-O-Meter)

Constance-O-Meter: 8/9

Kylie: It's an emotional scene from the amazing, popular cartoon Stephen Gal-- (shoved off the stage)

Chris: Don't care! The Screaming Gophers remain in the lead by only ONE point! The Killer Bass need to hope that their final act will outdo the Gophers's final act or else they'll be sending somebody home! For the Gophers, the final act from their team for the night will be done by...Julie! (waltz away)

Julie: (walks out holding a familiar top hat) I hope you're all ready to be AMAZED!

{{===Behind the Scenes===}}

Constance: (watching the show on a monitor with Chef; she gasps) That's my top hat! She must of stolen it from my trailer!

Chef: Ya sure? That could be any ol' top hat.

Constance: (stares him down)

Chef: (stares back; stands up) Ya think ya can intimidate me, girl?! 

Constance: (sighs) I don't have time for this. (uses a smoke ball)

Chef: (coughing) Yeah! (coughs) Ya better run, ya runt! (coughs) Man, was the smoke ball necessary? Ya could of just walked out of the room! (more coughing)

{{===Outdoor Amphitheater===}}

Julie: (reaches into the hat; pulls something out) BEHOLD! A FLAMETHROW--What the?!

(Julie had pulled out Constance from the hat. Constance glares down at her and calmly steps out of the hat. Julie is bewildered, trying to figure out how this happened.)

Zane: WOWZA! She pulled out a person! (the only one clapping)

Julie: Oh! Sorry about that, I meant to pull out a fla--

Constance: Give it back. Please.

Julie: (startled) Huh?

Constance: That's my hat. Give it back, Julie.

Everyone: (dead silent; unsure of what to think)

\---> Charles: So Julie resorted to stealing and using a magical top hat just to sway us with magic and to certify herself a position in the show, huh? Why am I not astonished?

Constance: (swipes it from Julie) Wanna see magic? I'll show you magic. (whips out a wand and taps it around on the bottom of the hat)

Julie: (raises an eyebrow)

Constance: (pulls out a boxing glove gun; fires it at Julie's face)

Julie: (is punched square in between the eyes) YOW! What the hell?!

Everyone: (either winces or laughs)

Constance: (pulls a big tarp out of her hat; throws it over Julie) BE GONE! (taps the wand around; pulls off the tarp and Julie has disappeared)

Everyone: (jaws dropped; eyes bugging out their faces)

\---> Calvin: What just happened?!

\---> Samantha: (laughs) Now THAT was a show. Y'know, Constance isn't so bad. I'm not angry about that score anymore.

\---> Nicki: She deserved it. (shrugs) Just sayin'.

Constance: (takes a bow; places her top hat upon her head) That's better.

Chris: (laughing hysterically) Man! Who'd ever known THAT was gonna happen? (throws arm around Constance's shoulder; she pulls away) Great stuff, Constance!

Constance: Thanks?

Chris: (wipes away a single tear) So, what do you give Julie's "performance"? (cackles)

 

Constance: A one.

Constance-O-Meter: 1/9

Chris: WOW! Unless the Killer Bass screw up their final act REALLY bad, there's no way the Screaming Gophers are winning this one! That's not really all that surprising, now is it?

Screaming Gophers: (collective audible mass of groans, whining, and complaining)

Chris: Constance, you kinda need to be back behind the scen--

Constance: (instantly vanishes in a big cloud of smoke)

Chris: (coughing) Really, Constance?! (coughs) Can the final act from the Killer Bass come out here already? (coughs; walks away while swatting at all the smoke)

Theresa & Miguel: (come leaping out)

Killer Bass: (cheering with "we totally got this" expressions)

Screaming Gophers: (look gloomy as all hell)

\---> Cory: (sighs) Great. Four losses in a row. We officially suck more than Team Victory! (awkward silence) It's from a different universe, okay? Most people wouldn't know what I'm referring to.

(As Theresa and Miguel start flipping, jumping, spinning, etc. around, Chris abruptly interrupts the act by walking onstage and telling them to stop.)

Chris: Woah, woah! You guys can't do this.

Miguel: Why not?

Theresa: You jealous of us or something?

Chris: ...Maybe. Okay, yes, but that's not why I'm stopping this talent contest. The real reason is because two people are performing when--

Hamilton: (eyes fling open; speaks aloud) When only one person per act should be performing. (facepalms repeatedly) You've got to be kidding me! How'd I forget that?

Miguel: Wait, what are you talking about?

Theresa: (dreadful expression) You don't mean...

Chris: Yup! The Killer Bass here didn't listen to my instructions. I gave both team eight hours to choose their THREE most talented campers. The Bass chose FOUR. Sorry Bass, but that's an automatic disqualification for you guys. Therefore, that means...

Hamilton: (hands on head) WHAT?! NO!

Chris: YES! The Screaming Gophers have FINALLY WON!

Screaming Gophers: YES!// WA-HOO!// What's a Pokeymin?!// The losing streak is OVER!// Rock on!

Chris: Tough luck, Killer Bass. Maybe you'll listen more closely to my instructions next time. See you guys at the bonfire! (goes offscreen)

\---> Hamilton: NO! (tugging on his hair) They'll vote me off for sure! I was the one who decided to force both Miguel and Theresa into an act together. They didn't even agree to or anything! (groans) I really screwed this chance up for myself. (sigh) Fun while it lasted, I suppose.

\---> June: Man, what luck, am I right?! I mean, all the Pokeymin and Stephen Galaxy songs and references! I was fangirling so hard, I couldn't stay in my seat! Nicki, though! NICKI, THOUGH! She sang the Pokeymin theme song like a freakin' CHAMP! (woops continuously)

\---> Samantha: I think I have a pretty good idea of what chump I'll be voting to beat it tonight.

{{===Bonfire Ceremony===}}

(For the first time so far, the Killer Bass arrive at the elimination ceremony, taking their seats on the collection of tree stumps. Chris is seen standing at his podium, patiently waiting for them to seat themselves. In the back row, in order, is Amanda, Theresa, Miguel, Brooke, Calvin, and Hamilton. In the front, Spencer, Kylie, Marissa, Zane, and Samantha.)

 

Chris: Killer Bass! Welcome to your first ever elimination ceremony. Allow me to explain how this works. First, you'll all place your votes on who you want to send home. After that, I'll tally up the votes and then give out marshmallows. If your name is called, you'll receive a marshmallow. If your name ISN'T called, then you don't receive a marshmallow, which means you must walk down the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers to leave the island, and NEVER COME BACK. EVER!

Killer Bass: (some tremble and gulp in fear; others remain stoic)

Chris: In front of me are eleven of you. However, on this platter are only ten marshmallows. The first marshmallow goes to...Kylie.

Kylie: Yes! (catches her marshmallow)

Chris: The rest of these go out to...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Spencer and Zane.

Spencer: (stares intimidatingly at Zane; licks his lips; marshmallow lands in his mouth)

Zane: (eyes widen to the size of baseballs; marshmallow lands in his lap)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Calvin and Marissa.

Calvin: (catches his; douses it in barbecue sauce and affectionately eats it up)

Marissa: (watches in pure horror)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Hamilton and Amanda.

Hamilton: (catches his; wipes brow and then proceeds to glower at Amanda)

Amanda: (happy to get a marshmallow; notices Hamilton and sheepishly grins)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: ...Miguel and Theresa.

Samantha: (stunned) Excuse me?!

Brooke: Yeah, what the hell is this?!

Chris: Wow, even I'm shocked! I mean, everyone thought that Amanda was going, or Theresa or Miguel, or hell, even Hamilton! But you two? I mean, I don't blame your team.

Brooke: Well, I DO!

Samantha: For once, I agree with her. I'm pretty much this team's strongest link!

Chris: Apparently, you two are here for the same reason: non-stop arguing with each other. Over the last few episodes, as well as this one, your team has grown really annoyed with you two not getting along. So, looks like they've decided that the only way to fix that is by sending one of you home. 

Samantha: What bullshit!

Brooke: Totally bullshit!

Chris: Nope! This is happening, like it or not. The final marshmallow of the evening goes to...

(Both Brooke and Samantha are on the edge of their seats, staring down the final marshmallow resting upon the silver platter. That overly-familiar dramatic bonfire ceremony music cues.) 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chris: Samantha. (flicks it with his thumb at her)

Samantha: (sighs in relief; catches it and inhales it)

Brooke: WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! After everything I've done for this team?!

Samantha: (waves her fingers at Brooke as she lays back)

Calvin: You're kind of an ass, so...yeah. That's why you're going.

Kylie: You'll hear no disagreements from me.

Brooke: How dare you guys! How dare all of you! I put in so much hard work and effort into bettering this team and this is how I'm repaid?!

Chris: (irritated) CHEF! Your services are needed!

Chef: (marches on over with a burlap sack; mumbling) Annoying little brats...

Brooke: Fine! I didn't need the money anyways! I'll go and become so successful on my own that I'll be making money like nobody's business! (Chef tugs her arm) Get off me!

Chef: Either get on the damn boat or you're going in the sack!

Brooke: No! I refuse to do both! You can't make me!

Chef: (growls)

Brooke: ...Okay, yeah, I'll get on the boat. (speeds walks down the dock)

Chef: (follows her with the burlap sack)

{{===Dock Of Shame===}}

Brooke: (on Boat Of Losers) You'll regret this! Trust me, you will! Without me, winning is going to be harder than ever before! You guys are going to have a losing streak just like the Gophers, except it'll be worse! Much worse! (is sailed off into the distance)

Samantha: (dusts off her hands) Good riddance. (leaves the dock)

Killer Bass: (leave the dock to their cabins)

Chris: And that concludes another dramatic, talent-packed episode of Total Drama Summer Camp! With Brooke gone, will Samantha finally learn to chill out? Is Amanda still on thin ice with her team? Is Hamilton now there with her? Will Theresa and Miguel ever make up? How many things will June fangirl over in the next episode? Will Cory ever give a damn about anybody or anything? Has Julie learned a lesson from her petty theft of Constance's hat? Speaking of Julie, where the hell is she? Why the hell do I ask so many questions at the end of every episode?! Tune in next time to find out the answers to those questions and more, or essentially less, right here on TOTAL DRAMA SUMMER CAMP!

{{===Female Gophers Cabin===}}

Lina: (baffled expression)

Nicki: Yo, something wrong, Lina?

Lina: I...I feel like we're forgetting something.

Nicki: Like what?

Lina: No idea. I can't help but feel we've forgotten something.

Nicki: (shrugs) Whatever it is, maybe some sleep will help you remember. You can deal with it tomorrow, ok?

Lina: R-right. Okay. (lays her head down on her pillow)

{{===Woods===}}

Julie: HELP! HEEELLLLPPPP! Will somebody come and help me already?! (clinging onto a tree branch; she's really high up) Come on! Somebody, anybody, HELP ME THE HELL DOWN THIS TREE!

(Nobody comes to her aid.)

Julie: (groans) Stupid Constance! She just had to fuc--OW! (an acorn was thrown at her head) Who threw that?!

Squirrel: (is on a branch across from her on a different tree; it runs over and sits upon her head)

Julie: Get off me, you little rat! SHOO! SHOO! (swats at it; loses balance and falls) AHHHHH!!!

Squirrel: (watches her fall)

Julie: (lands on a lower branch and clings to it; she's still high up) You little shit squirrel!

Squirrel: (laughs at her)

~~~END~~~


End file.
